This Is The Night

Last Saturday, during the day, somehow I managed to pull muscles in my neck.  It seems to be getting worse not better.  The pain woke me up last night!  NOT COOL!

I spoke up for myself to two different family members yesterday.  I'm proud of myself, yet I need to stop feeling guilty about it.

More fireworks tonight!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

You Want It, You Got It

I had a FANTASTIC time at the fireworks (followed by the bar) last night.  It was one of the greatest nights outs in a LONG time!!!!!!!  It was just Shell, Butt, & I...then we met up with another friend, his dad, & his dad's friend once down town.  As we were leaving the bar, I said to Shell "My stomach hurts, my cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling so much tonight."  She's like "GOOD, you need it!"

I believe Shell, myself, and some others might be hitting some more fireworks & bars tomorrow night.  I'm not 100% sure yet.  BUDGET!  I need to save MONEY for CHICAGO!  I'm SOOOOO excited!  43 days to CHICAGO!!!!!!  Yes, there will be a COUNT DOWN!

I'm enjoying my day off!  Time to NAP!

Softball at 18:00 AND 19:30.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

The Reason

I heart the library!

I've decided my new boss (we'll just call her Boss) is pretty cool. Of course, there are a few things she does that bother me...but all in all, it could have been A LOT worse.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

One Good Reason

I know I've been under a little bit of stress (mainly work related, a little family related, and in the past few days, financially)...but WHY on God's silver earth can I NOT sleep straight thru the night.  I am only getting 4-6 hours of sleep anyways...so it would be NICE to get a solid 5 hours, not this waking up every hour or so!  I know part of it is I'm PARANOID about being late to work.  I've got no clue why.  Maybe because I don't feel that secure in my job lately.

Hi ho hi ho.  Off to work I go...

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

No One Makes It Right

Since I won't be around a computer until Thursday most likely, I should post something now...yet I have little to say & this is cutting into my get ready for bed time.

I'm only working 4 days this week and (hopefully!) 3 days next week.  YAY!  Of course, I'll be VERY poor for awhile...but that's okay.

Shell, Butt, & I are going to see FiReWoRks Wednesday night (which is why I have Thursday off).  I'm EXCITED!  I've only been to the Detroit Fireworks twice in my entire life (age 5 and (about) age 23).  I might try and sneak to my hometowns fireworks tomorrow night, but we shall see.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Last Chance

Wahooooo!  I'm going on a REAL vacation!  Shell just emailed me the flight confirmations!  We are taking a girls weekend to Chicago in mid August!  I'm SO excited!!!!!!

Dad wants to start car pooling again.  I don't like that idea.  We shall see.  Add to my stress!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Lonely Nights

I have always been a world class procrastinator & I don't see/plan on that changing any time soon.  I've got 4 chapters to read/questions to answer by 17:00.

Erob's Dad's surprise 55th birthday party was a good time.  I actually ENJOYED myself.  Erob's Dad was REALLY surprised!  There were about 25 people there (with 24 of them being from our Church).  Everyone that was there (minus my family & the one neighbor) has known Erob's Dad forever.

Some things that have me thinking lately...
~Is it wrong to stop praying for someone/thing because you aren't seeing results? 
~Is it wrong to stop praying for someone/thing because you are just tired of praying for the same thing?
**I believe once I pray the prayer once God has heard me & its up to HIM to decided if/how/when to answer my prayers. 

1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Coming Home

I've got a FEW minutes with nothing to do (I could straighten my room or read, but yeah.)...

I've got to make everything as short as I can though...time isn't my friend!

So, Thursday at about 08:50 JJ called me at work. She was SICK! I flew to her house, to find her laying on the living room floor in a fetal position. ER here we commmmmeeee! JJ is doing okay now, not good by any stretch of the word. I got the pleasure of 1) being the first person to watch Jax! (even before his daddy!) and 2) teaching Jax how to pray! He's just precious! I'm SO in love with that little guy. Poop & puking out the nose & I still love him to pieces!

Last night I had a date...

With my friends Shell, Cris, & Steph! Well, Cris ended up not going. I had a good time. We met up with Steph at the bar where they were having her friends 30th birthday party. Jay
was there. As we were walking in he waves at Shell & I. I'm like "What was I thinking...he's NOT that cute." So much truth has came out about him in the past few months/days that Steph had to fill me in on. I'm entertained to say the least. Steph & I couldn't stop laughing at what a moron he is! I'm SO glad I didn't let myself get wrapped up with him for more than a couple of days!!! Let me just say, CJ is MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH hotter (and nicer, and honest, and a million and one other things) than Jay. I can't believe I ever used the word hot to describe Jay. It was so nice to hang out with my friends that I don't see as much as I would like to.

