Breakdown

Wow, I have a very fitting title for once.

So, I'm not going to Church. I'm EXTREMELY NOT HAPPY ABOUT NOT GOING. I believe Dad, Jo, JM, & TOY are still going. If they aren't, and I don't get to go...I'm going to be LIVID!! Sometimes, I feel like telling my Mom to toughen the hell up, suck it up, etc. I know she hurts often, I know she's in pain often, I know she doesn't feel good often, I know she has mental issues that make her want to stay in her room and hide. BUT seriously...sometimes you have to fight thru that stuff. There is only 1 day a week where I want her to get out of the house and do something, 1 day a week that it is really important to me, so that my entire household can go to Church...yet, I can count on 1 hand, how many times that has happened in the past 18 months.

I just sent a friend a text message that said something along the lines of "I need to move 500 miles away before I kill myself, because this house is killing me painfully & slowly." That sums up how I feel right now.

I'm trying like hell to be flexible when my routines get messed up right now but just ERRRRRRR. The stuff going on is more then just throwing my routines off, its making me stop living I feel like. I hate feeling like I'm in a catch 22.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!