Go Easy On Her

To say I'm stressed, depressed, and anxiety filled right now is an understatement!  I can't sleep, I can't function, I feel like I'm going to vomit, I feel like my heart is caving in, my head is pounding, I can't see straight, I can't stop crying, I'm shaking like a leaf (God only knows how I'm managing to type this).

I've got to make a phone call today & I'm TOTALLY 100% dreading it, but I know it will make things a little better regarding my stress level.  I just HATE dealing with the world.  If the situation only regarded me, I'd avoid it...but it involves another that doesn't need added stress at all!

I feel like one of my best friends & I are really growing apart or something.  Its crushing me lately.  Its my friend that has been there for me thru thick & thin over the past few years.  Its my friend that I always felt like I could count on.  Now, I feel like I'm just a pest to this friend.  The more I try to talk to this friend about it, the bigger attitude I feel like I'm getting from my friend.  Part of me, wishes I could walk away and not care...but the realistic part of me knows that feeling like I'm losing this friend is killing me.

I'm debating whether I'm going to work or not today.  If I knew I could stay home, get myself together mentally (as much as possible), I would do it in a heartbeat...but I don't think staying home will help at all.  I really miss the days where I could go into work whenever & leave whenever!  But, if I stay home I could get things accomplished that my parents have been bitching about.  I could get this feeling like I'm having a heart attack to go away.  I just don't know what to do anymore, ever.

All of this is just killing me.  I'm dying slowly & painfully.  It just sucks!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!