Speaking of CJ. Awwwwww. Just ;-) While the situation isn't what I want, I know its for the best for both of us. I'm SO happy & CONTENT with things. Steph was drilling into my head last night to not get involved with him until that ink is dry (meaning his divorce finalized). It is what it is. ;-)

I wonder what my family is wearing to this party. Hmmmm. Think I can change out of Church clothes?

Took Mom to Church this morning. I HATE taking her places (especially CHURCH) on my own. We had to leave early. ERRRRRRR. We had Missionaries there (Jo, one grew up attending Troy w/ Pastor D & one grew up attending WW w/ Lisa). I'll have to buy the CD to hear the rest of the message.

I was going to add some new pictures...but no time.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

You And Me

Like I said, I'll be on this device a lot less.  A lot less turned into a TON less than I thought!

I've got to be out the door for Church in 20 minutes, then I have a birthday party, then studying, then class at 17:30.  Sorry to my buddies that I had to cancel on today!  I TOTALLY forgot about the birthday party until about 20:30 last night, when my Mom of all people had to remind me!

Its been a rough, stressful, fun, exciting, exhausting few days.  JJ has been in the hospital, so I've had little adorable Jax for the great majority.  Its nice to know she trusts ME alone with the baby, and I'm the ONLY one!  :-)  Managed somehow, to go out last night with my friends, had a great time.  More later...maybe.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Jealousy

I HATE that others can affect my mental health, my mental stability SO much!  Let's just say, I'm NOT in the best place.  I've been here before, it will work itself out.  Hopefully sooner rather than later.

I won't be going to the David's Friends function tonight.  I'm NOT happy.

Thank God I have the worlds greatest friends!!!!!!!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

What's It Gonna Be

Day 1 of early shift is done & over.  Its going to take some getting used to, but I think the early shift is going to work better for me for a bunch of reasons.  Starting with I spent 27 minutes less in the car then my average drive times.  I was training for a new department at work, but that's on hold for a bit.  I've got a job & for that, I'm trying to be grateful.

Bonfire for David's Friends tonight has turned into an ice cream social.  Shall be fun, but not as fun as a bonfire.  I just hope everyone shows up & everyone gets along. 

I'm off to do something PRODUCTIVE like study or clean or something other than sit here...probably nap.  ;-)

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Don't Look Now

This waking up at 04:15 stuff is for the birds! I'm going to be stuck in the napping pattern for a while!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Wait And See

How is someone supposed to be in bed, trying to sleep at 20:00, when they don't get home until after 21:00 & haven't ate dinner yet?  It will all work itself out.  If God wanted there to be 25 hours in a day...He would have put 25 hours in a day.

Bonfire tomorrow night.  Why have a bonfire on a Wednesday night?  Its not like anyone in our group has a life that would make a busy on a Friday or Saturday night.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

State Of Mind

Something else I've got to figure out how to work on...letting things go!! Prayer is the only answer I can come up with on that for now. Any other ideas?

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

My Way Home

As I've said over & over lately...I'm BUSY. As I've said over & over lately...somethings got to give!

Well, now is the time for me to start making changes.

Effective Wednesday my hours at work will be 06:00-14:45. Making my drive about 30 minutes less a day, and MUCH less stressful. Plus, with all the changes going on...it should help with some of the stress I have happening there.

I've also decided that NOTHING on TV is worth running myself into the ground. Sports, reality TV, news, NOTHING.

Next comes this computer device...I have messed blogging about SO many things lately...and guess what? The world is still spinning, I'm still breathing.

I've been feeling like a failure of sorts, because I'm not getting everything that I want done...but guess what? The world is still spinning, and I'm still breathing!

Yesterday, I was SO ran into the ground, that I had to stop what I was doing & take care of myself. I cried to have to do it, but the world is still spinning AND I didn't hit a tree.

Actions speak louder than words...and I'm taking actions to change the things I complain about. Doesn't mean I won't complain...hopefully just not as much.

