In case I haven't mentioned it lately, I hate being bipolar. I HATE IT. That's all. Have a nice day.

Go Tigers!
Go Red Wings!

God is love.

Contest

5 dollar dinners is the place to be. She's got a cool contest going on. Check it out.

God is love.

POTD

Taken: Jan 2009

That's my cousin Dany & Gma. This was taken at Gma's 80th birthday party. That's my least favorite cousin standing on the right hand side. He's a rude jerkball and he's only 10. Gma's birthday fell on MLK day, so it worked well for everyone to get together. Gma is GREAT to be 80, considering nearly 3 years ago we were planning her funeral and now she's walking again and living on her own. Go Gma!

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

POTD

Picture of the day...

Taken: April 2009
That adorable, chatty and sassy girl in the sunglasses is my friend's daughter. We were at the Detroit Zoo and she was waiting to go in the prairie dog exhibit. Chatty (that's what we call her) holds a dear place in my heart. I was supposed to be at the hospital when she was born. Well, she decided to make her entry into the world the ONE day in May of 1999 that I couldn't be there. It was ST's senior prom. Her mom and I went to school together (in first grade, then middle & high school), worked together (and car pooled there). We lost contact for a few years but found each other again thru myspace. Its so nice to have my friend and Chatty back in my life.

God is love.

POTD

Picture of the day...

Taken: May 2008
This picture was taken in my friend's front yard. He flies his US flag with pride (and takes it down at night). This nice May day, we were just chilling at his house, doing yardwork, and washing cars. I love that there wasn't a cloud in the sky when I took this picture.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Supermom's towel give a way.

I want to win this! Its a cute personalized towel and she has two color choices and one is GREEN. We all know I love all things green. Green is by far my favorite color since people think tie die isn't a color.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Check on that blog. Just a fun blog about her family.

God is love.

POTD

Picture of the Day...


Taken: June 2008
Cool Gma and Gpa with the Mickey Mouse statue inside Comerica Park, home of my beloved Detroit Tigers. Gpa is the biggest Tigers fan I know and this was his first time to a game at Comerica Park (Tigers moved there in 2000, and Gpa lives about 200 miles away). He was SOOOO excited, yet SHOCKED at how much things cost. He wanted to bring $50 to pay for parking and whatever else we all needed/wanted (6 adults). LOL.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

I am a HUGE country music fan. I listen to very little of anything else (a tad boy band stuff and Christian pop). I couldn't tell you the number of country artists I've seen in concert. If money wasn't an option, it would be MANY more. I am currently watching George Strait: ACM Artist of the Decade All Star Concert. AMAZING. I saw George Strait in concert once. It was in June of 1999. Fabulous.

The weather is crappy and rainy here. Better clear up, we've got softball at 7:30pm. Hopefully I will be feeling better by then though. For the past 30 hours, my GI problems have been acting up. I ate pain pills like candy yesterday. Good thing about that, I slept from 1:30am-8:15am straight! Then cat napped until 9:45am.

Mom hasn't been doing that well since Sunday. Highly annoying. I know that's how it is, but it doesn't mean its easy to deal with. I am not annoyed at her, just annoyed at her health, which she has little to no control over.

God is love.

(Catch up #3) Picture of the day...

Taken: Sept 2008
That's my nephew Jax. I spent at least one day a week babysitting him for a few months. This was the middle of a tantrum. I am a mean babysitter. I am the adult, he is not. No means no. And I'm OKAY with him having tantrums. Jax is really a sweet little boy but ALL boy. He loves to cuddle with me now and I love it. When he stays at my parents now, he won't go to bed with cuddles from his Aunt T.

And, now I am all caught up.

God is love.

(Catch up #2) Picture of the Day...

Taken: December 2008
That's Buddie, our lovely dog. She is almost 11 years old (she'll be 11 in August). Mom and I were playing the snow, making snow angels. Buddie wanted to play to, but she wouldn't leave the porch. She still had an inch or two of snow on the porch.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

(Catch up #1) Picture of the Day...

Taken: March 2009
Cool car with funky paint (just the way I like it!) at Detroit's Autorama at Cobo Hall. My Dad and I are crazy car buffs. Autorama opens at 10am. We are always IN LINE by 9am. My Dad feels the need to be the first people in line. Where I think my dad is crazy for getting there that early (Cobo Hall is about 1.5 hours from Farmville USA), by being the first people in, you get a good look at a lot of cars before the major crowds.

God is love.

Picture of the Day...

Taken: December 2008
Mom & Dad on the wagon ride to cut down our Christmas tree. It was after a huge snow storm, snow was up to our waist in places. Fun stuff.

I owe ya'll 3 other pictures. I'll catch up sooner or later.

God is love.

Picture of the Day is back. Depending on how the day goes, I might even try to catch up.

This was taken last June, at Shell's birthday party. That's Shell & her Dad. She's sporting her baby belly (about 3 weeks before Baby Girl's arrival) and her dad sporting his beer belly. :-)

God is love.

