Just Like A Pill

Chatting with ST online right now. Probably not the smartest thing ever. I shouldn't talk to him shortly before I plan on going to bed. If I dream about him again tonight, I'm going to get on a plane, fly to another country, and shoot him! Okay, not really...I don't like to fly. I'll wait til he comes home. Talking to him online is so fun though. Okay, fun isn't the right word. Enjoyable and comforting. Its MUCH easier to deal with him online. I can hide behind the computer, build my little wall. Yes, I know he can see thru it completely...but its what works best for ME.

David's Friends had a BBQ at Pastor's house tonight. There were SO many people there! Go us! SO many people = 14. Apparently all is better in Erob's love life, his GF (that lives 5 hours away) was there. Red was also there. I could go on & on about him...to annoy Jo, but I won't.

I thought Dad had softball tomorrow night, but he doesn't...so I think I'll be working LATE, staying in the city, and all that not exciting stuff. I need to work late...I need $$$! I have barely worked extra last week and this week!

It was nice to have a heart to heart with some people that can relate to the emotional junk I'm going thru regarding this ST situation. I wish I could be OVER it by now, but I can't. Do I ever think I'll be over it? Someday. Some days are better then others. I WILL come out of this junk stronger then ever before. Its all a learning lesson. What I do know (and amazingly, ST agreed with me tonight), ST is a great guy, but out there somewhere, there is someone GREATER for me!

Okay, the more I think about all that emotional junk, I'm getting just, emotional.

American Idol...I voted for Bo. I really didn't care who won. I like them both equally. I just don't want Carrie to be turned into some pop singer, she's a country chick.

I'm going to take my sick, overtired, (which is probably part of the emotions) butt to bed and read my "Never Alone" book.

I hate feeling like I can't blog in MY blog about what I want to. I hate that I'm letting others, in general, tell me how I should feel. Okay...I said I was over tired, that's getting obvouis now. Goodnight.

T out.