The Spaz Says

My life is boring! I'll waste you time with a little of this, a little of that, and a whole bunch of nothing!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Today, I've been thinking about how my life was a year ago today, knowing that the anniversary of my friend breaking my heart is coming quickly.  I just read my blog from August of 2007.  It fueled many thoughts, mostly positive.  I am happy with where my friendship with my friend is at.  My heart hasn't healed but its in a better place, for sure. 

I had to spend an hour today figuring out unemployment related stuff.  I think the problem is resolved and should know for sure, in 2 to 3 business days.  It was VERY stressful, but I did a good job of remaining calm and kept praying the entire time.  I know God will provide!  When I hung up the phone, I just cried the happiest tears I've cried in a long time.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

posted by T @ 20:52 0 comments

Monday, July 28, 2008

This weekend has been one of the busiest I've had in a LONG time...years probably.

I left my house at 6:55AM Saturday morning, got home after midnight.  Sunday, I left my house at 10:30AM and was home at midnight.  Saturday was a softball tourney which involved way to many (losing!) games of softball in a very short time.  This was a co-ed tourney.  Our team wasn't that bad but our pitching sucked.  There was a power tripping problem so we literally walked in like 10 runs!  I also found time to go to the Detroit Tigers game on Saurday night.  It was a good baseball game, but it would have been better if the Tigers wouldn't have lost by one run.  Sunday was filled with Church and then tons of fun at the Church campgrounds, catching up with old friends, having a BBQ, going to the Baptism Service at the lake, hiking with Jo & a friend, then the last Camp Meeting Service of 2008. 

Where it was a BUSY weekend, I enjoyed every second of it.  I probably did more then I should have but I've got to start doing more then I've been doing.  Time to pass out now.

God is love!

posted by T @ 00:51 0 comments

Friday, July 25, 2008

For starters...DRUNK PEOPLE crack me up!!!  I went to pick up food in middle of the night and watching these 2 people walk thru the parking lot literally had me laughing out loud.  At the same time, I was scared though cause while obvious both were drunk, one of them had been driving.  Do people just NOT think?  Stupid people!

I am going crazy regarding my weekend plans.  Everything hinges on something else and I hate my life being like that.  I thought I'd have an answer an hour ago but was told "We will know at 5pm".  UGH!  I'm not mad at those involved, just annoyed and stressed by the situation.

I was reading my blog from last July.  I can't believe how much weight I've lost.  Now, I'm NOT in shape at all.  Welcome to not working out since April.  Looking at those pictures from last July though...I'm much smaller.  I just wish I was in better shape and toner.  Still, I won't complain.  Actually, I'll brag a bit.  My size 8's are falling off! 

God is love!

posted by T @ 03:19 0 comments

Thursday, July 24, 2008

My "f" key keeps sticking. 

I've devoloped a kidney infection.  That's great when you've already got gastrointestinal issues.  Add on that I'm playing in a softball tourney this weekend and attending the Tigers game too.

I'm proud of myself, I've taken the first (MAJOR) step in getting involved in the Church I've been attending.  Only Jo really gets how important yet overwhelming and scary this is to me.  I NEED a Church family again.  The week I moved for real (living with my friend just happened) last November, I remember I called Jo while driving to my new home and was CRYING hysterical about how was I going to handle Church without her to help me get comfortable. 

God is love!

posted by T @ 04:19 0 comments

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Softball tourney this weekend didn't go as I wished it would.  For starters, it RAINED for 90% of the day and it was a cold rain.  I've got enough bottled water and gatorade to last me a long time!  With it being SO cold and then losing MUCH earlier in the day then we are used to, everyone had TONS of beverages and food left over!

Issues with my friend are heavy on my heart lately.  Its difficult to explain, to put into writen words.  He's going camping this coming weekend with his cousins (a trip we went on last year and I enjoyed more then I thought possible!) and it just reminds me of what I had, of what I want.  There aren't really any issues...we get along GREAT.  Everything is the same, except we are just friends.  99% of the time, I'm okay with how things are, but I miss what I used to have.  I've NEVER felt like two people completed each other like we complete each other.  I know everything happens for a reason and I know God has a plan for me. 

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

posted by T @ 20:01 0 comments

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Let's see...I know God won't give me more then I can handle, but WHY must he trust me with SO much?!

The word is that my Grandparents (my favorite adults!) are getting a divorce after 54+ years of marriage.  My family is shocked, confused, heartbroken, and everything else you can imagine.  Grandparents are choosing to not tell us what is going on, and we are trying to respect that.

While dealing with that stress, TOY, my 10 year old nephew was missing for a few hours.  VERY SCARY!!!!!!  Plus with all the craziness going on in the world of GM, my family can't help but get a little stressed.  3 of 4 Grandparents are GM retirees and Dad currently works for GM and has been there for nearly 32 years.  Grandparents are all blue collar/hourly so they aren't losing anything (yet).  Dad believes his job is safe for now, but Dad is salary/white collar so when he does retire, he'll be affected by the changes they announced this week.

