I want to keep updating here, but my days of doing that will be numbered. I don't want PWBF to read here, not now...probably not ever. No real reason...just don't want him to.

My 30th birthday has came and went...and all things considered, it was one of the best birthdays to date. I got FRONT ROW Red Wings tickets from my super boyfriend, along with a nice dinner at Greektown. Night would have been better if PWBF wasn't still in great pain from triple hernia surgery he had a week and a half earlier.

And with all that...PWBF (Pray Warrior Boyfriend) isn't my BF any more. Sounds sad huh? NOPE!!!!!!!! He's my fiance! He got down on bended knee about 5 minutes after we got home from the Red Wings game. He waited til we got home so our engagement anniversary wasn't on my birthday.

God is love!

I suck at updating this lately. Just don't feel like it.

I'll show you a picture...okay, maybe not. Won't give me the upload box. ERRRR.

I am sitting home on a Saturday night...watching Michigan State vs Iowa football game AND Red Wings vs Avalanche hockey game. It would only be better if my pray warrior boyfriend was cuddling with me. PWBF is out of state, visiting his son for the weekend.

Wait...maybe it will let me add the picture. I'm sure this will format for crap...

That photo was taken the end of September. That's my PWBF & me, enjoying a super nice Autumn day at the cider mill.

That's all folks.

God is love.

So much going on like always...

For starters JJ's husband and JJ have been having physical altercations in which the police have been involved. Now, I do NOT think its ok for a man to ever hit a woman, I do know my sister to know she is NOT innocent. Of course, she's choosing to stay with him. I have mentioned before that she works about 60+ hours a week, he doesn't, and Jax goes to a babysitter most days. I just want to rescue Jax from this mess.

Mom and Dad are going to visit Jo and her Baby's Daddy tomorrow. Have I mentioned that Baby's Daddy is legally married? Anyways. I've said in the past that I like Baby's Daddy, just don't like him regarding my sister. Well, that's changed. My parents have this idea that he's the sweetest thing ever. Yeah. My feelings are so hurt tonight that I just can't focus. On the phone with Jo earlier (note: I spend MAYBE 10 minutes a week on the phone with her), and he's in the background mumbling. I ask Jo what he said and she says "he said...get the di*k out of your mouth." NICE. Then a few minutes later he was going on about my BF being older and not being able to look at him. SERIOUSLY. Done.

So now, both of my siblings significant others are dead to me.

God is love.

Many things have changed since I last blogged...for starters, the 2 lives I was kinda living, I put a quick end to that. I had my reasons, and I stand behind them, but its over now and everything is now free and clear, in the open to everyone. YAY!

Life with my pray warrior boyfriend is great. Sometimes to great. When you have been disappointed and let down so many times in life, by so many people, you always are waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I currently have a cold/sinus infection kicking my butt...which leads to way to much thinking time. Today I realized I turn 30 in about a month. I had been okay with that for a long while...then I started thinking about how turning 25 was hell. About how ST broke up with me and my life got turned upside down about a month before my birthday.

I've got a lot of jealousy issues going on in my head right now. Between not having (or ever getting) some of the things my friends have, to how my parents are treating my little sister right now, jealousy steam is just brewing and brewing and going to shoot out my ears soon.

God is love.

I am computer-less at the moment.  I am using Dad's dinosaur, virus infested POS at the moment.  Ugh.  I ordered the part I need for my laptop, it shipped yesterday, going priority mail...and only 2 states away.  PRAYING for it to arrive Monday.  Dad is already PISSED at me for "messing up his icons."  LMAO.

Tomorrow, I am going to the Lions vs Vikings game.  Excited to see Ford Field!  Could care less about the Lions.  I'm also nervous about running into a friend.  I have my reasons, but I am kinda living two lives at the moment.  As soon as I have time to sit down and talk to one person, I won't be...but that time hasn't come and the issues at hand, this person needs to hear from ME, face to face...and NO ONE else.  Ugh.  Of course, when I have time, this person doesn't.  Oh well, I can only control so much.

God is love.

For the first time in my LIFE, I am dating someone that prays for us and prays for me and prays with me.  AMAZING.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good.

WTF! I haven't bothered blogging lately since I couldn't sign in and was going to have to post via email...but just for the hell of it, I tried today and it let me sign in. What gives?!

