Stayin' Alive

I'm annoyed. I really don't have that great of reasons to be annoyed, I just AM.

I came clean to my friend Chelle (from David's friends) about Red, and she just was blah about it. I wanted an opinion, support, a smack, something, and I got a big fat nothing.

When I mentioned to Jo, Chelle's response...she basically said something about things being obvious. Interesting.

This Red situation is REALLY consuming to much of my thoughts. God's time. Someone bottle of patience and give them TO ME NOW!!!!!!

Lots more going on, lots more to say...but my head is way overly consumed.

T out.

Into The Groove

*Friendly reminder*

This is MY blog. My life, my thoughts, my opinions. I don't sugar coat life. Deal with it.

T out.

Gonna Have A Party

Sigh. I don't even know where to start. I am *SO* broke, for the next month...actually, I'm negatively BROKE. Okay...I'm not in the negative technically, but if I ate or something, I would be. I keep reminding myself that if my largest problems in life are financial, I'm doing good. in the grand scheme of life, if this is the brokest (is that a word?) I ever get, I'm doing good. Think of all those people that live off less then $1 a day...right Jo?

I'm going to be VERY busy thru mid August. I have NO choice but to work as much as they will let me. Throw in the normal craziness of my life as of late, plus Mom's surgery (that will be happening 70+ miles from where I sleep usually). Add in that I feel like I can't quit drama, and we have a HUGE project taking place August 7-12.

Of course, now that things seem to be moving in a positive direction, I have NO spare time to date. Oh well. God's plan, God's time. I know, I know.

I have to do some major Red butt kissing tomorrow. I need a husband, he's the perfect candidate. If he'll be my husband, we'd actually have to find time to spend together. I'm talking about drama stuff, of course. ;-)

I should get some sleep...since I am going to work bright & freaking early. Sleep is over-rated. My head is full of everything and nothing. WEEEEEEEE. I didn't nap today. What a shock, that's why I'm overtired and bouncing off walls. Maybe I should go dance for Jo now. She LOVES that.

T out.

Drive

I still don't have a clue what I'm doing regarding this drama club gig. I should make up my mind soon...say...in less then 1.5 hours.

Mom is on my last nerve, and its the 1st day I've seen her since Thursday early AM. I pray that I don't ever have to face the things she does, but if I do, someone just shoot me. I would HATE to burden my family the way she burdens us. That sounds harsh, my Mom isn't a burden, but she just requires lots LOTS LOTS of time, work, care, and patience.

Off to pray, so that hopefully, God will show me what I need to do regarding this drama gig. I want to quit, but W's aren't quitters. I want to take a break, but I'll feel like I'm letting the entire group down.

That's all she wrote.

The Dark End Of The Street

Hehehehe! Spent time with Red today. I'm giddy like a little kid in a candy store.

I actually spent time with my sister, Red, and his family. His family is his parents, his 2 older sisters, and his nephew. I love seeing him with his nephew (David will be 1 on July 4th.) I'm *so* glad I'm in like flynn with his family. LMAO. 1 less thing to fight about. Its fun. I just adore his family. The more time I spend with his mom, I really like her. She's VERY quiet compared to the rest of his family...then again, I'm VERY quiet compared to Red, his oldest sister, and his Dad!

Seems as if Dad & Red's Mom are pushing things. ;-) Things don't need pushing...it will work out on God's time, God's way...but maybe this is God's way. Its all good until someone gets hurt. Now, Dad's going to start working on Yellow for Jo. LMAO. I'm so goofy right now. (Yellow is a guy on the men's softball team. The 1st day I met him, he had on BRIGHT yellow pants, so the name stuck)

Church tonight was pretty just pointless, I guess. It was about missions, which is imporant, but I just feel like we shouldn't just TALK about it...but DO SOMETHING. I'm weird...but weird is good.