I've been hanging on with Shell & Baby Girl for a few hours every third day.  Baby GIrl is so precious.  She just makes my heart melt.  Hanging out with Mary has been my way of relaxing and relieving stress.

I'm not feeling great right now, but I'm getting used to it.  Stomach/Intestine pain is just a way of life.  I have a freaking pimple on my butt right now though...and it HURTS.  TMI, I know.

This weekend is the HUGE Church Softball Tournament.  I can't wait.  Mom and Dad are even going to try going to watch.  I doubt Mom will make it thru the day, but at least she's going.  I hope the day goes as well as my head thinks it will.  I haven't been to this tourney with Dad in years.  There is a smaller tourney the next weekend that I'll probably go to also.

Big Brother & Run's House started new seasons this week...YAY!!!!!!!  Big Brother, I like Steven & Jerry so far.  Run's House makes me laugh out loud so much. 

I had a DATE on Saturday.  I survived.  I got more of a friend vibe from the guy.  I'm just proud of myself for GOING on a DATE.

The MLB All-Star game was Tuesday night.  It was freaking LONG.  15 innings for an All-Star game.  I'm happy that the AL pulled out the win!  Now when my Detroit Tigers are playing in the world series, we will have home field advantage.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

posted by T @ 02:20 0 comments

Saturday, July 12, 2008

I survived a date.  Yes, a real live DATE.  I was nervous but nothing that bad.  The date was okay.  I couldn't tell you the last time I went on a date.  It was actually pretty nice to be on a date.  I will probably go on another date or two with this guy and see what happens.  Its not love at first site or anything but maybe something could be there.  Its strange though because with ST & my friend, there was something THERE right away, so part of me just doesn't know.  I am perfectly I am aware I am clueless in this dating gig though.  I'm glad I got a date under my belt though and can move forward.

God is love!

posted by T @ 22:13 0 comments

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

I'm annoyed with some people right now.  I can't get into it, but I'll just say my feelings are hurt.  The main person responsible for hurting my feelings should have been more clear and this wouldn't have happened.  This person has a lot going on in their life and I should cut them some slack, but its difficult.  While this hurt feeling thing is going on, I will be the first to admit I tend to take things personally.  Plus, I haven't been feeling top notch plus I'm PMSing. 

I'm sure in a day or two things won't matter at all and everything will be a non-issue.

God is love.

posted by T @ 22:44 0 comments

UGH!  I just feel yucky today.  I don't want to feel this way anymore.  I feel like at least once a week, I'm whining on here, to Jo, and my friend about how I feel like junk. 

That's all for now.  Don't worry, something exciting to come soon.

God is love!

posted by T @ 13:15 0 comments

I have had my days/nights confused for a long time now.  Ugh.  Its getting OLD.  Annoying.  Frusterating.  You get the idea.  Right now, I don't feel well, so whatever.  I am sick of not feeling well.  Oh well.

After watching The Bachelorette finale the other night, it got me thinking about love and being in love.  Its not a hidden thing that without a doubt, I've been in love twice.  There are a few other times, now, that I thought I was in love, or maybe I was.  I'm very comfortable talking about the two there is NO doubt about.  ST and my friend.  Without a doubt, I was in love with them and I will forever believe they were in love with me also.  Yet, I can say I loved and was in love with them differently.  I can't explain it, but it was just different.  Maybe because ST and my friend are different, maybe because I was at a different point in my life.  I wish I could put my thoughts into words better regarding this subject.  I think part of it was maturity.  I think part of it was I finally really had a concept of being with ONE person for the rest of my life by the time my friend and I were together.  I think part of it was ST was the first person that treated me with the love, understanding, and respect that I deserved (and now demand!).  Its just interesting to me, how the same feeling is the same, yet different when its between different people.  Yes, I know that last sentance sounded goofy.  ST & my friend just rock! 

As someone that lives life with as little regret as possible, I wouldn't change anything regarding those two relationships.  It made us who we are today.  Of course, now and then, part of me prays that things change in the future.  Who knows, I'm crazy.  My friend and I are just friends but there seems to be so much underlying tension and stuff.  I was talking to Shell's mom regarding my friend the other night.  I finally was able to put into words things regarding him.  He's one of the nicest, caring, and most GENUINE people, I've ever met.  He's always up front and honest and doesn't sugar coat things.  Just ugh.  Why can't we get married and live happily ever after?!  Its much more of a complicated (yet, not to us) situation then anyone knows.

On that note, the guy I've been talking to on EHarmony for awhile and I are probably getting together this weekend.  I've procrastinated meeting him for as long as I can, because dating freaks me out...but my life must go on.

God is love!

posted by T @ 04:10 0 comments

Monday, July 07, 2008


That's Baby Girl at about 12 hours old.



















