Lucky Love

I flew like a bat out of he*l to get to my softball game on time.  Get there by 17:45 to find out that Red's Oldest Sister told me the wrong time, we have a 19:30 game...NOT 18:00.  So, whatever...come home, eat dinner, & head back to the diamond...to get rained out.  We had some of the nastiest thunderstorms I've seen in a LONG time tonight.  My drive back home was probably in the top 5 of worst rain/thunderstorms I've driven in.  Thankfully, we only have two games starting at 18:00...I hate having to RUSH like I did today.  Also, I believe we only have two games on the same time/days as Dad's team.

My Dad is really on my nerves lately.  The biggest annoying issue of late, has been address as directly as possible (for now).  Actions speak louder than words!  Just ERRRRRR.  He tends to be ungrateful.  He doesn't think before he speaks often.  He doesn't think before he acts often too.  He's BY FAR, the STUPIDEST smart person I know!  Add on he's stubborn, always right, its his way or the highway, the world revolves around him, and he knows everything...and you can see why we are butting heads.(I'm NOT admitting to being a lot like him!)
 
I have ZERO plans for my 3 day weekend.  I don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing.  I am expecting work to be hopping tomorrow....everyone wants to ship everything before a holiday weekend...like the freight is going to move over the long weekend, ha!  I had a birthday party to go to on Saturday, but that has been postponed.  We were keeping JM & TOY for the weekend, but their Dad would rather them do something with him since the birthday party got canceled.

My head is full of randomness.  Stressed, confused, impatient, etc.  Everything will work itself out, I'm sure.  Everything happens for a reason.  While, I'm not depressed lately, I am just very blah.

Friendships, just like all other types of relationships, take WORK.  Work from ALL involved.  With my girl friends especially, I always expect them to put in the effort.  Could explain why I can count my girl friends on one hand.  I came to this realization today, partly because of the email from the old friend & partly with it being Ingrid's last day at work.  I emailed (and got a reply) from the old friend.  I don't see anything coming out of the situation but us exchanging a few emails.  We are at different points in our lives and add on the not pleasant past.  Then there is Ingrid.  I hope Ingrid & I stay friends, but for some reason, I'm not holding my breath.  I'm going to start putting a better effort into my friendships.  I already did 2 things to get the ball rolling.  Actions NOT complaining!  I have a few more things I will take care of in this aspect soon (probably over my long boring weekend).

I stepped SO far outside of my social phobic box today, without panicking (no crying, no vomiting, no shaking, no racing heart).  I was nervous...but it was manageable and didn't consume me all day.  I dealt with things ALL BY MYSELF!  Of course, at one point I had to stop, pray, and get myself together.  I'm SO proud of me.

I feel like I have more to blog about, like I'm holding back.  I'm anxiety ridden right now & I don't know exactly why.  I had to deal with things today that should have sent me over the edge, yet I came out just fine.  Now, its almost (past!) bedtime...and I'm getting that PANIC feeling.  YUCK!  Go away, you aren't welcome here!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!