A few (probably 4) years ago, while at my grandparents' house, we came across a journal my Grandfather wrote when he was in 2nd grade (that would be about 1940).  I had a blast reading that journal to everyone!  I was CRYING I was laughing so hard.  It was so cute.  Everyone enjoyed it, but no one as much as me!  My Grandma wanted to keep the journal for a while so she could show it to my cousins and others but told me I could have it.  I better get that journal some day!  In the journal, he talks about selling lollipops at school and how much money he'll make if he makes no mistakes and about buying war bonds or stamps or something like that.

I've been into photos my entire life.  I used to torture my cousin Trin (miss you!) and make her look at all my pictures every time she came over.  My nephews KNOW that if Aunt T is around, pictures will be taken.  They've grown used to it and don't complain that much.  Amazingly, in the past month they LOVE that Aunt T has a million pictures of them.  TOY and JM have joined the myspace cult (not that I agree with it, but I'm not their parents...but I DO play myspace police as much as I can for them!)  and now all my pictures are SO cool.  Last night, I was at their house for a campfire and stuff and both JM and TOY were posing left and right.  They haven't posed for me in a good five years! 

I've been into scrapbooking for about four years now.  I don't do it as often as I'd like but I just never have the space!  I LOVE it.  I am continously reading/browsing magazines and books on the subject.  As a single, child-free adult, scrapbooking almost gets sad.  Don't get me wrong, I adore my nephews and family and scrap them PLENTY and have enough of my own friends and activities to scrap...but 99% of scrapbook related stuff has to do with children and weddings, in my opinion.  I am currently reading The Creative Memories Way, I use some of their products and love their quality but I'm not a LOYAL CM scrapper.  While reading the book (I'm not even 20 pages in) and I want to throw the book against the wall and never touch anything CM again.  I know that most of their customers (and probably target audience) are mothers.  The book is spewing crap about how you need to make keepsake albums for your children, how you need to build your child's self esteem by creating keepsake albums, how you need to put your wedding pictures of you & groom smashing cake in each others mounth in albums.  UGH.  What about those of us that are NOT married and don't have kids?!  Am I not "allowed" to make keepsake albums because I don't have children to pass them down to?  I probably will never have the great grandkids that the book talks about. 

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

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I hate that I am such an emotional person.  I can't believe I find myself crying over POLITICAL stuff this week!  I'm officially off my rocker!

God is love!

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This weekend marks the End of Summer.  I don't know WHY Labor Day weekend is the end of summer...but it is, at least, as far as fun exciting summer events and such.  I just got a little silly emotional, because its the end of another summer where I haven't found the love of my life to go camping with.  LOL.  I realize how strange that may sound but camping is so relaxing (which I struggle with majorly!) and just a nice way of spending time with people.

Earlier in the day, while relaxing with my friend (and I was RELAXING which again, I STRUGGLE with!) I was thinking about random things.  I was thinking about how one time, I was dating this guy and he brought windshield washer fluid to me at work.  Now MANY years later, that event still makes me smile  Its the SIMPLE things that matter the most.

I'm trying to figure out who I can and can't trust lately out of people I view as GOOD friends.  I trust these people but I am starting to think I am trusting to much!  I found myself saying today "I love/hate my friends and that just doesn't seem right!".

I wish I could put into words how much I'm struggling with this being single gig lately.  I know I shouldn't be...but I am.  WORSE THEN EVER BEFORE.  It consumes my thoughts, actions, and tears more often then not lately.  For a little bit, I was having issues because I am jealous of some of my friends that seem to have it all!  And one of them did remind me this past weekend "T, don't dare think I don't miss the single child-free life now and then!".  My newest issue is...in my opinion, I'm a fairly decent catch and yet I'm SINGLE.  Whatever.

I was going to a wedding tonight with Jo, but that has changed.  Jo now has to work.  While just AHHHHHHHH about the situation I am proud of Jo for getting a job.  Who would have ever thought that I would be the one of my parents children without a job!  UGH!

God is love!

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I've always been a NIGHT owl that has sleep issues.  Since mid-April, the problem has done nothing but get worse.  Yesterday, I was EXHAUSTED after taking Jax to the zoo (and only had 5 hours of broken sleep the night before) and still didn't go to bed til about 6AM.  YUCK!

My friend came over yesterday to do work on my computer.  Hopefully all is well in the world of my computer!!!

I am a little stressed financially (its amazing when you think you are financially stressed at one point in your life, then other things happen and you realize things can be worse!)  but I am amazed with my calmness about it.  God is faithful and provides for my NEEDS.

I am going to get my haircut today but a friend's daughter.  I am EXCITED.  I've seen this girls work and trust her more then I have any other hair chick before.  Plus, the price is right and its close enough that I can walk or bike there!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is GOOD!

