What If

I've always been an (OVERLY!) emotional person. I don't think there is a lot I can do about it, its just how I am.

Right now, I'm all paranoid feeling. I don't know why. I like to say cause I'm a girl...but that has little to do with it.

The thought of driving in the ice/snow mess tomorrow morning makes me want to vomit.

I'm SO clingly on my friend lately. That's not me. I almost CRAVE affection & attention. That's NOT me. I'm normally the "don't touch me" type. Its nice kinda though, because he (for the majority) deals with my need for continous affection.

My brain is on overload.

I've gained 15lbs since mid-Sept. I have little drive and/or motivation to do anything about it right now, other then complain. I'll figure it out soon enough. I need to be able to work out again, and right now that's not an option.

Everything will work itself out, but right now...OVERLOAD.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Ocean Floor

Its been a crazy few days.

Thursday night my 8 month old nephew Jax ended up at the hospital, then transferred to a better hospital. 2 days in the hospital, a huge cast, and some major drugs, he's home. Everyone is physically and mentally drained! His dad was carrying him on his hip down the stairs (so one baby leg was in front and one in back of Jax's dad), well, he slipped & fell. When he fell, Jax's leg that was in back got pinned between hardwood stairs & a 200lb adult. Broken femur for my baby nephew.

I ended up going in to work late on Friday. 2 people from my old department (2 that I KNOW of) were let go. Everyone is still terribly on edge & stressed out there.

Last night my friend and I went to a poker party at his fake sister's house. I went to socialize with his family & keep the kids entertained while the poker was happening downstairs. I'm happy to say that my friend took 2nd place & walked out $250 ahead! YAY!!!!!!!!

Today, we are having a bit of an ice storm, so all our plans changed and we've done nothing. Its been nice!

Vegas in 4 days!

God is love!

My List

I have a pimple on my left temple. It hurts like hell.

25 people got "laid off" at the other adminstation building last week. 12 more people are getting "laid off" this week. We think they will be from the other building again...but we really have no idea. They are now saying my department is overstaffed (which we are a little). I just want it to be Monday already. I don't think I'm in danger...but that means NOTHING.

Today is the beginning of Lent. Dating a Catholic again makes this all interesting. I refuse to cook today (or any Friday during Lent). My friend still hasn't decided what he's doing/giving up for Lent...at least, he hasn't told me yet. Last I heard, the idea was ice cream. To know him, is to know that's a HUGE challange.

I was scheduled to Gma-sit starting tomorrow after work until Monday morning (they wanted me longer...but I'm busy next week). Well, JOY TO THE WORLD! I only have to stay Sunday night!!! WAHOOO!!!

God is love!

Sea Of Faces

A friend of mine said the following in an email yesterday: "Remember...No relationship is 'perfect' in every way. It's about accepting and compromising when possible "

That was in regards to how my friend and I just operate differently...but right now I'm REALLY having to remember that no relationship is perfect.

I view the word MAD similar to the word HATE. They are overused and used in the wrong context more often then not. I try to use words like annoy, irritate, frusterate instead of MAD.

At about 23:30 last night, when my friend followed me into the living room, I was like "I'm MAD, just leave me alone." For me to use the word mad, and still be MAD...yeah. I'm not a happy camper. I was VERY tempted to go home today, as in Farmville USA, my parents house...because I want him to understand how MAD I am. At the same time, I KNOW that would be running from problems and wouldn't solve anything. I've done the running game enough in my life. I don't want to run from this, but I want it to be all pretty roses again. We shall see. My friend will be working a lot this week because his partner is on vacation and I have to Gma-sit the end of the week/weekend, so who knows how much healing will get to happen.

Happy President's Day!

Feel free to take on sad & angry to my madness if you'd like.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

I Want You Back

I'm tired & PMSing. I've been in a great mood this weekend. I just want to go to bed, but laundry MUST get done. Something about must wear clothes to work and PJ's won't cut it.