I haven't forgot about my picture a day post, but I just haven't been home since Saturday morning, so my picture frame isn't around to inspire me. I'll be back home tomorrow, I think. I wasn't sure I'd be away for a night, let alone three. Good thing I always pack for a few days.

We got Roomie's wedding invitations done Saturday, had a great time at J's birthday party Saturday night. Sunday, I went to the Tigers game with Shell, J, Butler, and 4 other friends. Nose bleed seats but they were good (& CHEAP!) seats. Of course, since I was there...the Tigers lost. Then Shell, J, and I went to dinner and then to see Night at the Museum on IMAX. I am NOT a big movie goer by any means. I actually liked the movie and IMAX was sweet. Today, I spent hanging on with my friend. We caught up on our TV shows, went to dinner, took a walk, and watched more of our TV shows. Now he's in bed and I'm playing catch up on the computer junk.

God is love.

If you've read here any amount of time, you know I have terrible bi-polar/depression issues which my insomnia issues go hand in hand with that. Its strange, lately while sleeping my hands are falling asleep and its waking me up. And when I wake up, most of the time, I'm UP. Of course, because I usually take something to make me sleep, its not good to be UP that early.

Mom and I had a GREAT day today. We went to Shell, visited with her and baby girl, the four of us then did lunch at Olive Garden, then Mom and I did some shopping at Lowes. We were able to find new cushions for the patio chairs that Mom was looking for. We don't love them but like them enough. Mom LOVED seeing Baby Girl. Mom had only seen her once (at my surprise birthday party in November) and barely remembered. Then, Mom & I went to visit my Uncle (her brother-in-law) in the nursing home. He went into the hospital right after Easter, and now is in a nursing home getting strong enough to go back home. Uncle thinks 12 more days. He looks SOOOO much better then when I saw him 4 days after he went into the hospital.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Picture of the Day...

That's my cousin Dany (she's 22 now) and Favorite Aunt (Dany's step-mom). This photo was taken December 23, 2007 at Mom's side of the family's Christmas shin dig. Aren't they beautiful? At family functions, if I'm not with the little kids, I'm usually with these two. Dany is one of the craziest greatest people ever. The girl manages to work full time, attend Michigan State University full time (and usually makes the Dean's List), and party like a ROCK STAR! Favorite Aunt just rocks. She loves Jesus and sets a great example. Favorite Aunt loves the Red Wings, loves me, and has the sweetest kids ever. (Favorite Aunt is married to Mom's youngest brother.)

God is love.

I'm still praying Pat's prayer and this holiday weekend is another slap in the face reminder that I am single. Single and hating it.

I'm also praying for a cure for depression. I just want a snap my fingers cure for it.

God is love.

I am really enjoying doing this picture a day thing. :-)

Today's goodness...

That's my friend in all his scrubbiness. This was taken in early March 2009. I'm sure I looked just as scrubby that day. We were at our favorite scrapbook store working on something for his sister's surprise 30th birthday party.

God is love.

Picture of the Day...

This picture was taken June 9, 2008 at Comerica Park, home of my beloved Detroit Tigers.

My parents, cool Grandparents, Jo & I went to the game. Dontrell Willis started and SUCKED...which is why I still dislike him as he's trying to make his comeback. There also was a long (like 1.5 hours) rain delay. Due to the rain delay, lots of people left and we got to move from row 35 to about row 10. Carlos Guillen hit a foul ball that I caught! :-) Go me! This was during the time that I was still pretty ill, so getting out of the house for such a long day was amazing.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

I got a digital picture frame for my birthday 6 months ago. I love it. I decided I am going to post (daily, is my goal) a picture that catches my eye that day and give ya'll a little story about the photo. To bad I wasn't better at formatting this junk.

Today's photo is of my brother-in-law (previously known as JJ's boyfriend du jour) with my cool Gma and Aunt in the background. This was taken Dec 2008 while "celebrating" Christmas with my Dad's family. I put "celebrating" in quotes for the fact that it wasn't much of a celebration. I basically dread holidays these days and I hate that Dad's side of the family has switched how Christmas is done so I highly doubt I'll ever like Christmas with them again.

God is love.

Here is where I continue to offend the few readers I have.

I can't stand how our society runs right to get a divorce the minute there are problems within a marriage.

As someone who isn't married I know my opinion doesn't hold much weight.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned to a friend about problems my Grandparents were having. She said "tell them they aren't to old to divorce." WTF.

Now, with the famous reality TV couple Jon & Kate Gosselin (from Jon & Kate Plus 8) are having problems that are all over the entertainment news, everyone is like "just hurry up and get a divorce."

Why can't people work things out?

I am anti-divorce. There are VERY FEW times I think divorces are warranted. Til Death do us part, doesn't mean anything anymore and that makes me very sad. Its part of what makes me a tad commitment phobic.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Okay, if that only really made me feel better.

Living at my parents house isn't that bad, most of the time, but lately its driving me fuc*ing insane.

Just because I don't have a job doesn't mean I am always free to do whatever they need/want me to do. Don't get me started on the fact that sometimes I don't want to do what they feel they need/want me to.

