Hole In My Soul

So, I'm doing a decent job of making lemonade out of life's lemons.

That doesn't mean all is great in my life!  I "what if" a situation to death.  My ability to handle stress or anything that doesn't go "right" is lacking MAJORLY!  I keep everything inside, to the best of my ability...but those in the know, know I'm still fighting the never ending depression battle.

I was doing okay...until my Favorite Aunt IM'ed me.  "Did you get the message to call Favorite Uncle regarding your life when Gma gets out of the hospital?"  Well, no I didn't get the message.  Everyone in that family should KNOW by now that unless you talk to me or leave ME a voicemail, I'm not getting any message.  So, from now until the time I manage to talk to Favorite Uncle, I'm a tad stressed.  Part of my logical head says I shouldn't be.  1)  Its regarding Gma & we all know I'm her favorite.  2)  Its Favorite Uncle and he's such a good guy!  Yet, not knowing is a HUGE stresser for me.  I have NO idea when Favorite Uncle and I will have time to talk really either.  Just ERRRRRRR!  God's plan.

4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.   Philippians 4:4-7 (NIV)

I went to Church yesterday.  After a bunch of confusion and stupidity on my part...I made it to Church.  I have a huge commitment to God to make it to Church every week unless things are out of my control.  There is SO much more to my relationship with Christ then just going to Church...but its one of those things that I've got to do for me!  I ended up going to the Church that I attended from age 11-20, the Church that I got saved in.  It was SO nice to go back "home" so to speak.  While that Church has physically change a ton, the people have changed somewhat, Pastor Mike wasn't there.  I still LOVE that place!

I'm off to do things that make me happier, unlike dealing with my family!

God is love!