Softball today, softball tomorrow, bonfire for David's Friends on Wednesday, softball Thursday...so I might have some time come Friday. Maybe.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Don't Leave Me Lonely

I got this survey in an email from Dani & figured I'd share it here.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

[1] What is your middle name: Sue

[2] What color is your mailbox: Silver at my legal address, white at where I usually stay.

[3] How many pair of shoes in your closet? Not enough!

[4] Have you ever hit a deer: My name isn't Bill! My Dad is a PRO at deer hitting.

[5] Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home? Little bitty overpass type bridges.

[6] Do you get the paper delivered to your house in the morning: Nope...I'll read it online for free. My newspaper of choice is Macomb Daily.

[7] Who checks the mail in your house? At my legal address, my Gma & I take turns. At the house I usually stay at...Jo.

[8] Do you have a small driveway: At Gma's there is no driveway. At this house, its a LONG driveway!!!!!

[9] Do you know anyone with the same clothes as you: they couldn't be the same.

[10] What do you do first in the morning? Hit the snooze, to shut the alarm off ASAP. I HATE NOISE!

[11] What brand is your printer: HP

[12] Do you enjoy fighting with people: Sometimes...to keep things interesting.

[13] Is your hair naturally straight or curly: STICK STRAIGHT!

[14] Who was your kindergarten teacher: Mrs. Watson (and she was MEAN!)

[15] Burial preference? In a box, the cheapest box you can find.

[16] Are you taller than your mother: Yes, about an inch or 2.

[17] Do you have a favorite word: interesting

[18] Are you God? NOT even close!

[19] What do you do to get over a broken heart? Eat ice cream or go to the bar with my girl Shell.

[20] Do you have a deep dark secret: Not really & anyways...I wouldn't tell YOU what it is.

[21] Have you ever spent time in jail? Not yet.

[22] Do you enjoy writing in colored pens? Yep...especially glittery ones.

[23] Does anything hurt on your body right now? Not really.

[24] Do you often cry during movies? I cry often & easy.

[25] Do you hate your life: No!

[26] Do you get mad easily? I don't think so. Annoyed yes, mad...no.

[27] Do you drink to get drunk: Haven't done that in a LONG time!

[28] What is your biggest pet peeve: People (BILL!) wasting my time!

[29] What is your away message? I don't have one up right now.

[30] Do any of your friends have kids: yes

[31] Have you had any mystical, paranormal, or UFO experiences? no.

[32] Who should pay on the first date: anyone but me. ;-)

[33] How many years older than you are you willing to date? Age is (basically) irrelevant to me. Probably 10 years...but it would just depend.

[34] Do you have any friends: a few (and I like it that way!)

[35] Do you have any mean friends: ha. I did, but I cut the negativity from my life!

[36] What is the ugliest color in your opinion: Boring brown

[37] Have you ever liked someone who all your friends couldn't stand: yes!!! I should have listened to my friends!

[38] Have you ever felt like driving off a cliff: driving into a wall, yes...driving off a cliff, no.

[39] Have you ever been fired from a job: no

[40] What year was your house built: The house where I usually stay...1999.

[41] When was the last time you slept in someone elses bed: Last weekend.

[42] What brand are the pant/jeans you're wearing right now: wearing pjs! I live in PJs!

[43] How tall are you: 5'8"

[44] What is the closest green object: My purse

[45] What is on your feet: some bruises

[46] Do you always wear underwear? no...I hate being confined. In my next life I'm joining a nudist colony!

[47] Do you enjoy the sensation of human flesh on your tongue? That's a weird question.

[48] Do you want to have kids? Yep...a whole softball team worth would be kick a$s.

[49] Did you know this ISN'T a McDonalds employee audition form? Darn! It would be a better J-O-B then the one I have.

[50] Have you ever run in a marathon? not yet!

[51] Do you know how to draw: I doodle a lot, but to really draw, no.

[52] Whats your mothers middle name: Jean

[53] Stupidest movie you ever saw: If its really stupid, I don't watch it, at least...no all of it!

[54] Do you collect comic books: no

[55] Do you look like your dad: Not at all!

[56] Do you have any TV shows on DVD: no

[57] Are you wearing makeup: no

[58] Do you have a tattoo: no

[59] What is your guilty pleasure? Scrapbook store shopping!

[60] You win the lottery. You: buy Gma a car, pay off my parents house, buy JJ a house & a reliable car, go to Ireland, buy myself a H2, give some to charities I believe in, etc.

[61] How many pairs of underwear do you have: I haven't counted them lately, but if you ask how many pairs of toe socks I have...I know that number.