So, last time I wrote, I should have been having the time of my life and wasn't! I went on vacation to visit an old friend that I hadn't seen in 2 years. It was HELL! Less then 24 hours after I got there, I kicked the friend out of my hotel room, tried to leave early but that wasn't possible so I rented a car and made the best of it. I went and did all kinds of things by myself. I did the best I could to make it a decent trip. Where parts of the trip (the first 24 hours) stirred up things from my past that I NEVER wanted to deal with again, I was forced to step outside of my box SOOOO much and do things I never thought I was capable of.

Since then, lots has been going on.

I had a HUGE fight with my dead friend J. Where I do not think I was wrong, after talking with my Dad (and remember I am the worlds biggest daddy's girl!), Dad said sometimes its just better to be the bigger person and apologize for fighting and try to move past it. Well, I did just that last night after thinking and praying about it. WELL, it backfired and J was a jerkball. So, now I have no idea where that leaves us, and I feel bad like his wife is almost in the middle.

My non-existent dating life has became existent. :-) And where I am happy with what's going on, I am a people pleaser to a fault...and I KNOW the great majority of people are going to have issues with it, so I've got a lot to think about. Fireproof with Kirk Cameron is one of my favorite movies. There is a line in the movie, "Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it." That's the line that's going to carry me through this mess.

My parents went up to my Gpaw's house for Labor Day weekend. Not once, but TWICE my Dad got attacked by Gpaw's cat. I laughed when I heard about it, until I saw my Dad. I was expecting a few scratches, but when they said attacked, that's what they meant!!!! Dad went to the doctor yesterday, and now has meds to take and knows what to look for if something goes bad. His right leg and hand look like he went through a blender.

God is love.

I should be having the time of my LIFE and I'm NOT!

Test

So, nearly 5 years after I started my blog, I can no longer log into the account the way I always have.  I tried to reset things and nothing.  I don't have time to really address the issue.  Hopefully this works.

God is love.

I usually try to not give away to many details of my life here on my blog...but I'm MUCH TO PROUD to not share this with you...

My nephew JM is a hero!

That link should take you to the Fox 2 Detroit's thing they did tonight. Its not 100% accurate like most things in the media, but its close.

God is love.

MySpace Countdown Clocks

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

CJ, the love of my life, that I have NO IDEA how to get over, just IMed me on facebook.

Whats really strange is I almost always have my IM there turned off. I don't know how it even got turned on.

I want to yell a him and tell him that every once of me wants to hate him, but I love him. Damn him. Its so strange and strained.

Freaking out. Majorly.

God is love.

LOTS going on here. Some of which I'm not comfortable talking about here yet...with time.

Yesterday was a HORRIBLE day, like I knew it was going to be, then it got worse...THEN it got much worse (which is the stuff I won't talk about right now).

I'm doing better today, but not well. I went to Church tonight (for a few different reasons) and then out with a friend for ice cream and to vent about the issue at hand. We ended up hanging out there and talking for like 2 hours. I'm slightly concerned I told her to much regarding other issues (like Red!). Red and I are very protective over what others know about our nothingness.

I went to Church tonight because I thought it was a service about missions, which I like...it wasn't but that's okay. I went to Church tonight because when I'm in a depression phase, Church is one of the best places I can be. I went to Church tonight because I needed to talk to my friend, I have hardly anyone in this town I can talk to. (I actually think its the first time I've called upon any of my farmville friends to be true friends) I went to Church tonight because I didn't want to hang out with this guy from softball.

This guy from softball...he's interested in me. I'm not that interested in him. I'm to nice. I don't have a reason to blow him off so I can't...but ugh. I'll have to see him tomorrow. Hopefully I can think of something.

I get to see Red the next two days. YAY! Did I mention yet, that Red bought a motorcycle today? Motorcycles scare me.

I need to find a boy. A real boy toy.

I was thinking about it earlier today, I kinda have it good. I have two non-boyfriends yet am free to do what I want when I want...but really, that's not what I want. I want Red and I to get married, have lots of babies, and live happily ever after. Maybe. Maybe that's what I want. I think that's what I want, but God only knows right now.

God is love.

I wish my Dad had a clue how much he hurts me sometimes. He reminds me on a daily basis (usually multiple times a day!) that I am single and that his goal in life is to marry me off. I do a decent job laughing it off on the surface but it just cuts.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!