I signed into my email to send a quick blog.  Now, I have NO idea what it was about!

Oh yeah I do...

I HATE when people don't call when they say they will!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

---

McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now!

Twisted

Is it wrong that I'm laying here watching The Biggest Loser while eating Whoppers and a Heath Bar from our Halloween candy stash?

I had to suck up my pride MAJORLY in the past two days. For starters, I had to go to my Gpaw (who I can't stand...the man who, when he dies MY life will be better) and borrow money. Yesterday, Dad and I talked more about me moving home. Dad is trying to remind me (and he was saying it regarding his work situation and my living situation) that "This is where God wants us in life."

I found out via text message (she called once and I didn't answer) that one of my best buds got laid off today, form the same hell I worked at. She was already struggling financially (and started a 2nd job yesterday!) so she's FREAKING out. My heart breaks for her. She doesn't have the great supportive family to fall back on. It reminds me to be even more grateful for my family, I guess.

God is love!

I might die.  I might have ate a toothpick.  I am FREAKING out about it!  Yes, I'm a nut job.

God is love!

---

McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now!

Full Service

My friends and myself all decked out for the New Kids on the Block concert. I'm the one rockin' the crimped hair and red leggings. (Note: Our shirts and buttons are ORIGINAL!)

The concert was GREAT! NKOTB was hotter then ever before. They put on a better show then any of us thought possible. Two of my other friends that weren't in my group shared the same opinion. Danny Wood did a cool break dancing gig. WOW! Jordan hit the HIGH notes hardcore! Joey was just adorable. Jordan's song with his shirt unbottoned was HOT! Jonathan didn't solo at all and didn't talk at all. They really played to their audience (being 25-40 woman). Donnie rocked his Boston Red Sox hat all night (well like 5 different B hats). They changed clothes a lot. It was seriously a GREAT show. If they are coming to your town, SEE THEM!



God is love!

Click Click Click

Today is the NKOTB concert. I am SO excited. I can't believe how many people I know that are going. My group is a group of 7. Steph, Roomie, a bunch of others.

That's the outfit I'm wearing. NKOTB shirt (from 1990!), jean skirt, red legging, yellow flats, big red earrings, and crimped hair! (I might do black flats because they are MUCH more comfortable and might NOT crimp my hair)

I just ate lunch (Chicken, rice, and carrots, with a heath bar for dessert) and my stomach doesn't feel HOT. Hopefully that goes away soon.

Six of the Seven are going to eat before the show (which is cool cause I've never met two of the girls going) and hopefully/maybe going out afterwards.

I can't believe how many people I know that are going to this show!!! Its going to ROCK! Pictures to come!

God is love!

Last Dollar

See my big rib cage. Note, this isn't the dress that anyone is getting, also, this dress is pretty big on me, Shell is holding it up. I am aware I look like hell...remember that part about being sick.

God is love!

Bleeding Love

I was supposed to babysit Jax today, but I just couldn't do it. Enough about that.

Last night, we went looking for dresses for Roomie's wedding. Okay, I'm 5 feet 8 inches. I weigh 137lbs. I'm the skinniest I've been in my adult life (not in the best shape, but pound for pound...the skinniest). I have VERY odd proportions though. TMI...my boobs are two VERY different sizes. I have NO ass. The majority of my weight I carry in my waist. Dress shopping was a very tramatic experience. The lady that worked at the place said at one point "She's just got a large rib cage." Why don't you just call me FAT? I was feeling VERY rushed (by my friends) and just upset. I left there in tears, called my friend to go to his house to vent, and on the drive there I called another friend just screaming mad.

We are getting different dresses, same designer, and material. Of course, I fell in love with two dresses right away but then two other girls found dresses by the same designer so that decided the designer. I did have better luck while looking online. We shall see.

Roomie let us pick our own dresses is cool but sometimes I'd rather her just say "Here, wear this."

If you are the praying type, please pray for me. This health stuff is kicking my ass in every way possible.

God is love!

I'm Yours

I was just looking at my blog. I can't believe my blog celebrated its FOURTH birthday and I missed it.

So much has happened in those four years.