[62] Is there something you want to tell someone, but you haven't? Not really, but there are some people that I don't talk to often enough, so when I do talk to them...I have SO much to tell them!

[63] Who is your hero: Dad, Pastor Mike, Gma & Gpa W.

[64] Who'd you last IM: I think it was SML.

[65] Do you work a lot of hours? at work...40 hours a week & not a minute more.

[66] What do you do when you are stressed out? PRAY, cry, sleep, talk/whine to SML.

[67] Who was the last person that called you? Dad

[68] Is there anything you regret? I try to NOT regret things. Of course, there are things I would do different if given a second chance.

[69] Do you know where your family name originated from? Europe somewhere technically. In MY opinion, AMERICA. I'm strange. Don't get me started on heritage.

[70] Is there any animal that creeps you out? BIRDS! Anything that FLIES basically.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Try To See It My Way

Top photo: Princess Whiny B*tch.
Bottom photo: Princess Whiny Bi*ch in training.
(in other words...me & Jo)

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Take Me Back

This was from Thursday night...but Blogger hates me!  3rd times the charm.

Softball was cool.  Loss & all.  I did MUCH better than last week!!!!!!!!!!!  Then again, I couldn't have done much worse!

I got home, showered, and ate dinner at about 22:00.  How am I supposed to go to bed when I just ate dinner?  ERRRRRRR. 

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Tokyo Girl

My face (especially the part right above my lip, and then the one side of my chin!) is SO broke out.  I feel like I'm 13 again!

I was talking with SML today & realized a few things about this work mess.  While I hate my job & the entire company sucks & can kiss my fat a$s...surprisingly, the situation (so far!) is really staying at work.  I'm not depressed or anything.  I'm miserable while there, but once I'm out the door I feel like a totally different person!

Softball at 19:30.  Power NAP!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Give Me Your Love

Its taking EVERYTHING I have & then some, to go into work today.  I feel like crap, and I know its 50% stress & 49% exhaustion.  I just need a day off from LIFE.

God doesn't give me more than I can handle!!!!!!!!! 

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Love For Sale

David's Friends (minus Red!) was cool.  I miss Red not being there, but I do understand and respect his position.  The lesson was about forgiveness (again) & was probably something the group (Co-teacher B too!) needed.  Its very...thought provoking for me, to think/know that I must forgive others for God to forgive me.  God forgives everyone for everything, so I should be able to forgive one person for something not that big (in the grand scheme of life).  Mell & I have more and more in common the more we talk.  We both tend to be judgmental & think we are better than most.  Not that we SHOULD be that way, but we are...and we are working on changing, at least...I am.

The Tigers lost in 12 innings.  Carolina lost in OT.  Sad sports day for me.  I hope my softball game tomorrow goes better than the past few have.  Blah.

I don't really have time to spend on the computer, yet I am such a creature of routine.  I did manage to get lots of things done today...but I am probably going to go to work naked for the next few days, because I have NO time for laundry or shopping for new clothes!  Note to self:  You like to be BUSY!

I am taking a class now.  Its a Churchy-Bible class.  More about this as it goes along, as I have time.  I'm excited though.  I missed the first class (thanks to Jax) & it goes thru the end of August.  I need to crack my book and get my butt in gear.  Note to self:  You like to be BUSY!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Life Is A Flower

The top picture is yours truly (aka Princess Whiny B*tch) & Jax.

The lower picture is my 3 boys! Jax (age 38 hours), TOY (age 8), and JM (age almost 11).

Time isn't on my side lately.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Ravine

Words can't begin to describe how UPSET, ANGRY, PISSED, MAD, SAD, etc I am about some things going on at work.  I honestly would rather go to jail then go to work again.  Things can't get much worse.  Trying to see the good...my new desk will be back closer to Jess.  Yeah...the bad outweighs the good though...A LOT!

David's Friends tonight.  YAY!

I'm still trying to add more pictures but Blogger hates me.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Doctor Sun

I'm feeling very stressed & overwhelmed with life lately.  I'm so glad I'm a child of God's & I can put all of my stresses and trust in Him.

Its Wednesday.  Almost Saturday.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Donnie

Not only is Blogger pissing me off...so is myspace.  ERRRRRRR.  I don't have time for things to not work right.

Over the weekend, I went upnorth with SML, to visit him Mom & Step-Dad.  It was outside of my box, but something I felt like I needed to do.  I had a great time! 

