Its 4:30AM and I'm still awake.  Not cool.

In two days (literally to the minute!) I'll be leaving on a Work & Witness trip with my Church.  Very excited for what God has planned for us, but nervous about the unknowns and nervous to be away from Husband for so long.  I'll be able to call/text/email him so that should help...but still.  Outside of my box!  Excited, anxious, and nervous.

After lots of talking & praying, and talking to others & having others pray.  We have decided to not pursue the adoption of Little Boy P.  There was talk of us fostering him for awhile & we do NOT want to go that route at all.  This has been very sad & emotional for me.  The door isn't completely shut on this, but until God opens it more...it is.  Sad!  :-(  I want nothing but the best for him, and I know we could give him that.

My Mom said something earlier today about when Husband & I have our own family.  That hurt.  If its just husband and I forever, we are still a FAMILY.  Having kids or not doesn't make you a family.

I want children NOW, doesn't matter biological or adopted...but I don't need everyone to remind me.

God is love.