Whiskey Lullaby

Today is better then yesterday, but not great. I know I will snap out of this. I really hate spending my weekends depressed. I really hate being depressed at any time, but seriously the weekends are meant for me to relax and get stuff done at my leasure. When I spend a weekend depressed, I get 100% of nothing done. I managed to scrap 1 (one) page yesterday and go to Church this morning. That's the extent of it. No mad scrapping, no cleaning my room, no doing laundry, no having fun, no hair cut. Nothing. I won't beat myself up over what I did/didn't do this weekend. I just want to *snap* out of this now. Maybe if I didn't feel trapped in this house, I wouldn't feel so bad. I'm looking forward to work tomorrow just so I can be gone from home.

I'm sick of fighting with Jo on Sunday mornings to get up and go to Church. Seriously, its not that early, plus we almost always take a nap afterwards. I cried thru most of the Church service today. I had to leave once to calm myself down for a minute or 2. There is just so much going on with Mom right now, that unless you are myself, Jo, or Dad you just DO NOT understand. Don't pretend you do. My (least favorite) Aunt wants to come stay a few days to help us out. For starters, she'll be more of a burden then a help. She has *oh so many* problems of her own. Don't forget that she's seriously one of the meanest and rudest people (continously!) that I have ever had to deal with.

I wish I was more secure within myself, about the current happens with ST and I. It would make he working and being distant this weekend, much easier to deal with. ERRRRRRR. T, it will all be okay, stop making things worse in your head then they really are. It all goes back to I want to be cuddled, and hugged, and kissed good morning on my forehead.

Off to do something besides pout at the computer.

Peace, love, and blah blah blah to all.