Softball is a headache right now.

I am annoyed at my own stupidity sometimes!  I was looking forward to going downtown & going to the Tigers game on Friday night.  ERRRRRRRRR.  Its an away game.  Doh!

I have SO much to do.  I NEED sleep.  I need to invent time!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Win Some Lose Some

I have a hard time adding pictures to Blogger...but let me give it a whirl. That's my new love! Jax (being held by his daddy).

Okay...it won't let me add any more pictures right now. That's a start. I've got tons to add though!

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Cruel Summer

I've been VERY busy lately.  I've got about 30 seconds to get this post done.  JOY!

So, I realized something on my way home from work today.  When I figured it out, thought about it, it moved me to tears.  I'm scared out of my mind that I might never find love again.  I mean, plenty of people love me & I love plenty of people.  BUT...to find someone that I'm IN love with, that is also IN love with me!  That's very scary to me.  Don't worry, my self confidence that I found a couple of weeks ago is still there...so I'll live.

Details of Jax & pictures coming soon!  I have pictures, but since my digital camera is out of order & Jo's is on vacation, I've got to scan them & all that super fun stuff that takes much longer than I have right now!

Peace!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Once Upon a Fool Ago

I'm proud to announce that JJ had the baby!  I'm now Aunt T x3!

He'll be known as Jax around this part of my world.

Baby Jax weighed in at 8lbs 6oz & 21.75 inches long.  According to his Mom, he's the cutest of her 3 kids (as a newborn).

Pictures to come soon!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Cecilia

TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had the worst softball game of my adult life yesterday.  My first inning, defensively, I played GREAT!  Then, it was ALL downhill.  I have excuses like crazy...but they were excuses.  It has me really upset though.  REALLY upset!

Lots to do...so little time.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

He Decides

I MUST stop running myself into the ground!  Running NONSTOP from 05:15-23:30 every day just doesn't work for ME!  Something's gotta give!  Is it bad to pray for a rain out today?

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Frail And Bedazzled

David's Friends was very good tonight!!!!!  Red wasn't there and I don't know why.  The message was about "Why bad things happen to good people?" 

Other than that...I'm exhausted.  Softball tomorrow.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

You And I

Happy Wednesday!

Its days like today (and days like lately) where God must carry me through.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

No Good Lover

I really need Yahoo Messenger to WORK!  I tried to download it yesterday and I did something wrong.  Now, for the life of me, I can't fix it.  ERRRRRRRRRRR.  Computers HATE me.

I had a good work out at the gym.  My hair is a nice even color with no funky roots.  Dad's softball team lost in extra innings.  It was a decent game with some interesting plays.  Like, some new guy over running 2nd base & getting out.  Or Yellow passing Red about a foot before home place& them both getting called out. Stupid boys.  One of those had to be there plays.  It was cute to see them laying on the ground together.  It was a pile of eye candy.  ;-)  Red's *so* adorable.  Good thing I have myself a safe distance from his head games.  His Mom called him out on his head games today.  LOL.

After talking with Red, a few others from our group, and respected trusted adults from our Church, I think the decision regarding how to handle the problems with Co-Teacher B from David's Friends has been made.  For now, the idea is to take a wait & see attitude.  If we have any other issues, with a united front, we are going to calmly & respectfully approach her directly.  If (when) that doesn't work...then we will take the issues to Pastor D.  Pastor D has a VERY full plate right now, and I don't want to make it worse if we can handle things ourselves.  Co-Teacher B won't be at David's Friends tomorrow.  Darn.

Mom & Jo are leaving for their long awaited vacation tomorrow evening.  I'll miss them, but I'm glad to see them go.  I hope Mom has a good time & calms down enough to remember parts of it.

Just blah.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Whenever You're Near Me

So, I took a mental health 1/2 day.  ;-)  My head hurts, but I know its 95% stupid stress and lack of sleep.  I haven't gotten to do anything exciting (like rest!) yet because Mom is SUPER OVERLY anxious and annoying regarding her vacation & already had a seizure.  She's napping now, hopefully she stays that way until Dad gets home!

I really need a mental health vacation, much more than 1/2 a day off work.  A vacation...say, at least 3 days at least an hour from both of my houses, with little or no contact with the great majority of the world.  Or 3 days with no one home & no work.  I can dream.

