Bye Bye

I hate when I can't sleep! My lovely body thought it was nap time, now with 4 hours of sleep I'm awake. I could have woken up because my stomach & left ear aren't feeling grand. Just another thing to make me ERRRRRRR.

I'm in the same mood as earlier. I just want to hide from myself.

I'm finding out lately that most of the movies I enjoyed just a few months ago, I'm really starting to dislike. Same goes for TV shows. Unless isn't something real, I just can't handle it. American Wedding used to be a great movie, but now, I just can't handle all the unreal things in it. I mean, the dog eating the wedding ring and the guy chasing them around waiting for them to shit. Yeah, okay. Or, pubic hair blowing onto the wedding cake. Give me a break. I used to love the TV show 7th Heaven. Now, seriously how many random kids (not counting their own 7 kids) can one family take in, all on a Pastor's salary. Lucy has her baby in this week's episode. I'm dreading it. I have a very realistic view of child birth and I hate hate hate how it is always portrayed on TV. Maybe this is why I don't watch much TV.

Yes, I'm the one that can't read fiction books.

Yesterday (now, by a few hours) was P & Bean's birthday. I emailed P a card. How nice of me. Didn't hear anything back and she was online. Bean was my childhood best friend. From the time we were 4 & 5 until we were 18 & 19, we were the best of friends! Then Jan. of 1998, there was a huge blow out. We didn't talk AT ALL for 2.5 years. Since then, we have seen each other 5 times (our housewarming party, her wedding shower & wedding, her Grandpa's funeral, and Jo's graduation party). We exchange holiday cards, always say we should get together, etc. Its just not the same, I know it will never be the same. I miss having her in my life so much! So, I took a HUGE step and called to wish her a happy birthday! Of course, since there is this huge ackwardness, I called from working knowing she would be at work. I did leave her a message with my #, so now its on her for awhile. I've poured my heart into trying to be friends with her and it just doesn't seem to be that important to her. Maybe someday.

When I was on my way home from work today, I was trying to remember how Bean got her name. She's been Bean forever. Everyone knows who I'm talking about when I say Bean. I got home, look at Jo's dry earse board. She wrote "Happy B-Day P & Beana!" Duh! That's it. Selena-Beana, turned into just Bean!

Peace, love, and restless nights to all.