TOY's birthday gig yesterday turned out okay. None of the pictures are that good though. Game night was our friends was a good time. There were 8 of us. We are trying to figure out a Saturday in March when we can have it here.

The concert thing at Church today was GREAT! My friend went with me and he really enjoyed himself too. I'm always nervous about taking him to Church functions with me because my Church tends to be very contemporary compared to his/most Catholic Church(es).

We did lots of shopping today. It was funny, at Sam's Club (not our normal one) we ran into my friend's parents. Then at Kohl's (one of our 2 normal ones) we ran into my friend's brother & sister-in-law (J & Shell). For all the shopping we did, we have very little to show for it. I did get a nice new warm fuzzy fleece from Kohl's clearance. I should have looked for clothes for me first though, cause I got to tired/crabby to really LOOK/try on clothes. One word of advice: Don't go into Kohl's without a purse and/or coat! We figured since I wasn't paying for anything, leave my purse in the car...since its warm in the store, leave our coats too. Well, at least 3 times I got asked to help people. HELLO...I don't work here!!!!!

God is love!

What Goes Around

When I wake up & get moving, I like to get my stuff DONE, so then I can stop, lay down, relax, whatever.

My friend is NOT like that. He's the type that wants to do one small thing, rest, another small thing, relax, another small thing, lay down. You get the idea.

Its starting to annoy me. It really messes up my system and I can't have that. And when I say system I mean that 2 ways...it messes up my body & sleep schedule and stuff...but ever more important then that, it messes up the way I NEED for things to be done. My OCD type tendancies. I don't see any compromising coming in this arena anytime soon, so I've got to figure out how to deal with it.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Apologies On Napkins

My friend works on computer systems for hospitals, therefore My friend often gets called in the middle of the night for work stuff. Last night when his phone went off for work (sometimes they call, sometimes they text message), I couldn't figure out what the heck was going on. So, he was up for a couple of hours doing work stuff. Then at the butt crack of dawn (before dawn actually), when I was leaving for work, my friend was going on and on about how he was leaving work at 13:00 because he had his hours in, was tired, etc. I was arguing with him that he never leaves before 15:00, WHY was he going to leave at 13:00?! This converstation went on 3 different times, about 2 minutes each time. So, at 13:15 this afternoon, I call him. He's at work. I was like "Thought you were leaving at 13:00?!" He's like "Why would I do that?" Apparently he was sleeping this morning & doesn't recall the converstation. He was leaving at about 15:00.

Tomorrow is TOY's 9th birthday party. His lovely mother didn't call to tell me until today (she assumed everyone else told me which they did...but that's not the point) and she wasn't calling to tell me but more importantly to bring salad. Reminder: My nephews are innocent. Its not their fault their mother is a moron sometimes. She's my sister and I love her but its so hard to like her.

Sunday morning there is a special service/concert happening at the Church I've been attending. I can't wait. I invited Jo & my friend to go with me. For whatever reason Jo can't/doesn't want to. My friend better go or I'm going to be annoyed with the world. I'm not holding my breathe though.

My plans for the weekend shall be pretty interesting. Nothing tonight, tomorrow is TOY's birthday party & then game night with our friends. Sunday is the concert thing at Church. Other then that, LOTS of relaxing.

TGIF!!!!!!!

God is love!

Absolutely Sweet Marie

Life's been such a roller coaster lately.

I can't even began to describe the slap in the face type stuff going down at work. I've been looking on Monster.com, checking the paper, and talking with friends. We shall see. I didn't go into work yesterday. Bad yucky snow plus a REAL bad attitude because I'm getting crapped on equals "sick" day!

I think of things I want to type about, but then by the time I get to one of the real PC's vs my friend's work laptop...I have forgotten.

My friend just couldn't wrap his head around the idea that I really didn't care about Valentine's Day. He made dinner, was overly charming all day, and got me a book & wrote me a letter. I think I might have told him Happy Valentine's Day.