~ST and I aren't together. Hanging out to a friendship barely.
~SML and I aren't friends at all any more.
~P and I aren't friend at all any more.
~Shell is now married with a beautiful daughter.
~I've dated random people including CJ and the Clown. Had lusting affairs with Red & #4.
~Met my friend, fell in love HARD. Now the situation is what it is. Right now, at this moment I'm HIGHLY annoyed with him.
~I got a new job.
~I spent the night in the hospital for the first time as an adult. (a few times now)
~I lost that new job.
~I've moved and moved and moved again...and will be moving again soon.

God is love!

Paper Planes

I have been a political activist for as long as I can remember. Well before I was old enough to vote. I've got my opinions and respect everyones right to their own opinion. I tend to keep my opinions to myself. People VOTING is my real hot button issue. JUST VOTE. Don't vote SHUT UP. Actually, if you don't VOTE get out of this country. EVERY ELECTION is just as important. From school board to the president!

I did find this cool online test thing that will show my politic choice. I'm posting it because I thought it was a cool site. I will discuss my views but will NOT debate them and expect them to be respected!

Who should you vote for?

John McCain				30
Barack Obama	-33

You expected: John McCain
Your recommendation: John McCain

Party: Republican
Born: 1936, Coco Solo Air Base, Panama Canal Zone
Family: Married twice with seven children (two adopted)
Career: US Navy, Captain; Vice President of Public Relations, Anheuser-Busch beer distributorship.
Political career: US House of Representatives from Arizona's 1st congressional district, 1983-7; Incumbent Senior United States Senator from Arizona since 1987; former Chairman of the Senate Committee of Commerce and Senate Committee on Indian Affairs; Incumbent Ranking Minority Member of the Senate Committee on Armed Services
Hot topic: Iraq War
Did you know? Was a lightweight boxer in his youth
Supported by: Curt Schilling

Whatever You Like

So I slept from 8am until noon, then 4pm until 6pm. The four hours I was awake, I took a shower, picked up a video from the library, went to the post office, ate, and took a bath. I feel like I got ran over by a train.

I don't know if I blogged about it at the time, but while at a Tigers game in June I caught a foul ball hit by Carlos Guillen.

Well, while napping today, I dreamed I was at a Tigers game with my parents and Jo. While there is started raining (which it did the night I caught the ball) and I went to a different area to watch the game while my family wanted to stay dry. Well, I caught another foul ball! I had my hands on two or three more. STRANGE.

God is love!

Live Your Life

I'm actually typing a blog via Blogger.com instead of my email. That's why there is a title to this post (a random song title of course).

So, I have this HUGE PAINFUL blackhead/pimple thing forming at the bottom of my nose, like in my nose. Seriously ANNOYING. I've got enough pain going on, I don't need this.

God is love!

A few things...

1)  I'm SICK. 

Having a flare up to the Nth degree.  I know these will happen but it doesn't mean it doesn't catch me off guard.  It doesn't mean the pain will be any less.  This flare up is MAJOR, migraine and all.  Nothing is shaking it.  My sleep has been off since April but during a flare up, I know it gets worse.  The flare started Friday night.  Saturday, I went to sleep at 8am, slept til 1pm.  Went to sleep Sunday at about 2am until 9am.  Then again from 1pm until 5pm, then again from 10pm until 2am.  (which means I missed the end of the ALCS game 7)  Of course, during this sleep time there is multiple trips to the bathroom.  What do I do while awake that takes so much energy?  Maybe take a bath, watch some TV, play online, take another bath, go to the bathroom a million times, maybe get in a call to my parents or talk with Roomie, and probably take another bath.  If you didn't figure it out, baths are one of the biggest helps at relieving some pain.  That and heating pads and ice packs.  Very often, I leave my bathroom after a bath, stop in the kitchen to get an ice pack, and then crawl in bed and put the ice pack on my head and crank up the heating pad for my stomach.  This to shall pass.

2)  When you think people don't read here, remember this is a public blog.

Now, I don't care who really reads here.  I KNOW to not put ultra top secret info here.  Sometimes I come here to vent, and then a few weeks later people say stuff that I KNOW I did NOT talk to them about so they had to read it here.

3)  Males frustrate me.

I have such a love/hate relationship with most.  They just need to realize, I am right, they are wrong and move along.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

---

McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now!

So, in roughly 6.5 weeks, I'll be moving.  I haven't figured out where for sure yet.  The thought of moving is overwhelming to an extent but NOT to a paralyzing extent.  As I type this, tears are starting to roll down my cheeks.  The number one reason, without a doubt that moving this time is going to crush me is that I just do NOT want to be away from my friends!  I've got roomie 5 feet away, Cris within 1/2 a mile, Steph, Shell/J, and my friend all less than 5 miles away.  Chances are that they will all end up being 30-60 miles away.

