Let It Rise

Staying at Gma's the past few days has sucked the life out of me. I don't know why. I can't put my finger on it really...but it has SUCKED THE LIFE OUT OF ME! Until July, I stayed at Gma's when I needed/wanted to. It wasn't that bad then cause I didn't really have a life. Now, I have my friends, my friend, and my family and I can't do as I please, when I please and I don't like it. Between wanting to spend time with my friend and taking care of Gma, I haven't been home in 2.5 weeks. I don't think even when I didn't LIVE there, I was ever gone so long. I KNOW my family & Gma appericate me taking care of Gma. I'm glad I can do it, but I just don't like doing it sometimes. I'm glad my extended family is stepping up to the plate more to help.

I don't miss my family that much. I miss them because they miss me. I don't trust my Dad to handle Mom's medications as well as I do. I guess I should start trusting him. I can't live there forever. Then again, I only need to be there once every 10 days or so...for an hour, to manage medications.

According to My myspace I go to Vegas in 1 month & 24 days. Let me just say WAHOOOO!!!

My friend & I are going out to dinner tonight. Almost, kinda sorta, like a date. He's so sweet & cute. I can't wait to go on vacation with him!! Then again, I love doing everything with him. New things, everyday things, boring things, silly things. Its always an adventure. New Year's Day, my feelings for him, about him, really started to overwhelm me. I tend to be a wall builder. I don't like people getting close to me. I was praying lots that day for God to help me put bricks back up. I don't really want to put walls up, but I don't want to get hurt. I don't see that happening at all though. Maybe we should just get married in Vegas, ride off into the sunset & live happily ever after. Actually, that's not that crazy of an idea.

God is love!