Oh yeah, back to Red. I didn't realize until today, he's a huge computer nerd. HUGE. He's telling me that I should just build a computer/tivo type setup. Yeah...right. He should just do it for ME. He'll learn its easier to do computer stuff FOR me, then to TEACH me. He didn't realize what a gear-head I am, to be a girl. He was talking about horsepower, transmissions, then about drive-shafts, and hello...I knew what he was talking about.

I'm so giddy, I could dance in a circle.

Have I mentioned lately, I want to quit drama club? More on that later. I need to pray about it, before I make some ration choices...but really, I think until the fall, it might be best for me.

T out.

Lady Of Spain

Bold the states you've been to, underline the states you've lived in and italicize the state you're in now...

Alabama / Alaska / Arizona / Arkansas / California / Colorado / Connecticut / Delaware / Florida / Georgia / Hawaii / Idaho / Illinois / Indiana / Iowa / Kansas / Kentucky / Louisiana / Maine / Maryland / Massachusetts / Michigan / Minnesota / Mississippi / Missouri / Montana / Nebraska / Nevada / New Hampshire / New Jersey / New Mexico / New York / North Carolina / North Dakota / Ohio / Oklahoma / Oregon / Pennsylvania / Rhode Island / South Carolina / South Dakota / Tennessee / Texas / Utah / Vermont / Virginia / Washington / West Virginia / Wisconsin / Wyoming / Washington D.C. /

I need to get out more! The West Coast is calling my name. I hear it.

Wearing White

Its Sunday afternoon, and I don't get to take a nap! Something is wrong with this picture!

I love my Dad dearly, and he's VERY lucky I do! If I didn't love him dearly, I would probably kill him today.

Typically, before/during/after any Church events, we (Jo & I) chit chat, laugh with, cause trouble with, get in trouble with our groupies from David's Friends. Today was no different. After Church, Dad had to go talk to the Pastor and a few other people, so Jo & I were standing in the lobby and Red walked down from upstairs and kicked me in the butt. So, then we were chit chatting and took are silly selves outside. We were just being us, weird. Weird is a good thing. Then my Dad finally comes outside. He starts going on and on (to Red, but LOUD enough so the other 20 people outside could hear) about stuff. DAD...SHHHHHHHHHHH! Its a SECRET. Our Church gossips WAY to much. No one needs to know anything. There is nothing to know.

I don't know if I have ever explained "David's Friends". David's Friends is our "20 something) group at Church. We meet on Wednesday nights, and are between 18-29 years old, expect for our fearless leader, Pastor is 37. We have lots of fun together, at Church, and just in life. For the majority, as a group, we see each other a good 4 nights a week. David's Friends rule. I could pick up the phone and call any one of them any day, any time (like 04:00) and they would drop the world to be there for me. They are the kind of people that I would take a bullet for. (So, many people in the group, I would only take a bullet to the foot for, but you get my point) Its called David's Friends because one of the girls has a son, named David, and the 1st few weeks of the group, we were having more fun playing with David then doing anything else. David's Friends currently has: (I've got to make a list, I can't just count and remember)

1. Pastor D (37)
2. Me (25)
3. Jo (19)
4. Red (21)
5. Red's oldest sister (27)
6. Red's older sister, David's mother (23)
7. Mell (24)
8. Thick (27)
9. ERob (19)
10. Little Troy (18)
11. Chelle (29)
12. McSmile (24)
13. Lizzy (18)
14. And whatever random people show up

currently has 13 people in it. The 13 of us are there all the time, others come and go.

Another thing semi-related to my David's Friends. ERob got into a bad car accident last week. His car is totalled, he's very sore and very grateful to be alive. Maybe he'll stop doing 100mph all the time and stop riding everyone's butt!!!!

I'm avoiding doing work! ;-)

T out.

Love Potion #9

I haven't laughed so hard in a LONG LONG LONG TIME!

Story #1) Its just after 20:30, I am standing at the kitchen sink rinsing off my dishes. Above our kitchen sink is a window, that allows you to see the majority of our back yard, including our pool. Dad is outside tinkering with the filter. We live on a farm basically. No one has fences, everyone has between 4-20 acres. I see this big black dog running across our yard, towards my dad's backside. Ringo (our "next door" neighbor, but they aren't that close) is a huge black lab. Ringo puts his nose right up my Dad's butt. My Dad jumps about 5 feet off the ground, totally scaring the shit out of him.

