This Time

I feel like the tension between Red & I is so thick! His new hair cut looks good, but tonight he didn't have the slightest of a smile (this coming from the person that told me I need to smile more, there is always something to smile about in life). I miss his smile. I miss him, the friendship I had with him at the end of the summer. Such is life. Nothing more, nothing less.

I'm proud of me tonight, in some silly T way! My Dad had a big bowl of ice cream, then he & Jo ate doritos, while Mom was eating popcorn and I just had my water w/ lemon. Go me! My clothes are literally falling off me right now, which is a great feeling...but I can't afford to buy more. Plus, I want to loose MORE...yet, part of my head is like "The weight isn't going to stay off." Mom thinks I'm loosing weight for some guy(s). She's a nutjob. I am putting an effort into not gaining weight for the simple fact that...I don't want to be this fat forever.

Dad got a deer tonight...kinda. How does one kinda get a deer? We shall see tomorrow. Dad doesn't understand how/why I want to rifle hunt and NOT bow hunt. Getting him to see other's points of view is like beating my head into a brick wall.

T out.