Avant Garden

I HATE that I allow others to control my emotions!  My problem is that I often (on the surface to most outsiders) remain SO emotionless.  Those that I open up to...I really OPEN UP to, much more then I should.  Then I get hurt.  I wish that those that I open up to, I had a switch and could just SHUT THINGS OFF, but I can't. 

A friend of mine is dating someone, in order to get over someone else.  There is NO other point to this relationship.  My friend has told me from their own mouth that is the reason for the relationship.  Part of my brain thinks that logic might not be a bad idea for me...but I see all the flaws in that logic.  ESPECIALLY right now...that could back fire on LOTS of areas of my life.  I need to be more patient.  Ha!  Me patient.  Its all an interesting mess.  I wish I could be less social phobic.  I wish I could be more outgoing, like the friend I speak of in the first sentence of this paragraph.  Then again, I often think this friend is SO outgoing to cover up some things that are lacking within.  I'm just getting sick & tired of being alone.  More then being alone though, I'm sick and tired of HURTING!

This up & down game my brain plays isn't fun.  NOT AT ALL! 

I think sleep might help.  Hitting the lotto would help LOTS too! 

How about those WORLD SERIES bound Detroit Tigers?!?!?  FABULOUS!!!!!!!

28 days to my birthday!  I'm not excited about it at all, I have NO reason to be...but I'll pretend I am.  If I pretend long & hard enough, maybe I'll get excited about it. 

God is love!