On The Verge

I'm trying to make sense of this ST situation. Yes, 2.5 weeks later I'm still making sense of it. I'll probably be commenting one way or another about the situation for the next year, so deal with it. How was I was blind? Oh wait, love is blind. How does someone go from being in love with me to not wanting to talk to me? He doesn't trust me. But, hell he just trusted me for the past 1.5 years, no questions asked and when things are going good (or so I truly believed!) BAM I'm not trusted anymore. I just don't understand and can't believe that is his only reason. A relationship takes 2 people. As much as I'd like to blame ST completely, somehow I know the failure of our relationship isn't all his fault. Where did WE go wrong? Normally I would say, how can WE fix this? But, I don't know/think that will happen this time, as heartbreaking as it is.

Right now, I feel like I'm going to be alone forever. No one will ever understand me, love me, care for me the way ST did. No one is as perfect in my eyes as he is. Let's not even bring up the idea of me dating anyone but ST to my family. ST is beyond perfect to every single member of my family. They seriously love him, some love him more then they love me I think.

Its day 6 of Mom's bad spell. Everyone at my house is exhausted, stressed, and flat out crabby. We are all getting shorter on patients as every awake moment of Mom's ticks by. Not that any of us has a lot of patients to begin with. Grandma came out yesterday morning. She'll probably be there until Friday afternoon. I'm so grateful for her help! JJ called yesterday and got all rude to Jo cause Mom isn't doing good and she didn't know. Well, if JJ could pull her head out of her ass for more then 2 minutes she would know that Mom has these spells often. Yes, they suck, yes they are bad. They are part of Mom now and we just have to learn to deal with them. JJ pulling her head out of her ass would be like asking for a miracle.

Interesting happening here at the office today. I just had to wake someone up. Thankfully dealing with her sleeping on the job is Jess' problem. Jess is taking an early/long lunch today, so that means I get to do all afternoon reports/printing. I'll be busy. Busy = Good. Time flies.

Less than 37 hours to my birthday!