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I need to remember I'm NOT the same person I was 5 months ago.  My health issues even when under control only take a little bit of not following the rules to get OUT of control!  Hell, even when I follow all the rules there is NO promise that I will stay in remission.  I hate using the word remission, because to me that screams cancer, but that is the word that the medical field uses.  I HATE not being to able to do everything I want whenever I want. 

I might go to the Detroit Zoo with JJ and Jax tomorrow.  I want to but...yeah.

I have been thinking about my friends lately.  Sometimes I get sad that I don't have ONE clear cut and dry BEST FRIENDSHIP.  I had ONE for YEARS and at the end, I made a clear choice to END the friendship.  I don't miss this person AT ALL but I miss the friendship sometimes.  Then I realize I have GREAT friendships with MANY people and my friends ROCK!!  If I had to pick just ONE person to classify as MY best friend, this is such a hard task.  Taking my family members out of the chosing, at this point in my life, I would say ST would be the man.  ST and I have been thru it all, to hell and back with each other.  Its been almost 10 years since we met (October 9, 1998) and I can't imagine my life without him in it!  We aren't as close as we have been in the past but that's what happens when you live 5 hours apart, have different schedules, friends, and stuff.  We both know, in a heartbeat, in times of need, we've got each others back!  When we broke up for good about 4 years ago, I prayed we would be friends and I've been blessed beyond my wildest dreams!  I could go on and on about how my friends ROCK!  I've been so blessed.  Sometimes I forget that...but I'm glad for the times I remember how GREAT my friends are.  I just hope everyone in the world is blessed with friends as great as mine!

God is love!

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Been BUSY.  Been ill. 

Currently depressed and it just got a whole lot worse!  I don't feel like getting into it now...but just AHHHHHHHHH.

Where is everyone when I need them?  That's right...sleeping.

God is love!

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Today marks a year that my friend and I broke up.  Are things where I want them?  No.  Are things as bad as they were?  Not at all.  This has been a learning experience for sure.  I've grown as a person, become more independant then I thought possible.  I've learned who my real friends are and that they are there for me even when I think they aren't.

Off to eat a candy bar.  LOL.

God is love!

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UGH!!  I was starting to think I was "cured" but I am 100% wrong.  Since Thursday night I haven't been feeling well.  I know I was stressed but this was a lot more then that.  I am sure I didn't make things better by not resting as much as my health/body probably required.  Plus, I've had a headache/runny stuffy nose on and off.  Plus, I know I've got some crazy withdrawal junk going on from a medication that I'm weaning off of.

I've been having crazy dreams lately.  One had to do with me keeping score at TOY's baseball tourney this weekend but I was messing it all up (and to know me, is to know that I am an excellent accure like the pro's type scorekeeper).  Another dream, I don't remember the details now just know that ST was in it.  Another dream, involved CJ.  CJ moved closer to me, was running a landscaping company with big tractors and was doing his firefighter gig too.

God is love!

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God provides.  I've been doing a fairly decent job of remembing that for the past few months.  This week, while remembering that, I was stressed.  I just prayed and prayed.  And of course, God provided!  I had been praying a ton the past two weeks about God providing for my needs (there is a huge difference between needs and wants), literally an hour or more a day in pray.  For me, that's a TON.  At one point this week, when God was slowly starting to answer my prayers, I fell to my knees in my dining room in tears of joy and thankfulness and couldn't praise God enough.  I didn't sleep that well last night and was so glad to awake to my prayers being answered.  God also, thru these few weeks, He also reminded me that I've got awesome family and friends.

My 2 year old nephew Jax has been a matter of concern and disagreements among our family.  JJ thinks he's fine.  My parents, Jo, and I feel he's got problems, possibly autistic.  Now, I am NO WHERE near a doctor but something just doesn't seem RIGHT with Jax and I wish my sister would at least have it looked into, if for nothing else to prove us wrong!  Jo has a medical condition, that she was born with.  At the age of 6 months my parents had Jo in all types of school, therapies, and the such.  EVERYONE will admit that if my parents hadn't been so adament at getting early interventions for Jo, she wouldn't be where she is today!  If there is something wrong with Jax, JJ needs to get moving on it!  I pray I'm wrong.

I am concerned about my friend.  This is a difficult week for him.  I haven't talked to him much this week and he's been short when we do talk.  His birthday is Sunday so hopefully his mood or issues or whatever improve by then.

TOY is playing in a baseball tourney this weekend and its not far from my house.  I'll be heading there tomorrow.  I love 10 year olds!  I went to his game tonight but it was rained out, well more like thundered & lightening out.

God is love!

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