Walk On Down

I wish I could have a penny for every time I've said the word WHY in the past month!

Turnabout is fair play.  All is fair in love & war.  I wish the world could be more up front & honest.

I had a training session at work today.  It was scheduled to be 30 minutes, 75 minutes later, I was done.  I know NOTHING!  I'm meeting with the real trainer tomorrow morning because I will be the first one in the department to go live on Monday morning...with NO help.  I have NO clue what I'm doing.  Not good.  I know after a few hours of being live on the new system...things will be okay, but right now they don't seem that way.

I feel this depression getting worse and worse.  I have NOTHING to look forward to right now.  It sucks.  Everything sucks.  I have no one to talk to really, no one that I really trust to open up to, that understands things without me having to explain 101 things that I just don't feel like explaining.  I just wish ST didn't live 300+ miles away.  He gets me.  He listens, he loves, he tells me how it is.  ERRRRRR.  I wish I could open up to people, trust people.  I feel like every time I do that it just ends up burning me in the end.  Part of me almost wishes I didn't trust ST, then I wouldn't miss him...but then I wouldn't know what a real friend is.  Seriously, I feel like he's the only real friend I have left and he's so damn far away.

God, I just want the pain to end.  The tears to end. This life to end.  I'm on a sinking ship.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!