The Spaz Says

My life is boring! I'll waste you time with a little of this, a little of that, and a whole bunch of nothing!

Saturday, October 04, 2008

I'm sad, lonely, and depressed.  I know part of it is that I'm just PMSing, but there is much more to it then that.  I'm starting to eat worse then ever.  I'm in the worst shape of my life, but close to the skinniest.  I had gotten in such GREAT shape, then my health went to hell and I couldn't even get out of bed basically for 3 months.  I'm poorer then ever before.  I know this shall pass, but right now it SUCKS.

The lonely thing really gets me sometimes.  REALLY GETS ME.  This time of year, Fall, is my favorite.  I HATE being single this time of year more then any other time.  More then the holidays, I think. 

Besides that the fact that this time of year drives me crazy being single, the fact that I am surrounded by happy couples ALL The time (most of them married w/ children) doesn't make things any better.  My two single friends that I hang out with the most live a decent distance away.  Plus, while they are single, they hate it more then me and feel like they NEED a man, and will settle for anything and jump into any relationship.  That's just NOT me.  Of course, I hang out with my friend often, since he's single and lives close but that's not always the healthiest thing and doens't get me any closer to finding Mr. Right (lets not get into the fact that 99% of the time, I think my friend is Mr Right...but whatever)

I just feel like nothing is going how I want it.  Maybe that's because God's in control, not me. 

I decided that tomorrow, I am going to start walking EVERYDAY.  Even if only to the end of my street.  Maybe, I'll start trying to do some tae-bo also.  I've got to do something.

Depression SUCKS.

I feel like someone is taking advantage of me.  Its only happened twice...the first time, I didn't thing much of it, but now, after the second time...I see it clearly.  Let me tell you, it will NOT happen again.  The bad part, this person is a member of my family!

Hopefully Church will help my attitude problem tomorrow.

God is love!

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