Wasted

What a difference a day makes!

I'm still heartbroken & devistated about little Baby O, but I'm trying to deal with that.

I spent a good deal of time texting with friends last night. Time after time, they are the rocks that keep me together. When I think they are all gone, they're not. I need to remember that. I hate that I see a need to remind myself who my real friends are!!! I HATE that people let relationships get in the way of friendships...especially when the friend is in need of a FRIEND. I wish I could just let go of this friend, but I can't. I also hate that some of my friends live SO far away. Kings Island opens when again?

Then last night, I exploded on my friend. Its been a long time coming. I tried to talk about small things at least 2 different times and got no where. So, last night I was at my limit with everything in life. It was a HUGE crying session from me, and then us talking. We did a good job of each talking/listening, never interupting or yelling. I hate that I feel like I have to make a huge spectacle out of things to get his attention. Hopefully, the problems are behind us.

I won tickets to the theatre today. I'm not sure how many, what date exactly, or what the show is exactly...but a free show downtown is cool!

I know life isn't always going to be roses, but its starting to look better...for now. I hope. I'm just SAD about Little Baby O and I'm allowed to be sad. I'm allowed to hurt for my friends. Its so hard to be joyful for Baby V while grieving over Baby O. 3.5 weeks isn't long enough. There should be like a 40 year minimum to get out of this world.

God is love!