Hanging Tough

Counseling went much better yesterday then I thought it was going to. It was weird, Laura had many of the exact same thoughts/questions I did on the ST situation. Normally, I leave Laura's office and THEN the light bulb in my head goes off...but yesterday from the moment I said that ST & I broke up, we were on the same page.

I had a decent day yesterday. I realized that I don't NEED ST. I want him badly, but I don't NEED him. I fought all kinds of temptation and didn't call him yesterday. I went to sleep by 7:30PM to help resist the urge. I woke up 2 times before 9:30PM and forced myself back to sleep, other wise I would want to call him.

Interesting thing happened this morning. I got out of the shower, see that I have 1 missed call but no voicemail. It was ST. I figure I'll call him back when I get in the car, which will give us about 10-15 minutes before he arrives at work, but I doubt we will talk that long. Well, I'm getting dressed and the phone rings. Its ST again. I answer and tell him that I'll call him as soon as I'm in my car. I don't know what to think about him calling. I'm confused by it really. Of course, I call back like I say I will. (Note: I hate people that don't call when they say they will!) We talked for about 5 minutes and it wasn't super strained, but it definitely wasn't the normal lovey dovey smart aleck conversation either.

I hate being at work right now. Mom isn't having a good day, but terrible but NOT good. Grandma is there thankfully, but I still would rather be there. Mom is very spaced out, heck, she didn't even remember loaning me $7 this morning.

Today, I have an evening planned with my washer and dryer. I have no idea what the weekend will hold, so I better get all my laundry done today. Yipppee! I love doing laundry. Its going to be a late night.

I miss him, I love him, and I want him.