I'm going to nap soon.  YAY!  I did stop and get a kick butt lunch on my way home from work.  ;-)  In theory, after napping I'm going to dye my hair, go to the gym, then to Dad's softball, come home & watch the Tigers game.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Experience Pearls

I desperately need to take a mental health day.  I won't be, but I need to! Can it be July 1st?  That's the next day I believe I can sleep in, a day with nothing to really do.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

I'm Gonna Love You Anyway

I just spent about an hour working on something on MySpace to have my computer freeze and it make me close that IE window!  I'm NOT happy!

Patience is a virtue which I don't have!

What is going on within my head that I can't sleep lately?  That I won't attempt sleep?!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

You Are My King

I love my friends.  I love my friends.  I love my friends to death!

Ingrid & I really need to find time to hang out.  She's unwilling to completely clear the air via phone.  I keep typing stuff and deleting it.  I think the biggest issues are 1) She needs to separate herself from CJ & I.  What happens between CJ & I is between CJ & I.  2) She's suffering from a bad case of new relationship syndrome.  I'm VERY happy for her & Jason.  Happy, but scared.  I'd hate to her get hurt!  Friendships take work...but they shouldn't cause migraines and make me want to vomit.

SML.  He's going up north to visit his Mom this weekend.  I've been on his case that he needs to visit her more.  I've been telling him I'd LOVE to see his Mom.  Now, I haven't answered him if I'm going or not yet.  Why don't I know?  Because I don't!  He's giving me a small attitude (as much of an attitude as he gets with me) about it. 

My brain is a fun fun place to live.  WEEEEEE.

"Why worry about the stuff you can't control?"  (BTW...that line is courtesy of his royal hotness, CJ)  I can ONLY control my own actions!  I can't control NOR be responsible for the actions of others!!!!!!!!!  I spent many hours with my social working, getting that drilled into my head.  Actually, that's the one of the few things that I really LEARNED from that mental health experience.

So, I made some calls today to address the health issues that I must be responsible and handle all by myself.  YUCK!  The one office that I've dealt with before closed.  They do have other locations that I might attempt dealing with.  My other choice is a place that I've never dealt with, but comes with okay recommendations.  If I had any type of health issuance, this would be easier...but I'll find a way!  Where there is a will, there is a way.

1 Be merciful to me, O God, for men hotly pursue me;  all day long they press their attack.  2 My slanderers pursue me all day long;   many are attacking me in their pride.  3 When I am afraid, I will trust in you.  4 In God, whose word I praise,  in God I trust; I will not be afraid.  What can mortal man do to me?  5 All day long they twist my words;  they are always plotting to harm me.  6 They conspire, they lurk, they watch my steps,  eager to take my life.  7 On no account let them escape;  in your anger, O God, bring down the nations.  8 Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll --are they not in your record?  9 Then my enemies will turn back when I call for help.  By this I will know that God is for me.  10 In God, whose word I praise,  in the LORD, whose word I praise-  11 in God I trust; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?  12 I am under vows to you, O God;  I will present my thank offerings to you.  13 For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.  Psalm 56 (NIV)

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Adventures In Paradise

Your Royal Laziness (that's ME!) took her fat butt to the gym today!  It was the first time I've been there in a good month, probably two.  It felt really GOOD.  The issue, and I knew this & KNOW this...I can't come home.  I MUST go straight to the gym.  Tomorrow only Dad has softball & its a late game...so I will be able to go to the gym again.  YAY!  I think I'll sleep better tonight because of my trip to the gym.

For it being a Monday, especially a Monday without my Sunday afternoon nap...its been a good day!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Whisper In Blindness

I dislike having to drive Mom to Gma's in the morning, I really dislike having to do it on Monday mornings!

I'm sure my Sunday afternoon nap (or lack there of!) is a mind over matter thing. I slept for SH*T! I went to bed at about 23:45 & tossed and turned all night. I couldn't tell you how often I looked at the clock. THEN, I was awake before the alarm went off. Just ERRRRRRRRR. Happy Monday.

Whine whine whine.

13I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phillipians 4:13 (KJV)

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Angel Eyes

I don't know where this thought came from...but it sucks that honesty sometimes hurts.

Some people said things to me this weekend, that just stung.  I don't believe the comments were meant to be hurtful, at all.  They were being honest.  Chances are, the people didn't even realize their comments stung. 

The bigger problem, as a "tell it like it is" type of person...how often do I hurt people (unintentionally) with my blunt mouth?  My Dad raised me to believe "Sticks & Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  I've grown to realize that couldn't be further from the truth sometimes.

