Mirror Love

Things have been stupid crazy in my life and within my head.  I'm home, for now.  I don't see it staying that way.

Wednesday night I had to say bye to Red.  He's going back to school in IL.  It was such an odd "Good-bye"  I was pulling out of the parking lot when I realized he was leaving today & I wouldn't see him anytime soon.  Of course, I went back and told him bye.  Things are just SO different.  I'm really not affected by him leaving this year. 

Had a run in with long lost CJ today.  DEFINITELY NOT what I needed!!!  I thought I was SOOOOO over him.  I thought WRONG.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Realizing I'm hung up on him is leading to lots of questions within my head, especially regarding #4. 

Other life issues...I can only control MY actions!  I cannot be responsible for the thoughts and actions of others.  Which also means that OTHERS can't control my thoughts and actions.  I'm at my whit's end.  I've cried, I'm yelled, I've talked, I'm done.  The best road isn't always the easy road.

I'm missing ST a lot right now.  I have NO idea how the kid manages to understand me, deal with me, and tough love me.  I would do just about anything to be able to go to Cinci right now.  I just need a hug from him.  Silly I know. It would, at least for that 30 seconds, make everything in my world seem better.

What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.

The next few days shall be interesting... ;-)

God is love!