The happy family. Shell, J, and Baby Girl (Taken roughly 30 hours after birth)














Yours truly holding Baby Girl (again, about the 30 hour old mark)










My favorite Baby Girl picture yet. (about 30 hours old)










Baby Girl and family are happily resting at home now.

God is love!

posted by T @ 22:10 0 comments

Sunday, July 06, 2008

I know Shell and J would do ANYTHING for me, no questions asked, in a time of need.  I would do anything for either one of them too.  I love them dearly, I trust them completely.  But dude...their Wonder Dog is messing with my beauty sleep!  Wonder Dog knows something funny is going on and she won't sleep, keeps barking, etc.  I am not an animal person so I have NO idea how to make Wonder Dog calm down.  Oh well, Wonder Dog and I will survive.  And the crazy thing is, I VOLUNTEERED to help with Wonder Dog!  I think Wonder Dog and I would have been fine tonight (we both had finally went to sleep about 1:30AM) but Shell's sister-in-law & brother got cute "Welcome Princess" signs put on the lawn and when the people were setting it up, the dog went crazy and that woke me up and now here I am.

This is all for Baby Girl, so its VERY worth it!

God is LOVE!

posted by T @ 02:33 0 comments

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Its been a long few days!!!

I am VERY happy to report my dear friends Shell & J are parents to the most perfect baby girl!  She was born at 8:51AM weighing 7lbs 2oz and is 20 inches long.  Shell had a pretty quick labor, especially for a first baby and Shell had no false labor either.  Shell's water started to leak at 3AM, got to the hospital at about 4AM and was pushing a little after 8AM.  Shell made it past the holiday like she wanted!  I went to the hospital tonight for about 2 hours and I can't say it enough, Baby Girl is just ADORABLE.  I held her for about an hour and just stared at her.  J, being the smart aleck he is, said "T, if I knew having a baby would shut you up, I would of had one 5 years ago."  Shell, J, and Baby Girl are all doing great...tired but great.  Shell did have some problems getting Baby Girl to latch earlier, but they are working thru that.

I am staying at their house until they come home from the hospital because Wonder Dog has never stayed the night alone and J doesn't want Wonder Dog to freak out.  I can't wait to see how Wonder Dog and Baby Girl do together!  Wonder Dog was given a blanket and hat that Baby Girl was wrapped in, to help get used to the scent.

I am exhausted.  I think I'm going to bed soon.  Thankfully Shell has TiVo so I can record the Tigers game and finish it tomorrow!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

posted by T @ 22:26 0 comments

Thursday, July 03, 2008

So, tomorrow is Independance Day.  I have ZERO plans and that makes me sad.  I was invite to tag along w/ J & Shell to a friend's shin dig, so I might do that.  I also am going to call JJ and my parents to see what they have going on.  JJ's town has their fireworks show on Saturday so hopefully she'll want to go or somethinng.

Next week, I'm hoping I'm well enough and nothing comes up that I will be able to start job hunting.

Shell's baby is due in 5 days now.  I am BEYOND excited. 

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

posted by T @ 01:08 0 comments

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

I attempted sleeping but have to much going on in my head to sleep.

NOTHING has went as planned lately, NOTHING.  I feel like friends are letting me down left and right.  ARuss didn't come visit like he was supposed to.  My trip up north with Roe has officially been cancelled because she decided to have a change of plans.  Then there is my beloved best bud ST who I think he falled off the face of the Earth.  I am happy he has a new girlfriend, but to not even call me when you knew I was in the hospital (and there's a little more to it) just hurts.  While all that was going down, my friend got VERY ill.  In the 3 years I've known him, I don't recall him ever having more then a headache or cold.  He called me at 03:00 (about 24 hour ago), so I headed to his house to take care of him.  Its the least I could do since he's done TWO trips to the hospital with me...and one was for a few days.  I spent all day jumping at his every beck and calling, trying anything to make him feel better.  His doctor was able to squeeze him in at 15:45.  After a shot, and some drugs we were sent on our way.  Finally after we got back from the doctor, my friend did manage to sleep for about an hour or two.  He then came downstairs and had a small dinner.  He was like a BRAND NEW PERSON.  He's not 100% yet (and the doctor that his problem will last about 48 hours after treatment started) but he's definitly on the mend.  So, I'm still at his house playing nurse. 

Since everything keeps changing, I did make lunch plans with my roomie, Shell, & Steph for today (being Tuesday).  I'm just getting really depressed hopefully its short lived.

While my friend and I were at his doctor today, the nurse asked us if we were married.  We both laughed and I was like "God, no!"  Then she was like "Oh, just dating."  My friend was like "No."  The nurse goes "Just good friends?"  And we laugh and say yes.  Nurse then goes "Well you two are very sweet and cute together.  Its obvious how much you care about each other."  Ummmm.  Okay, thanks.

I am having so many emotions running thru my head lately.  I wish I had $$$ to run away for a few days.  Or if I just had a place to run to!

God is love!

posted by T @ 01:27 0 comments