I didn't get my nap today, so in theory, I should be overtired.  BUT No.  I'm not "normal". 

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

My Deja Vu

I have an attitude problem right now. I know I do, so its best that I just stick to myself for a bit. A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E! That's ME. PMS, probably...but whatever.

Things didn't go as planned today, so I didn't get my required Sunday afternoon nap.

Mom & Jo are going on vacation this week, with Gma & Gpaw. Good for them, I'm happy for them. I'm NOT in the slightest bit jealous (cause I'd rather go to my job that I dislike than go on a vacation with Gpaw). I'm just getting OVERLY annoyed by my Mom mainly. She's filled with so much anxiety over the trip, she's driving me nuts!

Dad claims he's not playing softball (or going to any of my games either) while Mom & Jo are gone. You have NO idea how upset this makes me. Tears and boiling blood. Great combo. Its one of those things I can't really explain.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me. Psalm 23:4 (NIV)

I'm going to start drafting my letter (for Pastor D)/gathering my thoughts regarding the situation happening with David's Friends. How do I say "We all really dislike Co-Teacher B. She insults us, she's rude, she's bossy. Either she goes or we go." without sounding so harsh and stuff? The funny thing is, I went in thinking I wouldn't like Co-Teacher R, but she's been okay. I'd probably like her MORE without the sidekick. I've prayed about the situation, and I just can't, in good faith, let the issue go. After talking with most of the group today, getting outsiders input, etc. I feel like I'd be letting everyone down to not say something.

Just blah.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Just An Image

Teaching Children's Church went about 100 times better than I thought it would.  It did help that I had GREAT co-teachers today!  Next week, I've got 1 blah one...and 1 good one. 

There is mass chaos going on with David's Friends.  As one of the natural leaders (read...Big Mouths) of the group, its falling upon my shoulders to step up and say something.  Jo is actually willing to step up and say something too.  We will see how things unfold!

I had the pleasure of dealing with Red's Family a lot today.  Red "T, have I mentioned you look absolutely adorable this morning?"  "Thanks Red."  Red's Dad "Red, its comments like that, that confuse her beyond belief.  Would you just make her your wife already?"  Nice.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Always Have Always Will

Things in my life, things in my head...are about as clear as MUD!  Whatever.  It is what it is. 

Don't sweat the small stuff, its all small stuff. 

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Captain Nemo

I just got off the phone with a buddy of mine...and he said "Why worry about the stuff you can't control?" regarding the problems going on in his life, issues regarding our lives.  If I could truly adopt that attitude, the way he has, that'd be COOL! 

I love my friends!  Nothing more, nothing less!

FACE VALUE!  Don't read into anything...NOTHING!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Perfect World

Something happened at home last night, and I realized I tolerate more than I should, more than most would regarding my Dad, the way he treats me, and disrespects me.  I just had to count to 5 and walk away from him again.  As a person that avoids conflict & confrontation as much as possible, I'm going to have to sit down and TALK to my Dad soon.  YUCK!  I know I can't attempt talking to my Dad until I'm calm though, cause other wise I'll sink to his level and YELL or I'll cry and get nothing accomplished.

Right now, my blood is boiling.  2 totally separate issues (today, forget about last night already), small issues to an extent, but its the principle, plus its everything compounding. 

#1) My parents complain about money (and lack there of) like the best of us.  Yet, they do STUPID stuff with their money.  I know if Mom had her way, she'd give it ALL away.  I just can't help but get VERY annoyed when they give money to those that can't/won't help themselves.  Yes, its their money...do as they please...yet don't complain about not having any when you give it to losers.

#2)  I eat VERY little food in this house.  99% of the food I eat, I buy!  My Dad REFUSES to let me keep ONE water bottle in the freezer!  I used to keep TWO in there, but he's been such an idiot lately...I'd settle for one.  Now, I can't keep ANY!  The ONLY item I want to keep in the freezer, ONE freaking thing...and I can't!  The only thing I keep in the fridge is Salad Dressing, A1, lettuce, & cucumbers.  1 thing in the freezer is to much to ask. 

I could go on and on....but I'll stop.  I'm going to go cry myself to sleep.  NAPS RULE!

*Note:  I KNOW, for the great majority, I have it VERY good here.  I'm just getting fed up lately with the lack of respect that I get from my Dad especially!

