I Feel Lucky

Its been a dark day in the life of T. Very dark, the darkest I recall in over a year. Nothing to be proud of really, but nothing to be ashamed of either. I made it through! I had a few major and tons of minor meltdowns, but all in all, I came out on top.

At one point, during a huge meltdown, it took a great deal of concious effort to NOT call ST. I am so used to turning to him, him knowing the right things to say to shake me back into reality gently, so used to him wanting to make things better for me. I made it without him! I know that might not sound like a big deal to most of you, but to me, it was!

Mom is doing well basically (except puking about every other hour, just because) and I actually turned to her some today. I have been trying to NOT go to her, because I hate not being able to count on her. Maybe because I felt like I didn't have anywhere else to turn, maybe because I knew she was doing well, maybe because God led me to her.

Jo & I didn't get to go to the bible study like we wanted to. Every aspect of my life is basically on hold still. I hate my life being in the hands of others! If this car issue doesn't get solved the way I would like and I have to stay at Gma's and walk everywhere...I'm cool with that. I just want it SOLVED! What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

Its nearly 23:00, I have to be out the door at 05:50 and I still have laundry going. Again, what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger...or so I pretend.

T out.