I Can Only Love You Like A Man

My major mental breakdown is over, for now.  I'll take what I can get.  I'm still not in a great happy place...but I'm MUCH better than I was!!!!!!!!!!

I seriously have NO idea what I would do without SML!  He's the only person that I feel comfortable calling when I'm in the middle of a huge breakdown.  He lets me scream & cry, he listens.  I know he won't judge me & I know he won't tell me to just "snap out of it".  There are a couple of others I know I could call, but I guess he's the one I'm the most comfortable with & I trust him.

Apparently, I'm not hanging out with ST while he's in town.  I haven't heard from him since Tuesday.  So, at this point it means I'm sitting home tonight...reading & watching the Tigers game.  From the girl that is TRYING to find the good in everything...I'll save $$ by staying home.

I paid off my bridesmaid dress for J & Shell's wedding yesterday.  What a shock, they have to take it in...in the chest.  The lady claims it fits great everywhere else.  Good thing I don't need to eat, breathe, walk, sit, talk, or dance that night.  Right under my chest (on my rib cage basically) its TIGHT as hell!!!!!  But I guess that's a "perfect fit."  So, anyone know how to drop inches from my rib cage?  We shall see what happens when I go for my first fitting on 07/18.  The color of the dress is much prettier than I thought it would be.  Shell says its royal blue...to me its like purple/blue (I'll use the term sonic blue, the color of Shell's mustang).  Now...the dress.  I don't like it.  Of course, its not my wedding & I don't care.  There were just a lot of other dresses that we tried on that I liked better.  Maybe once its altered I might like it better, but for now, I don't like it.  I look like a whale.  Seriously, I've been coming to realize I'm not as fat as I think I am...and I look like HELL, fat bloody HELL in this dress.  My opinion aside, I'll wear the dress with a smile on my face (and be glad I only have to wear it one day). 

I mentioned a friend (from David's Friends) is 35 weeks pregnant.  Well, I got the invitation today to Thick's baby shower.  I'm disappointed that I can't go!  Its the same day as Shell's wedding shower.  Thick really needs our love & support right now.  I know Thick will understand.  Before anyone suggests I try & do both...they are located about 70 miles apart.  I just tried to go to the website that Thick is registered at...and its says she's not registered.  I tried using her real name & the name she goes by.  Nothing.  Hmmm.

Tomorrow night I'm getting together with my friends from Farmville.  We all used to work together at Meijer.  My army buddy & his (pregnant!) wife are in town.  Yay!!!!  A good time shall be had, I'm sure.  Wonder if the marine buddy will be there.  That would make things more fun.  ;-)  Hehehe.

JM & TOY went home today.  They are such a pleasure to have here.  They make me smile & laugh.  I miss them already.  I've got to figure out when I can visit my baby Jax next.  I haven't seen him since last Friday!

Today, for some reason, on my drive home from work I started missing CJ.  I got teary eyed and everything (I didn't CRY!).  Like I've said before, I'm okay with how things are with us...REALLY.  I guess I'm just lonely or something.  I hate being a girl! 

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!