Story #2) About 23:00, I get a call from SML. I can tell by the sound of his voice, he's PISSED about something. Okay, SML works for a cell phone company, and his little shop is inside a larger electronics store. SML got locked in the store tonight. LMAO!!!!!!! He was still locked in the store when he called me. Apparently the local cops were sitting outside, because he had set off the alarms. Don't worry...he's out now, and sitting peacefully at his house. But still...he got LOCKED IN!

Its an Y chromosome thing.

That's all she wrote.

Good Riddance

Ahhh. I'm just sitting at home, R-E-L-A-X-I-N-G, on a Saturday night. Its SO nice.

Mom is still up north. I haven't talked to her. Dad has, says she's doing very well. YAY! Tomorrow we have tons of household stuff to do, because the messes that Mom left us, haven't been totally cleaned yet. For example, she started trying to do laundry and there is towels, sweats, sheets, and dress clothes ALL in the washer together at the moment. I'm in for a FUN day of laundry tomorrow. I know some of my guy buddies think all that stuff can go together...it SHOULDN'T. ;-)

Mentally, I'm doing very well. Yay! In the past few days, I've really realized I'm in a good place mentally, regarding some issues in my life. Yet, I'm fearful...because I know ME, and I know I won't stay there forever.

Today was Roe's wedding shower. Shell, Cris, and I rode together. I had a good time, as far as showers go. I hadn't seen Roe is 14 months,and have barely talked to her in that time. I miss her so much. I really hope she's happy.

Have I ever mentioned before, that know it all's get on my nerves?

T out.

Home Sick

My ankle HURTS. I've iced it for 20 on/20 off for about 1.5 hours now. I think its time for some good ole' drugs. Softball sucked today. I sucked today. I wouldn't be whining about my ankle if I would have caught the ball with my glove, not bounced the ball off my ankle. We lost by 1. I love when my Dad goes. Our umpires SUCK. My Dad knows the RULES left, right, inside and out. The ump wants to argue with my Dad. Of course, Dad was right. This isn't the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd time that my Dad has proved this ump wrong this season, and a teammate proved him wrong once too. I struck out. Yep...like I said, I sucked today. BAD. The best part about me striking out...2 batters later, this little thing named Jo, who was already picking on me, struck out.

July 11-12 I have vacation days. July 11, Jo & I are going to a fair, to see a concert that is about 1.5 hours from home. We planned this awhile ago, vacation was approved, tickets were bought. We are really looking forward to it.

Dad scheduled Mom's surgery today. July 11. I'm guessing we will just have to make game time decisions, and if we waste tickets, we waste them. Mom is more important...but at the same time, sitting around a hospital doesn't do alot of good either. (By the time of the concert, she'll be out of surgery...so we'll be able to relax some) Also, the surgery date is subject to change. She has to go 10 days seizure free. Since that hasn't happened in a few months now...we shall see. I'd rather not get into the details about the surgery yet. I will as it gets closer, as I get more info.

Game 7 of the NBA Finals is on. Go Spurs Go! Yes, I like bugging Jo.

Mom is up north. YAY! I should be able to sleep from when I go to sleep until my alarm goes off. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My brain says I have more to type about but my eyes are saying its time for bed.

T out.

This Is How We Do It

Punctuality is one of my biggest pet peeves. I can't handle lateness. I'm VERY rarely late for important things. (While Shell is important, telling her I will be at her house at 16:00 and I don't get there until 16:20 doesn't count)

As I said, Dad & I are carpooling today. We were to leave about 3 minutes ago, and he's in the shower still. ERRRRRRRRR.

T out.

Butterflyz

God doesn't give me more then I can handle. I'm a FIRM believer in that, but seriously, God must know I'm a stronger and tougher person that I think I am.