I just don't want to make any snap decisions right now.  I'm trying to pray about things, trying to get opinions from a few that matter.

I wish I wasn't single right now.  That would obviously help in my decision making process.  I'm just SICK of being single.  I was chatting online today was my younger cousin (who moved out of state in August) about life and the holidays.  She won't be able to come home for Thanksgiving.  For some reason, that just reminded me how much I HATE being single during the holidays.  Really from Oct 1st-Jan 1st, if I could have a man, that would be a huge help.

God is love!

---

McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now!

I will be moving again soon.  The end of November most likely.  Where to, I don't know for sure.  Probably back to my parents house, where we all know I HATE life.   Between my financial/jobless situation, Roomie being engaged, and Dad's work situation, moving back home sounds like the best choice for all parties.

I'm making a list of things that my Dad (and I) would have to get done at his house before this is a real possiblity.
1)  High speed wireless internet.
2)  Cable/TiVo in my room
3)  A working garage door.

I know moving to my parents house would make my Mom's day but I wish they had a clue how much it makes me want to slit my wrists.  Besides not having a job, I'd have no church, and no real friends within an hour.  Sounds like it would do alot for my mental state. 

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

---

McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now!

Whenever you think your stress can't get much worse, remember that it can!!!!!!

God is love!

---

McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now!

I wish my family, my parents especially, had a clue how quickly they can change my mood from okay and stable to horrible and rather-be-dead.  They feel the need to tag team me about issues.  Hello.  I got the point.  I'm NOT stupid.  Stressed but NOT stupid.  Just UGH.  Screw the world.

God is love!

---

McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now!

So, today was a typical game night to take place at Shell & J's house.  We did move the start time up because we are getting old (or because Shell & J have a 3 month old baby) but other then that...it was a normal game night.  HA!

As I type this, J is sitting at the ER waiting to have his thumb sewn back together and I'm laying in bed with an ice pack on my shoulder.  The events are 100% unrelated, but funny none the less.  J wasn't home from work yet when everyone arrived at his house.  Turns out he cut his thumb and was trying clean up his mess and tape his thumb together.  Well, a few hours into dinner and games, his thumb was still BLEEDING.  Of course, at this point all the urgent cares are closed.  Now, as for my shoulder...I ran into the grocery store on my way home to pick up ONE thing.  On my way out, I was messing with my phone and wallet and didn't realize that the automatic door didn't open all the way.  What makes this walking into the door thing even stupider...I've done the same thing, at the same store, same door, at least two other times in the past month.

Tomorrow, I'm planning on going to early Church, then going to a bridal show with Steph, Roomie, and Roomie's mom.  Never been to one before, should be interesting.

God is love!

---

McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now!

I am officially VERY EXCITED for Roomie's engagement/wedding!  So excited that I'm not sleeping.  LOL.  They are looking at next June.  She asked me to be a bridesmaid.  YAY. She doesn't expect the four of us standing up to wear the same dress, just same color.  YAY! 

God is love!

---

McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now!

A little bit ago, I sent the following text message to two of my trusted friends, who know the other person invovled.

"I feel really bad.  I don't want to be friends with nameless anymore.  Its to much work, its not worth it.  Is it right to feel that way?"

The one friend that I heard back from, said I'm totally allowed to feel that way.

This friendship has been a lot of work for a long time, this person doesn't live close, and a million other reasons.  I'm sad.  I never thought I'd feel that way.  And what makes it sadder, tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of us meeting.  Yes, we both know that.  I know friendships take work.  This one, with good reason, takes a LOT more work.  It just seems like we've grown to far apart.  I don't know.  I'm just very BLAH about it right now.

Red Wings start TOMORROW!  YAY!

God is love!

---

McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now!

So much for the Brewers winning the World Series!  They were booted today by the Phillies.  :-(  I guess, now I want Chicago White sox to win, since they are from the Tigers division...but really, I don't like them.  In other words, I don't care who wins now.  I just want some GOOD October baseball (like the 12 inning game that the Angels won tonight at Boston to stay alive for another game)

Did I mention yet that the Red Wings will raise their Stanly Cup Banner to the rafters of Joe Louis Arena this week!?! 

