Will You Be OK

My other home...

TheSpazSays (Its cool...LOTS of pictures...even of ME)

I'm trying to decide if I like Blogger or Xanga better. Xanga is cool, cause its been a breeze for me to add lots of pictures. After my free premium version trial is up, then I'll make a decision...in the mean time, I'm be jumping back & forth. I like pictures!

Anyone know how to make a 51 year old listen when she has the mental capacity & attention span of a 4 year old who is way past due on sleep? We have good days and bad days in this house. For the majority Mom has been doing pretty well since her surgery in mid-July. I pray this bad spree only last a day. I can't imagine a month or so like we had in May. Then again, I live in the real world, unlike Dad who lives in denial. I know, this is only the start! Dad says he's NOT in denial, he's just full of hope & faith. The problem with his logic is, I'm full of hope & faith to, but you can't avoid what is happening in front of our eyes. Of course, I pray that God places his hand on my Mom & takes away everything that is wrong with her, I know He has the power to do that, if its His will. Of course, I thank God all the time for giving me & my family the strength physically & emotionally to deal with Mom's issues.

10 days until I go to the Red Wings game!!!!!!!!!!! Excited is an UNDERSTATEMENT!! Its gonna be SO fun! I wish I knew, for 100% sure, that I had the day after off. Yes, I took the day AFTER, not the day OF, off work! Hmm. I really should look and see how many more vacation days I have to use by the end of the year.

I just thought about it, today (not date wise, but it was the 4th Saturday in October) is the anniversary of ST & I breaking up. The anniversary where I felt like I would die & never live again. Boy oh boy...what an interesting year! Do I miss ST? Yep! Do I love ST? Yep! Am I in love with ST? Nope! Would I change a thing regarding the past year? Nope! Its been a year of crying, laughing, soul searching, and loving myself. I was really bad at remembering important dates in our relationship...I should call him & tell him Happy Anniversary today. I'm a snot sometimes. The other part of this day that sticks on in my mind...it also was the day that I realized my friendship with P was no more. GEEEEE...maybe that was the golden lining to the break up that I never realized. Boy oh boy...I have 2 good reasons I need to go out tonight & celebrate or something...but that's not happening.

I haven't said this in awhile...I miss Red. I miss the cat & mouse game. As small as our David's Friends group is, there always has been like "cliques" within our small group. We are each others clique! At least, I've got Red's older sister. I hate that he has EVERY SINGLE QUALITY I want look for in a male. EVERY SINGLE LITTLE QUALITY. Okay, he's probably pro-life...cause to find a pro-choice, Christian, Republican is almost like asking for a miracle.

Life amazes me. If anyone would have asked me in October of 2000, where I would be in 5 years, my answer probably would have involved being married to ST, being a stay-at-home-Mom, attending a Church where I always felt like an outsider looking in. Where I'm at NOW wouldn't have been NEAR the answer, but I'm content with my life! Often times, we don't understand why God does what He does, or the timing of things. Just rememeber...God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good. Things happen on God's time...NOT ours!

I'm going to be single forever.

Peace, love, & memories to all.