I've got time & a house to myself...I'm going to take a bath, read, and nap.

God is love!

A Better Way

So, I'm not at work today. I'm not sick. Do I feel bad about not going to work today? Not at all. There were circumstances well out of my control that unfolded last night/this morning, that made it not in my best interest to go to work. My friend didn't go to work either. It was a very scary couple of hours. A few good things did come out of it...

I'm home and its SCRAPBOOKING DAY on QVC! While I have NO money to buy anything, its still GREAT to watch!

I talked with my friend's Mom on the phone last night. My friend asked me to call her to update her on things. It was just nice to be able to pick up the phone and call her. I like her, she's kinda strange sometimes...but aren't we all. (To know the stress & mess I went thru with ST's family, is to know how SUPER this is for me!) I think she likes me too. Its just a nice situation!

Last night, at the start of the mess, I made a few phone calls to my friends. I don't know what I needed/wanted...but I needed to know someone/anyone was there.

Friends. I guess, I use that term loosely these days. Out of all my friends, the one that I expected to be there for me always, just isn't lately...and it sucks. I just need to understand that friendships change and people grow up/apart. (See, when P & I stopped being friends, it was more my choice, my terms...this friendship is just falling apart with me having no control.) The fact that 16 hours later, my friend still hasn't called/IM'ed/emailed to see if I'm okay, lets me know where I stand. I know people have lives too...but I'm sorry, if any of my friends/family leave me a voicemail as upset as I was last night...there is no way in hell, that 16 hours would pass without me checking on them.

Friends. I have said it time & time again, people won't understand it...but ST is one of the greatest friends a girl could hope for. I felt bad for burdening ST last night. He's 5 hours away & I'm sure had to feel helpless to have me on the phone basically flipping out. Then I had to cut him short to start dealing with the problems. My friend made sure that I called ST back right away, as soon as things were remotely calm/under control. (No the problem wasn't about my friend & I fighting...life is a little more serious then that) ST was so sweet, because while I was still dealing with the problems at hand, I needed him to know things were better and I was okay. He was like "T, are you SURE you are okay? are you SURE you are going to be okay?" I just love him to pieces. During all my pain of our breakup, if I knew I was going to get such a great friend, it would have made the pain lighter.

Today is TOY's birthday. He's 9. My baby nephew isn't the baby anymore...and he's not my baby anymore either. He's still as sweet & adorable as a baby though.

Super Bowl...the game was great in the 1st quarter, then I started to lose interest. How about the opening kickoff returned for a touchdown? GO Bears! That's a FIRST in Super Bowl history.

The commericals...blah. Not as good as in years past. 2 of my 3 favs were during the 1st commerical break after kickoff.

My top 3 favs...
1) It was Budweiser/Bud Light...Rock Paper Scissor.
2) Doritos (which was right after the Rock Paper Scissor)...about being bold & the chick falls in the street.
3) Another Budweiser/Bud Light one. About how to order Bud in different areas of the country, but if someone asks for your beer...say "No Speak English."

My 3 least favs...
1) Snickers...where the guys are working on a car & end up kissing, because they were eating a snickers bar from both ends.
2) GoDaddy.com, it was just supid for all the hype it got about being racey.
3) Budweiser again...with the people smacking each other.

My friend and I have a class tonight. A boating safety class to be exact. BUT, the school district (the neighboring one, not the one we live in) doesn't have school today due to the weather. No where online or TV does it safe if stuff is going on tonight. Call and no one answers. So, I guess we'll truck out into the bad weather to find out there is no class.

Remember, don't ASS-U-ME in life.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

I Will Lift My Eyes

So, Blogger made me switch to the NEW Blogger. Gag. I didn't have a desire to switch, but whatever. I doubt I'll use any of the new features...at least, not anytime soon.

Church was great yesterday. The message was about GRACE. When I actually have my Bible/Notebook on the same floor as me, I'll type more about this.

