Lose Control

I haven't mentioned it lately...but...

Red's so darn cute!

I enjoy myself so much, when I'm with him, doing nothing or something. He makes me laugh, smile, and I'm just so comfortable around him.

Red's so darn cute!

My family is bugging me. What happens with Red & I, is what happens. I'm cool with things. God's time, God's plan.

Red's so darn cute!

I do have to say, I adore his family (I know I say that often). I'm so comfortable around his family, which is such a great feeling. To be carefree, to be ME, to not worry about offending someone, etc is just so cool.

Red's so darn cute!

Now...back to my needing to be loved, in love headache. As much as I want that, I realized the other night what MY issue is. I figured out what MY issue is, solving it will be easier (I pray!). Back in October when ST dumped me, I was 100% BLINDSIDED! I thought I had was in a mutually happy healthy lovely dovey relationship. Everything was GREAT (with the 1 major exception, but that had been a problem the majority of the relationship and I had gotten used to it)...or so I thought. My head that is ready to date again is scared to fall in love again and be in a happy relationship. When I was in shitty relationships things were always rocky, so it wasn't a big deal...but in such an awesome relationship when I got blindsided like no other, part of my head doesn't want a happy relationship, because then I can't be blindsided and hurt...but the other part of my brain knows that I need, deserve, and will find a happy loving relationship again, (be it with Red, Joe Moe on the street corner, or Bubba). Need...not like I won't survive without it, but need as in everyone needs to be needed. I'm glad I make sense in my head.

Red's so darn cute!

Have I mentioned I don't anything I really have to do right now? Its SO cool!

Red's so darn cute!

Jo & I have been invited to play in a softball tourney with our old Church. I'm so geek! I haven't played Co-Ed ball since I was much much much younger and that was just so my Dad's team wouldn't have to forfit. Nervous but excited, the story of my life.

Red's so darn cute! (Yes, I say things over and over and over and over to bug Jo. Love ya!)

Peace, love, and nap time to all!