Yeah

I'm going to have rough days, where I'm sad, aggrovated, depressed, etc. Its okay. It will pass. I know this, have been dealing with things SO well all around. In general, I'm pretty skipping happy with all aspects of my life. The timing of this little depression rut just sucks ass. What happened to T the bad ass? I have let myself opened up to ST again, and he can't be there for me today and its killing me. WTF. I know and totally understand he's busy. He has a life that isn't 100% me. (He's working for those inquiring minds.) I went thru 2.5 months of not having ST to turn to, having rough days within myself, having rough days with my mom. WTF is wrong with me today? Why can't I just deal with this myself? Maybe cause my parents won't let me sleep. Jo & I are going to Church tomorrow, hopefully that will do something for this awful mood of mine.

Jo & I went into town. Got Mom some paints, she's so excited. Then we had dinner at Applebee's. Yes, I'm totally sick of that place. No, there is no where else to eat in town unless you want fast food. We made friends there. Dan and Keirsten were funny. They were sitting at the table next to us, and were just fun.

I did scrap 1 page tonight. My head/heart just isn't in it right now. I need to be in a decent mood and let me remind you, I'm not.

ERRRRRRRRRRRR. I don't want to be so moody. I don't want to be sad at ST. I just want to spend time with him. I frick want to be held and cuddled and have my forehead kissed good morning without an alarm clock blaring! I just want my Mom to sleep some. I just want a million dollars. If I had a million dollars I would be in somewhere warmer.

I said I wasn't going to bug ST at all. Ha! I just wish we were near the same level. I wish I didn't feel like I was bugging him all the time. I wish he could understand how important he is to me. I wish I didn't feel like our communication sucked. With time T. Patients.

Peace, love, and mood swings to all. Remember the sun will come out tomorrow and Jesus loves you.