I'd rather be HATED for who I am, than LOVED for who I'm not!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Don't Go Away

Rise & Shine! My one day to sleep in and I had to set the alarm for 09:15. I guess that is sleeping in when I wake up about 05:15-06:15 during the week.

I'm off to TOY's baseball game in a minute. I hate that I have to drive an hour or so to get there, but he's worth it! Its probably the last time I'll get to see JJ pregnant. (Okay, so I'll probably (HOPEFULLY!) get to the hospital BEFORE Baby is born...but you know what I mean).

I'm getting VERY excited for Baby to get here! Baby can come anytime now in the doctors opinion. YAY! I'm glad Baby stayed baking long enough. Now, of course...in our opinions...we can't have the Baby this Tuesday (we don't want a 06/06/06 baby) and it can't come next Friday (06/16/06, that's JM's birthday)...other than that Baby can come whenever it wants. Of course...it was a Friday night-Sunday night would work out best for me. ;-) Yes, I'm picky. Wait...Baby have Mommy go into Labor at about 07:00 M-F so I can leave hell, I mean, work! Baby baby baby!!!!!!!!

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Blooming 18

I've always been a blunt, tell it like it is, person.

Head out of the gutters ya'll...

I don't know what the heck is wrong...but I'm in pain.  A lot of pain!  The under/outside of my left boob is hurting.  Its like a shooting pain.  (For the paranoid, I don't feel any type of lumps everything looks "normal" & it doesn't hurt any more when touched.)  It started a couple of hours ago & just keeps getting worse.  I really don't want to have to go to the stupid doctor over this.  Hopefully its growing pains.  ;-)  So, a girl can dream!

Regarding the Health Issues I was discussing here.  Unless I take time off of work, the EARLIEST I can get these issues addressed is 07/06/06.  There is a slight chance I could get in (at a different office) on 06/27/06 (without having to take time off work).  Without having medical insurance, its like jumping thru a flaming hoop.  Also...why does the medical community make you feel like crap for not having insurance?  This is all stuff I'm prepared to pay out of my pocket for!  Not that I like doing that, but its life...and I've got to do what's best for ME.

Dude...I'm rambling AGAIN!  STUPID FLY!  DIE ALREADY!

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Kiss Me

Things I dislike about Summer:

Flies! There is a random fly flying around this room right now and its annoying the piss out of me!

~~~~
Onto more interesting (or boring) things...also known as Princess Whiny B*tch rambles...

The events that have unfolded in the past 7 days have helped me out a great deal. My self confidence is at a level it hasn't been in a long time. My ability to be me, the real me (the ME I've been looking for) is starting to slowly, with caution, come back. I managed to step outside my social phobic box on more than 1 occasion. My ability to open up & trust people (with caution, of course!) amazes me. I really was doubting my ability to ever trust people in certain aspects again.

Of course, this does NOT mean...I am 100% fine. I'm still, for sure, going to have my social phobic moments, I'm not the person I want to be yet. It doesn't mean that I won't get sad & crappy about being single, which does have its benefits ;-). Doesn't mean I won't get depressed either...cause that's bound to happen (especially if I continue to not sleep!)

I'm proud of me, I'm making & taking steps to become the person I want to be. I want to be ME...I just want to be outgoing, louder, confident, independent, friendly, & social. I used to be all those things, so I know I can get there again!

I wish I could explain things better, cause I feel like they are as clear as mud...but I can't. It does suck that there isn't a single person that I can really explain my life to right now. Well, there are 2...but 1, has different priorities, and 2, something about I won't put ALL the effort forward. Blah. ;-) Things are a little scary, but whatever...I'll take it & run with it. ;-) Growing up, moving on, getting over things. Its all good in the 'hood. I like to talk (type) in circles.

Go Tigers!

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Que Sera

I'm alive & well...basically.

The issues with my friends are slowly maybe working themselves out.  Jealous is a dangerous thing.  Communication is a smart thing.

The only real plans I have for this weekend, involve teaching Children's Church on Sunday morning.  Other than that, slave labor at home, resting, watching TV, and playing online...exciting.

Like all, trust none.  Go ponder.

God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good!

Overdose

The following came courtesy of my boss/friend Jess. My favorites are in green.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies.
(Unknown)

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
-Janette Barber

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being -- hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
-Rhonda Hansome

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
-Jane Sellman

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen

I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited

If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Catherine

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!