Add in that this house is so freaking LOUD. ESPECIALLY my bedroom. I know I am a very light sleeper, but this house makes it damn near impossible to get any sleep. My parents live on wide open farm land and the wind is just terrible. My entire room SHAKES with the wind. I got 4 hours of very broken sleep last night (from 5am-9am) which was so broken, its a joke.

I just want to punch everything. I am sick of Mom comparing Jo and I SOOOOOOOOO much. She doesn't see that she does it. I mentioned it two times lately. Seriously, another thing that just makes me want to end this madness I call life.

God is love.

Roughly 4 years ago, Jo & I started praying "Pat's prayer". I know I mentioned it here a few million times.

Its a prayer for a job, husband, and a car.

Well, that's our prayer once again.

I need the job and the husband (Jo's got a boyfriend, that's good enough for now) and she needs a car.

Seriously the job and husband thing are much needed.

I can't handle the single life much longer. Another summer of it, and it might be the death of me yet. The holidays are rough and then summer comes and there are all kinds of couple like things to do. Add on that I feel surrounded by couples, not that I am...but its how I feel. Also, the couples I'm around don't make me feel like an extra wheel at all, its within myself. Add on that the tension between Red and myself is worse then ever. I am semi-avoiding him. Add on that my friend and I have this strange dynamic (which works for us, for the majority) where when we are together, we are together but when we aren't we aren't. Our friends and his family act/think/treat us like we are together. I don't want what we "have" anymore. I want and deserve more then that!

The job thing is exactly that. I need a job. For the money and for my mental health.

God is love.

I know I am bi-polar. I know my moods swing terribly very often. Living in this house, with these people doesn't help in the slightest!

They make me feel like crap more often then not. I say it often, and I mean it more than anyone knows...I wish I could move to a far off land. I wish I was smart enough to figure out a way to die instead of live in this house with these people. They are my parents and I love them and know they love me but they don't see or care how horrible they are to me sometimes.

Currently, Mom is mad at me cause I said she wasn't doing well enough to go places. WHATEVER. KISS MY ASS. You aren't. You've been crying since I came downstairs. Your words are bad, you are shaking. I am a very social phobic person, I don't need to take you places when you are going to draw more attention to you then you already do.

I'm sick of being miserable more often then not yet I see no way to make things any better or different.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

I'm sure I'll take sh*t for what I'm going to say...but since I said it to my parents, I am saying it here too:

Mother's Day is a a stupid (hallmark) holiday.

I feel the same way about Father's Day, Sweetest Day, Valentine's Day and a bunch of other fluff type "holidays".

I'm told I will feel different if I ever become a mother. That's possible, but doubtful.

My reasoning is, you should treat/show your Mother/Father/Loved one that you care and appreciate them often, not just on a special day. I don't come from a huge gift giving/receiving family so its not about the cost. For those that don't feel appreciated often, I can see how they want a special day. I pray I never find myself in a relationship where I am not appreciated daily.

Obviously, since I know most people don't feel the way I do, I do acknowledge the day. I took Mom on an adventure on Thursday to celebrate. I told the Mom's at Church "Happy Mother's Day".

God is love.

I haven't gotten quality sleep lately. Not since Monday, for sure. Last night, was the worst. I had one of the worst dreams of my life. I don't remember any details, I just remember that my nephew TOY (the 11 year old, the middle one) was murdered by his Mom and/or Step-Father. HORRIBLE, I tell you.

My sister, JJ and her husband and three boys will be coming here for the weekend. The situation with me and JJ is back to being strained. I do NOT want her here. Her kids, YES...excited to see them, but not her nor her husband.

God is love.

I suck at blogging lately. I won't make excuses but I'm just busy and spend to much time on facebook and junk.

Roomie's wedding shower was this weekend.

Here are the girls (minus the flower girl)

L to R: Me, Steph (one of my best buds), Roomie, her sister, and Roomie's BFF.






Roomie & her Fiance.











Mom and I are (hopefully) going "on a big adventure" tomorrow to celebrate Mother's Day. Obviously, with her health, I have to remember to be flexible, which I'm not good at.


The new swimming pool is being install this week...well, its currently filling. We have well water...so the water pressure to shower is TERRIBLE to start with. Now, 2 hoses working to fill the pool and the water pressure is a JOKE. TERRIBLE. I am a bath taker at night, part of my routine (since I have such a strange time sleeping anyways)...but I am NOT going out to fight with the animals of the farmville USA to turn hoses off to take a bath tonight. UGH.

I found a swimsuit top I loved a few weeks ago. I couldn't find a bottom at all. I finally ordered one online. It should be here soon...hopefully it works!

I have my first fitting for my bridesmaids dress for Roomie's wedding next week. I'm nervous the dress will be to small or something. Whatever.

I am joining a golf league through Church. We will golf every other Friday starting the first Friday in June. :-) I am nervously excited. We will be doing 4 person scrambles with four teams. Males/females mixed together.

God is love!