I openly admit many things about myself. I have no problem seeing my faults but there is little that I care to do to change them...plus part of my "issues" I think are part of my anxiety/depression/bi-polar problems that no meds or counseling or doc has been able to help yet.
One of those issues is I am VERY EASILY annoyed by things/people.
Things that EASILY annoy me, in no special order...
* Lateness
* Things that work slow (like the guide on the TV)
* Rudeness
* Judgemental people
* Insulting others (goes hand in hand usually with rudeness & judging)
* Wasting time (see that part about lateness & being slow)
* Liars
All of those things have been getting in my way today. Not good!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cool thing happened last night. I got a new toy. I haven't seen it in person yet, I should tomorrow. It should be in my possession until next Sunday afternoon. We got a trailer! A camper. A travel trailer. Whatever you want to call it. Its used but new to us. 2004 27ft of camping goodness! I can't wait to use it!
Tomorrow is the start of VACATION! We aren't going anywhere that cool. Just to Traverse City for the week. Golfing, eating out, exploring, and relaxing! Quality time with husband is much needed!
And the best news of late...BEST NEWS I tell you. Do you know what BEST means? And no, it doesn't involve me & babies. My cousin who has been missing (runaway) since 2002 is FINALLY found & communicating with me (and some other family members). My cousin was the oldest of 3. His brother ET (my favorite cousin!!!) died in 1995. Tim went MIA in 2002, his sister Trin, my frisin, died in 2006. Well, now he's found! We have been emailing each other. He has talked to his mom on the phone twice. You have NO IDEA how sweet this is. I always had reason to believe he was alive but never knew for sure. A few weeks ago, I found something online that had him alive as recent as Feb 2010. The info I found this time, I shared with my favorite Aunt, Jo, and Dad. Dad shared it with jerkball Gpaw. Favorite Aunt shared it with Tim's mom (other Aunt). Well, now we are in contact. NEVER GIVE UP!
God is love!
I often (so far, since I'm kid-less and NOT pregnant) keep my thoughts about such matters to myself (and a few select family/friends) but THIS
article just ERRRRRRRRRRRRR!
The headline is C-Sections More Common at For-Profit Hospitals
DUH! IDIOTS!
That's all.
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!
I wish they sold thicker skin at a store because I need some!
Between people just being mean and hurtful because they are jerks and stupid comments about me sucking as a person because I'm not pregnant yet, I'm at my wits end so often.
Don't have time to write more.
God is love.
Grab a cup of coffee and a snack before you sit down to read this post...I can tell its going to be a long one.
TOY, my hilarious 12 year old nephew is in the hospital as I type. He was bitten by a brown recluse spider (or something very similar since they say we don't have those in Michigan). The bite is on his forearm and the infection or whatever its call is up to his armpit. The meds they have him on right now have made him unable to walk/stand. If things stay the way they are/improve, surgery won't be needed. We should know in the next 16 hours.
Today (kinda today...kinda Sept 5) is a sad sad sad day. My cousin/friend (the one who I made the frisin term for) would be celebrating her birthday today...instead we are facing the 4th anniversary of her death. (Some say she died today, some say 9/5 when my aunt found her body). Another reminder why drugs are BAD. Its never been made clear to me if (WHAT DRUG) she overdosed on and why some say it was a planned overdose/suicide. It breaks my heart to think the last time I saw her, she was in my bathroom doing crystal meth & we were fighting tooth & nail. I do find peace knowing our last telephone conversation (a few days before she died) was happy & positive. When I think about where my life was at, during this time...its amazingly strange how much has changed! Shell & J weren't married, I hadn't dated my friend (and that whole situation!), and I barely knew of my husband. My Grandma was GRAVELY ill when my cousin died. I remember when I first talked to a good friend of mine, she thought for sure, I was so upset cause Gma died. Gma was doing so bad she didn't even attend cousin's funeral. To see where my Gma is four years later...its amazing. 81 years old & doing good. Gma is my living proof that God heals & does miracles.
Today (not the date, but the fact that its Friday of Labor Day weekend) is a special day. It marks the anniversary of my & husband's first date. I can't believe how much my life has changed, I can't believe I am MARRIED. If you would have asked me 365 days ago if I thought I'd be married to my husband today, I would have laughed. I wouldn't have said I wouldn't be married...but NEVER would have imagined who I am married too. I'm so glad God is in control and knows what He is doing. His timing is amazing. God gave me exactly WHO I needed, and WHEN I needed it. I couldn't ask for more in my husband. We are going to golf with Church tonight then out to dinner at the place we first went. I'm excited.
I stopped seeing my counselor in mid July for various reasons, mainly because the doctor there refused to listen to me. My husband finally asked me about it today, I'm glad the air is clear on this subject. I think (I know!) I need counseling and meds...but the current situation wasn't working, so that's life for now.
Lately I've REALLY been struggling on where I fit on this planet. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I don't fit in with single people, I don't fit in with married people (since most have kids), I don't fit in with a lot of people because of my Christian views, I don't fit in with people because I'm uptight, unfriendly, and guarded. My husband doesn't get my feeling like I don't fit in and more then that, he doesn't get my need to have friends or whatever. My old friends live to far for me to do stuff with them these days. Husband sees people every day while working, he sees people/friends while golfing & bowling....I don't have that, and I need friends. Because I feel SO MUCH like I don't fit in anywhere these days, all I want to do is stay home. A friend of sorts wants me to do a girls night with her and her friends next friday. I do NOT want to go at all...I feel like she asked because my husband told her to. Seriously, I have ZERO friends I would call to hang out with EVER. ZERO. I have a VERY VERY VERY select few that I can text with problems or randomness. I am just walking around lost lately. I've got God & husband holding me up to keep me alive.
God is love.