I'm going to be on a war path today, just to warn ya'll. I've been awake since 03:50. I didn't go to bed until after 12:30, and I was awake at least 2 times in there. My Mom has a mess all over the house. She has NO clue what is going on. She's all worked up about her upcoming surgery (more on that later) and excited about going up north. If I was in charge, she would NOT be going up north. I'm willing to bet money Dad has to go up there and get her AGAIN. I am also willing to bet money that I come home from work to all the messes Mom made, cause God knows Jo won't clean them.

I agree 100% with my Dad about quality of life over quantity regarding my Mom's health...but giving her quality (that she bitches NON STOP that we control!) is causing me to lose MY quality and lately probably my quantity.

I have learned to not make snap decisions when I am THIS tired, but in the next few days I've got some thinking and praying to do.

Technically tonight is our last softball game. I better get a freaking nap or me going will be POINTLESS and DANGEROUS.

World, get some sleep for me.

Peace, love, and sleep to all.

Don't Cha

I don't get to spend enough time with my friends lately...especially my friend S-L-E-E-P!

Carpooling with Dad tomorrow cause I'm nice. 05:20 comes WAY to earlier.

David's Friends was cool. The boys were actually QUIET!

T out.

Great Balls Of Fire

No one should even need to ask, who this is about...
He's missing 1 thing, height. (He's real close to my height) I can live with that. 2 other things remain to be seen. Add on that we see COMPLETELY eye to eye on religion and politics!

I don't have an ideal partner but in fantasy land my perfect partner would:

Be trustworthy
Funny
Fun
Quick-whitted
Smart
Educated
Family oriented
Christian
Caring
Willing to think outside the box
Like/understand sports
Athletic
Non-Smoker
Tall (say at least 6 feet)
Like my family & friends
Appreciate me for who/what I am
Romantic
Spontaneous
Adventurous

I'll Think Of A Reason Later

I talked to my girl K for awhile tonight. I couldn't tell you the last time I talked to her, our schedules are so hit or miss...plus she lives way to many time zones away. She just rocks! I love & miss her SOOOOOOOOO much! For a long time, we used to chat all night every night. I miss those days. She's got some issues going on in her life, and I just wish I could make them all better. Since, I fell like I'm going to be single forever, the idea of moving out there (AZ) might just happen...not any time soon...but it could happen.

K shed lots of light for me tonight on this Red situation. Stuff I know, just need to hear. Basically, live life with no regrets.

My Mom was REALLY on my nerves tonight. The main issue, she was asking me questions about ST. I have ALWAYS had an ask/tell policy with my parents. I don't just GIVE them info, but if they want to know something, I'll answer them honestly. Mom started asking questions about ST dating. I told her about Ann, that she's a nice girl, that ST is happy, and I'm happy for ST. Mom just went off about how if its meant to be, blah blah blah, and yada yada yada. ST & I are not going to be together. Its something I have came to terms with. Some days are easier then others. ST & I (and maybe someday, hopefully Ann & I) are friends. I'm cool with that. Why is that a hard concept? I feel a slight weight lifted, that I told Mom about Ann. Silly, I know.

Tomorrow is David's Friends. I'm looking forward to it. I'm guessing 11 people (counting the Pastor). I think I might need to sit where I sat last week. ;-) LMAO at myself. I'm so silly sometimes. I'm WAY overtired. Maybe I should go downstairs and do a dance for Jo...maybe a Go Spurs dance or something.

This Red situation needs to either move forward, or I need to get over the kid. I'm spending way to much time thinking/praying about the issue. Nerd, I know.

Go Spurs! <----- That's for Jo!

Peace, love, and quality sleep to all.

Just A Little Pill

Work was 100 times better today than I was expecting!!!!!! Not great, but good! YAY! Guess I shouldn't have wasted so much time (precious sleep time!) stressing about it.

Softball is calling...

T out.

