Away With My Heart

My last load of laundry for tonight is in the washer. I'm only leaving 1 load not touched. Dad had the dryer fixed right before I left for David's Friends. The washer has been being stupid too, but all is well. The washer/dryer are only as old as this house (just shy of 6 years). They shouldn't be breaking yet!

Mom is doing okay. She's being SUPER clingy. She keeps calling me to come downstairs, for every LITTLE thing. My Dad is right there, but she's mad at him or something silly. As I said, her nurse and PT were here today. Her occupational therapist will be here tomorrow. Then, I believe, she'll be on a rotation where 1 of them is here EVERY DAY for the next 90 days.

I've been telling myself for the past few weeks that if money problems are all I have in life, then I'm doing good. I'm almost seeing light at the end of the tunnel...coming this Friday and then really next Friday...but until then...who needs food, or gas, or medication. I'll live to talk about it. Whiny, I am.

During David's Friends tonight, my table was Thick, Red, and myself. Thick & I were both taking notes and stuff. I kept laughing at myself. I know I can't spell. I went to write S-A-T-A-N and I spelled it S-A-T-I-N. It took me like 5 minutes of looking at my notebook to figure out what my mistake was, but I knew SOMETHING was wrong. Worse part, Thick leans in and says..."How do you spell Satan?"

I've been trying VERY hard, putting an effort forward to make sure I give God control of everything and this His time, His plan gig. I just hate feeling out of control. Right now, something is just outside of my grasps, and I know God's got it all figured out for me...but right now, I just need some patience.

Sometimes I really enjoy looking back at my own life. I've always been a person to live life with as few regrets as possible. Honestly, there isn't anything that I really regret, because everything has lead me to where I am. Back mid-October 2004, I decided one (Wednesday, I think) night, that NO MATTER WHAT, I would be at Church on the coming Sunday. At the time, when I made that commitment to myself, and to God, I didn't know where or with whom I would go to Church. I just knew a Church family was something I was missing, and had ran from long enough. Now, I realize that wake up call from God, was all in his plan. That Saturday was the day ST broke up with me. I was at Church the next morning (and I believe, I've only missed 2 Sundays since) God's so awesome. I don't want to know where I'd be without Him the past 9 months. The friends I've made thru Church, the relationship I have with God, and all the extra family I've gained...as much as I've cried, whined, and longed for ST...looking back, I wouldn't change anything! I do believe that my crying, missing, whining about ST days aren't over, but its a lot easier when I can see things happen for reasons. So, whoever's job it is to kick my butt when I whine/cry over ST...show me this paragraph.

I'm trying to not post a whole lot about stuff regarding Red, because I'm guarded. A whole lot of stuff...detail stuff...not the he's so cute stuff. Will I ever let my guard down? I'm guarded towards him, I'm guarding regarding him. In case all my beloved readers have forgot...Red's so darn cute. He gets cuter each time I see him, each time I talk to him. Part of me hates being this giddy about him.

Enough already.

T out.