As Far A I Know

I am really *sick* of everything reminding me of ST! I was just carrying my DVD's upstairs (Mom was borrowing them...the joys of getting her a new toy) and on top of the pile was "Gone With The Wind." Why does that movie remind me of ST? I really don't know, maybe because he bought it for me. When Jo & I went up north a few weeks ago, so much reminded me of him...SO much. Memorial Day Weekend is coming up and that was OUR weekend!

I haven't talked to ST at all, in over a week. Every day, I think I should call him because I want us to be friends, but yet, I just can't. I feel like I'm interfering in something, somewhere I don't belong (he tells me that's not the case at all..but its just how I feel). With time, T...with time, I know us being friends is a real possiblity...but I have to deal with it when/how I want, not how/when others want me to! Some days are easier for me to work on us being friends then others...I must do what is best for me!

Chelle, Blondie & I were talking about me dating. Seems the whole world wants me to date. As much as I don't like being single, I'm don't know that I'm ready to date. Besides the fact, that I don't know how to date (dating = being social, which I'm NOT)...I've got some stuff to workout within my head. With time...its all going to work out. Or, so I hope & pray...hopefully sooner rather then later.

So, now many months later, I still have issues & hang ups regarding the ST situation, makes me sad sometimes, but I look back on everything with such happiness, I wouldn't change the time we had together for the world. I'm crying as I write this (its been a crying day!), but I'm happy with my life! God doesn't give me more then I can handle, God proves me with what I need, God has a plan for me. I might not always understand God's plan...but it will happen, with time...God's time!

I find it interesting, that my Gma said today "She's not shy." I'm not shy really, but there is a delicate line between shy and sociaphobic!

Peace, love, & over analysis of everything to all!