When Boy Meets Girl

So, I'm not going to work today. Call it a mental health day, call it being a girl sucks, call it "I've slept for SHIT the past 2 nights, driving 75 minutes one way isn't safe*"...I don't care, I call it...I'm not going to work today. Since last Monday, I've had a REALLY sugar attitude about work, it ONLY got worse as the day went on. Hopefully tomorrow, I'll have a better attitude regarding work. I really don't like feeling this way about my job. I KNOW all jobs have their times where they suck...this shall pass.

*everyone should know that I'm VERY against driving when overtired! Its almost as bad driving drunk!

In my 2 hours of cat napping, tossing and turning last night...I had a dream. I had a dream, I'd like to forget. Yes, another dream about ST & Ann. I know the dream stemmed from him inviting me over to watch the game and/or from my Dad's snottiness when he found out I was on the phone with ST. One of the reasons I didn't go to ST's last night...was because I would of went alone, not something I would like to do. To know I have NO friends that are supportive of ST & I trying to be friends, SUCKS! If everything else would have been going okay (mainly me NOT PMSing and being EXTREMELY overtired!) in my day...chances are, I could have made it alone...I'm learning to do LOTS of things alone. Alone is okay, really. So...the dream. My parents & I went to ST's place. My parents flipped out about Ann. Lots of little things, just about moving on were involved. Lets just say the dream SUCKED.

I'm REALLY sick of the "are you dating soandso?" questions. Some of the soandso's...I have NO idea how the people come up with! World...when I'm really dating someone...you will KNOW.

Dealt with JJ yesterday. She annoys the piss out of me. It gets worse as time goes by. I hate not liking her. I know it breaks my Mom's heart. When I was a teenager she used to yell at me all the time about being "negative", I'd really like to hand her a mirror! For 2 hours yesterday, she went ON AND ON about how terrible John (her ex husband) and Jessica (his gf) are. It was bad enough that she was bashing 2 of the nicest people I know, but she was doing this with her children in ear shot, and she was doing this TO John's dad! She was going on and on about how her life is all roses. Yeah, then don't call here crying all the time.

My plan for today is to SLEEP, do some laundry, cook dinner, hit the new scrapbook store in town. New it claims. We shall see. Same location, new name. Of course, my life, my plans are always subject to change.

Off to read my "Who's Who In The Bible?" book. I should be back to sleep shortly.

Peace, love, and nice weather to all.

That Ain't My Truck

To the entire world: If you get mad at me, that's cool...just TELL me you are mad, and heck, it might be wise to tell me WHY you are mad.

C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N! (something which I'm realizing 99% of the male species SUCK at!)

I'm trying to add pictures to my yahoo account right now, from JM's birthday and its just NOT working. Another thing to annoy me right now.

I've been VERY crabby...easily annoyed all day...MORE THEN NORMAL.

ST called this afternoon, and invited me over to watch the Pistons game with them. For various different reasons, I had to decline. I'm glad he invited me. If I didn't have 10 different reasons, I might have went...but everything on top of each other, just wasn't going to work out.

I went to bed for the night at about 18:45, my stupid family woke me up at 19:45 to sweep/mop the floors. JOY. Like I said...I'm in a grand mood.

Oh yeah...JM's 10th birthday (party) was today. Many moons ago (say...10 years and a few days) when JM was born, we were in a mad rush from the hospital to softball. At the time, my Dad was playing with John & all his buddies. Obviously, John wasn't going since his first child was just born a few hours ago. We stop at Burger King to grab dinner and eat on the run. I've ate Burger King PLENTY of time, plenty of times from this 1 BK. Well, there was NASTY NASTY NASTY grissell-type stuff. I about DIED. That was the END of me eating red meat. For about 5 years, I ate NO red meat at all. If it wasn't chicken/turkey/fish, I wasn't touching it. Slowly, I started adding some more meat...I added pork and venison....then I (mainly due to CRAPPY iron levels) added STEAK...but I still avoided hamburgers/ground beef like the plague...until TODAY. So, 3653 days later, I did it. I ate a hamburger. It wasn't great, it wasn't bad...I'll live to talk about it. Now, ask me if I'll do that again, any time soon? NO! Its a health thing partly, (I do plenty of other bad things, let me cut out 1 bad thing)...plus, hamburger/ground beef is just IN MY HEAD.