I haven't slept good lately. The past 2 days have been hell, when it comes to my sleep. My friend and I were supposed to go to his parents tonight. I'm not going, I came home (whatever you want to call it) to take a nap instead. People just don't understand its just not as easy as..."SLEEP if you are tired." "You are doing it to yourself, just go to sleep", etc. Like its THAT easy.

Yesterday when I was getting ready for Church, the little tempature thing said it was -1.7 here. I thought THAT was cold. Well, this morning before work it was -6.5 (that's without the windchill). I'm moving to AZ yet!

God is love!

Once Again

Blogger isn't letting me format this how I want, but here are pictures from the Ice Show.


That's my friend & a fish.






The huge blocks of ice they start with.











The blocks of ice getting carved into something cool. The guy was in the process of making a unicorn (the kind with wings), jumping over a moon or something like that.






A circus elephant (which was next to a tiger standing on a ball) It was pretty close to life size.








Love is in the air. That cupid scultpure was outside a Victoria Secret store.

Love Song For A Savior

That's Mom, trying to not knock over a teddy bear.









That's Jo...crutches & all. She's been on those things SO long, I'm starting to think they are attached to her. See the ice carved bench to her left, I wanted her to sit on it, but NO.






That's my Dad & Mom, huddling behind a huge chunck o' ice...like that's going to keep them warm.








That's Jo's friend. Not that you can see much of her. I think she's my favorite of Jo's farmville friends. She's so fun. Plus she's smart about sports.

In Christ Alone

Went to the Ice Show with my friend today, meeting my parents, Jo, and her friend there. Had a decent (but FREEZING) time hanging out with them. It was nothing as nice as the Ice Show we usually go to, but in this weather (and with a sister on crutches) the big fancy Ice Show probably would have been to much.

My Dad finally spoke with his parents. They are fine, their house is fine, all their friends are fine, but no word on if any of them had damage. The MAJOR damage was about 1 to 4 miles from their house.

My friend is at work right now. He should be home in about 3 hours. I've never been here at night alone. Kinda scary. Definitly boring.

I thought about going out with my friends tonight, but besides the fact that the money isn't really over flowing, I'm just old. I woke up at 08:00, took a 2+ hour nap this afternoon, and here its not yet midnight & I could VERY easily go to sleep. How am I going to party non-stop in Vegas?

In case anyone else cares...25 days until I go to Las Vegas!

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Here I Am To Worship

My Dad got a quick, short rushed sounding voicemail from his parents, saying basically, they were okay & would be in contact again when they could be. Dad is stressed & just wants to really TALK to them to hear their voices, which now has me concerned. This tornado was RIGHT by them, with most of the damage the news is showing within a mile of their house.

My family is going to this ice festival tomorrow. I'm hoping my friend will want to go too. If not, I might meet my family up there without him. I love ice festivals.

My friend has to work Saturday night/Sunday morning. YUCK! We have no plans for the Super Bowl. Just lots of little blahs...but we are doing good. I'm so happy, I just need to get some security within.

God is love!

Undo

Not a lot to report...just blah, kinda...but not really. I don't know. So yeah...I guess blah describes it.

I made soup for dinner. It wasn't as good as I hoped. Live and learn.

Jo got a tattoo yesterday. I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to see her with her short hair too. (She chopped off like 15 inches to donate) Who knows when I'll see her though, cause my desire to drive ALL the way home doesn't exist. Like I was telling Mom today, I've never like life in Farmville, its nothing personal. I'll take my 25 minute commute to work (16 miles) or 5 minutes/2 miles over my 75 minute (60 miles) commute any day!

I'm struggling with some personal security issues. I'll make it thru, but just blah.

I'm financially stressed, but that's mainly because I'm going on VACATION! A real vacation. We leave on a jet plane for Las Vegas 4 weeks from TODAY! At this time, on March 1st, I'll be in the AIR, FLYING to Vegas for my vacation. WAHOOOOO!!!

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!