The Difference

I'm struggling. I'm struggling with life. Just blah. I'd like to blame 99% of my mental struggles right now on PMS...but I don't know.

I haven't been to Church in about a month (once cause of vacation, once because of weather, and then just laziness) and I don't want to go today. I KNOW that means I need to go...but I don't want to.

I've got a busy day. Lots of time in a car, which is dangerous because it gives me time to think & let things spew and get crazy within my brain. I've got Church from 11:45 til about 13:00, then I have to go to Gma's and go shopping (while doing Gma's shopping, get Dad a birthday present for a birthday that was 2 days ago), head out to my parents house to go out to dinner for Dad's birthday. Then I don't know what I'm doing. I've got options at that point. In theory, I'm packing up lots of my scrapbooking stuff to bring here & maybe more clothes. Then driving back. My other option is to just stay the night at my parents and drive my 60 miles to work in the morning. That's the best thing about not being at my parents...THE DRIVES!

I have to rememeber relationships can't be roses ALL the time. In my opinion, anyone who says they can be...is LYING! Things aren't bad by any means, just a learning, trusting, and growing process. There are a few issues going on. The number one issue is...Shhhhh! Don't tell. I'm commitment-phobic. Wait...that probably wasn't a big secret.

God is love!