Something to ponder...what is weird? what is normal?

T out.

Sick And Tired

I'm home...ready to pass out from exhaustion. My ears and throat are really bothering me, it started as my right ear, but it has spread as the evening went on.

Red should be back in town by now (hopefully/FINALLY!) so I should be able to get my Red fix for a few days. :-) Yes, Jo, I am totally aware that he is 4.5 years younger then me. Yes, Jo, I am totally aware that he's a Lastname.

Dany's grad party was okay today.

Shell & Big A's birthday gig was okay.

I'm just in a funk. I need some time for T.

Tomorrow is JM's 10th birthday party.

I am sick of feeling like my best isn't good enough for any/everyone! I think I need to go back to the "do what is best for T" attitude and basically screw everyone else. We shall see...after I sleep some.

I need to remember/relize I will never find love again if I'm afraid to trust, love, be honest, and communicate. Ahhhhhhhh. Screw it...I'll just be single forever. Its easier. ;-) Oh wait...I'll see Red tomorrow.

I'm weird, I know.

That's all she wrote.

The Woman With You

Time...free time. Someone have extra, willing to give it to me? Someone needs to figure out how to invent more time...free time.

Off to baby cousin Dany's grad party...then to Shell & A's birthday party. No time to blog...

T out.

Old Blue Chair

Went to drop stuff off at my Aunt's today, after work. Visited with her for about an hour, was nice to chit chat with her, while there was no one around. This is the Aunt that annoyed me yesterday. Her boys were sleeping, but I'll see them Saturday. I think she about fell over when I told her that ST was taken, that ST and I remain basically friendly, and that I've met Ann. Then when I told her Ann had a kid, she was (jokingly) like "ST doesn't really like her, he likes the kid." ST would have always rather played with my Aunt's children then deal with the adults in my family.

David's friends was good tonight even though Red wasn't there. :-( It was good in a churchy religious way, the message was good...that's what I'm getting at. We had a good discussion on the "bad" things we do...partying & the opposite sex were the 2 big topics.

This Red situation is taking WAY to much space in my brain right now. Somethings gotta give...SOON.

I've got a lot going on in my brain (see above, and other stuff, of course)...it shall all work itself out, so I pray.

If someone could add about 6-10 hours more to each day, I'd love em' forever! I'm getting ready for bed VERY soon. Sleep is MY friend!

Peace, love, and brain overload to all!

Break This Chain

I talked to one of my favorite people tonight, one of my Aunts. I missed her birthday the end of May because of life, because of being so busy with Mom being so bad, etc. She was so snotty about it. I feel like shit for even bringing it up. I know she has a lot going on right now, her mom is terminally ill, her step-daughters grad party is this weekend, etc.

Red wasn't at softball tonight. He's out of state for some engineering competition (read: nerd!).

I'm busy, I'm tired, I'm crabby. I need more hours in a day.

Dad thinks we are car pooling all next week to save him gas money...we shall see.

I've still got about an hour's worth of stuff to do and I kept this entry short. EEEEEEEEK

T out.

A Little Gasoline

I'm tired, almost to tired to blog, but I won't remember my thoughts come tomorrow.

Softball...we lost. I'm getting annoyed by some women on the team. I'm batting well still, but not good enough. I'm fielding okay, but not good enough. I hate being such a darn (attempted) perfectionist!

Mom is doing almost good. YAY!!!!!!

Michael Jackson is not guilty. Yay! I could have told you that. Now, stop taking the dude to court. Also, parents STOP letting your parents hang out with him.

I don't like when people call me and don't leave me messages. It stresses me out. I'm sure it was nothing, but it just BUGS me. I try to tell myself, if it was important, I'd get a message, the person would call back, etc...but that doesn't work.

There is crap going on with my work. In the next few days, I have to get some paper work filled out, some questions answered, etc. I'm a contract employee, have been for 3.5 years now. We got a letter today, that the company I (technically) work for, got bought out or something. Its really confusing.

