Last Kiss

Its now Wednesday and I have NO plans for the weekend. Well, nothing set in stone. Shell hasn't decided if she's going up north or not. Once she figures that out, (if she's not going) I'm sure we will do something on Friday night and/or Saturday. ST has a wedding to go to on Saturday. Sunday, well there is hockey but ST's parents are going so I probably won't go. Also my Mom wants me to help with some Halloween thing at their church on Sunday afternoon. I really don't want to. I don't like their church. I just don't feel "right" there. I actually feel quite unwelcome. My family has some friends from church. I like all of them. Its the other 100+ people that just bother me. That's what happens when you attend a church of 50 people from age 10-19.

I miss my small church. I miss church in general. My relationship with God is good but I miss the church. I miss Pastor M, his boys, the cute old people, my tiny but FUN youth group, and the little kids which I'm sure aren't so little any more. I haven't been there regularly in 5 years now. That place was my life. When I was at my lowest of lows, it was the family I had there that let me know everything would be okay. It was there, with my church family, that so many great events of my life happen. **Do Dis** That says it all. I miss those boys so much. The 3 stooges as I always called them. Wonder what they are up to now? Hopefully they all have their lives together much more then when we went our separate ways. Pastor M has had the greatest impact on my life. If I'm ever in a situation where I just get 1 phone call, he's the man. I've looked (not that much, I'll admit) for a church. No luck. I could go back to my little church, but it won't be the same...plus its not the most convently located place. On any given Sunday it would take 30+ minutes from ST's place or 60+ from my parents house. I miss church being 5 miles/10 minutes down the road. Okay, I am going to church this weekend. Don't know where yet, but Sunday morning I'm doing the church gig.

Since I'm sure inquiring minds want to know. Yes, ST has a wedding to go to this weekend. No, I'm not going. No, its not someone in his family. Remember what works for one relationship doesn't mean it works for all relationships. We're happy, in love, and our relationship works for US. Wow, I sound defensive. Maybe cause I've had enough of everyone belittling and disrepecting my relationship.