God is love!

---

McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now!

After my slight breakdown this morning, my friend and I hung out all day and had a good day.  I tried to get ahold of two of my single female friends first, but they weren't around and I knew I was in a really bad place and just needed someone to deal with me.  I got to my friend's house at about noon.  He made blueberry waffles and sausage for our breakfast.  We watched a little tv, napped, talked, went to dinner, then came back to my house so he could fix my computer, ate ice cream, and talked some more.  It was just nice to be with someone that understands depression, understands me, understands what's going on in my life.  My friend is a little stressed that his job might be disappearing soon.  I was glad he opened up to talk about it with me.

Now, I'm still VERY stressed/depressed about some issues going on in my life, I did have a decent day.  Focus on the small things.

Its October.  Its Michigan.  The past few nights I've had to use my space heater at night.  Well, this evening with the help of my friend, I changed my bedding to my winter bedding this evening.  Bed skirt, shams, additional blanket, and much thicker comforter.  Of course, now I'm sitting here sweating my butt off!!

October baseball ROCKS!!  My hopes for a Chicago subway series are over since the Cubs got swept, so I'm back to rooting for the Brewers and Prince!!!  Prince, as in, Prince Fielder.  His dad, Cecil, was a Detroit Tiger much of the 90's when I think only my Grandpa and I were Tiger fans!

Does anyone have a clue what its like to just fell like I'd rather DIE then deal with life's issues?  I'm sick of that feeling.  I have that feeling more often then one should!

God is love!

---

McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now!

If I wasn't sad & depressed yesterday about being single and life in general, I surely am now!!!!!!!!!!

I woke up to the news that my roommate and her boyfriend got engaged last night.  Now, do NOT get me wrong, I am OVER THE MOON happy for them. 

I seriously, want to stab myself with  a thumb tack right now.

My lazy butt didn't make it to Church today, I'm kicking myself for that too.  I just eel like I'm the worlds biggest loser lately.

I will make it thru this.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

---

McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now!

I'm sad, lonely, and depressed.  I know part of it is that I'm just PMSing, but there is much more to it then that.  I'm starting to eat worse then ever.  I'm in the worst shape of my life, but close to the skinniest.  I had gotten in such GREAT shape, then my health went to hell and I couldn't even get out of bed basically for 3 months.  I'm poorer then ever before.  I know this shall pass, but right now it SUCKS.

The lonely thing really gets me sometimes.  REALLY GETS ME.  This time of year, Fall, is my favorite.  I HATE being single this time of year more then any other time.  More then the holidays, I think. 

Besides that the fact that this time of year drives me crazy being single, the fact that I am surrounded by happy couples ALL The time (most of them married w/ children) doesn't make things any better.  My two single friends that I hang out with the most live a decent distance away.  Plus, while they are single, they hate it more then me and feel like they NEED a man, and will settle for anything and jump into any relationship.  That's just NOT me.  Of course, I hang out with my friend often, since he's single and lives close but that's not always the healthiest thing and doens't get me any closer to finding Mr. Right (lets not get into the fact that 99% of the time, I think my friend is Mr Right...but whatever)

I just feel like nothing is going how I want it.  Maybe that's because God's in control, not me. 

I decided that tomorrow, I am going to start walking EVERYDAY.  Even if only to the end of my street.  Maybe, I'll start trying to do some tae-bo also.  I've got to do something.

Depression SUCKS.

I feel like someone is taking advantage of me.  Its only happened twice...the first time, I didn't thing much of it, but now, after the second time...I see it clearly.  Let me tell you, it will NOT happen again.  The bad part, this person is a member of my family!

Hopefully Church will help my attitude problem tomorrow.

God is love!

---

McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now!

Nap time for two year olds MUST be more for the adult then the child.  I've been watching Jax a ton lately.  Sunday wasn't that good of a day but wasn't that bad either since there were other people to help, etc.  Today, he's being hellian child!  He's now in his bedroom playing with his toys.  I hear him.  He will NOT take his nap.  This is the first time while watching him at his house, that I can't get him down for this nap.   Finally, after sitting there in tears, I had to walk out of the room.

Everyone says its different when its YOUR kid...but lately, every child I deal with reminds me why from birth thru my early twenties I always said I didn't want kids!!!!!

God is love.

---

Find phone numbers fast with the New AOL Yellow Pages!