Lifetimes

I'm debating internally right now, on whether to take some good drugs to help me sleep tonight. The quality sleep I'm getting is starting to effect me greatly. I know the things I have to do to keep myself as sane and stable as possible and good quality sleep is one of them. My Mom, who I'm happy to report is basically in this world right now, suggested to me, and my Dad agreed (to know my Dad, is to know he's not always supportive or understanding of my & my Mom's mental health issues) that taking something to get a good nights sleep who probably be a good idea. I just don't know. Overall, I've been doing *so* well without any medication, I hate to feel like I'm going backwards. I could count on 1 hand how many times this year, I've taken my sleeping pills. I know my mental health is a real problem, its not something to be ashamed of, parts of it aren't in my control, its okay to seek help when needed. I can't believe I'm spending this much time thinking about taking a sleeping pill. Since I haven't taken them in so long, I'm slightly concerned with how it will effect me.

The gig with Mom's family was okay, at best. My mood was out of control. Thankfully, someone suggested I take the kids (4 little cousins...all boys, ages 2, 5, 6, & 9) to the game room. I was a totally different person when I had my little cousins. They all just make me smile and forget my problems, whatever they are.

I'm looking foward to work tomorrow. I don't know why, but since my weekend wasn't the best, maybe this week will be better then my weekend was. I'll be turning in my application for 2nd job at the fun place, on Tuesday. I'm kinda excited about the possiblities with this fun place. Yes, I'm a nerd. I told the drama lady at Church today, that I just can't do it/don't want to do it right now. I'm feeling better now on that front, I don't have to dodge her or anything.

I feel like I have a million mosquito bites right now. Its just my allergies and stress. Its annoying. I'm annoying. Okay, I'm taking that pill now. I need to stop annoying myself.

T out.