I think I'm odd. I live in the metro Detroit area. I just can NOT get into this basketball thing. Go Pistons Go! I'm just not into it. I miss hockey. I used to like basketball when I was like 12...but it just doesn't do a thing for me.

Bed time...NOW.

T out.

We Walk

Its late Sunday night. Another weekend is gone...and where did it go?

My Mom (who is doing almost good!) asked me what I needed to make dinner this week, my answer was "More hours in the day." She did NOT like that answer.

Last night Jo, SML, and I went bowling. Jo won 2 games, I won 2 games. SML only bowled 1 game...and I beat him (but lost to Jo).

Today, after Church, Jo & I went to a grad party. (That's where my rant came from, about Red) It was alright...better then the one the weekend before. Then we went to a Highest Call concert. It was nice. I got to meet one of Jo's best friends (that lives way to far away!)

Another busy week...work, 3 days of softball, drama club, David's friends, Dany's grad party, Shell's birthday shin dig, etc. I also need to do laundry, clean the house, cook, and sleep maybe too.

I hate that my brain doesn't shut off sometimes!

That's all she wrote.

I Heard It Through The Grapevine

Blogger won't let me log in right now, so I have to type this in my email and then C/P it later.

Dude...he's SO cute! The more I talk to him, the cuter he gets. Since I'm really starting to get to know him as a person, the more I like him. Its not just a me thinking he's cute thing...I like him. Eeeeek. I have a crush, I haven't had a crush like this in a LONG time. Hehehehe! I'm talking about Red, of course.

A few months ago, in the middle of my ST dumped me crisis, Shell said something about how in relationships, both people should like the others friends & family, and the friends & family should like them. In my attempting to heal from this ST situation, I realize HOW RIGHT Shell is! I'm already in with Red's family. ;-)

T out.

Jesus Loves The Little Children

Doh! I forgot a few things...

I'd like to put Butt & Red in a room and see who came out alive. They'd kill each other. They both talk ALOT. I don't think they have ever seen competition like the other. That would be funny really.

I might be bowling next season, after all. I don't want to disclose any details right now, because I don't want to screw it up before it happens. Oh, how fun it will be. NO, I'm not stop enough to be thinking of bowling with P, the psycho bitch.

Peace, Love, & Thunderstorms to all.

Playing Chicken With The Train

I just bought Cowboy Troy's Loco Motive CD. I don't buy CD's hardly ever. I would say about 95% of the CD's I have are gifts. I'm cheap. This CD rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I highly recommend it. Its hilarious. I'd love to see Cowboy Troy live. He'll be here in September, but its over Labor Day weekend, and I won't be here.

Last night I went out with Shell, J, and an old friend (Butt) from HS. I see this old friend about once every 6 months or so. (Last time I saw her was December, before that was August) Her and I had just grown apart, I think alot of that had to do with my friendship with P. I actually enjoyed Butt's company last night. She talks alot...but she always has. Between J & Shell bickering over silly things, and Butt just being herself, my cheeks hurt from laughing so much. J & Shell were bickering over 5 inches of a TV screen.

While Shell, Butt, and I were having dinner, we ran into someone that I try to avoid. There are 3 Olive Gardens in lovely Macomb County. There is 1 that Shell & I try not to go to knowing that JV (ST's old roomie) works there, and I think Ann works there (I know she did work there). So last night we went to the Olive Garden closest to Butt's house. JV transferred to that one! EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK. I didn't talk to her very long, thankfully...but she surely isn't a fan of ST & Ann. Hello, JV. Ann was YOUR friend. ST was one of your boyfriend's best friends. Oh wait, you don't let him have friends.

We went to the movies last night. Not my ideal of fun, but I'll live to talk about it. I didn't even get up once to pee during the movie. GO ME! It was PACKED. We got there 40 minutes before the show we wanted to see, but that was sold out, so we had to see one that started 30 minutes later then that. The wait wasn't that bad...but waiting forever for a movie is silly. I played games on my phone most of the time. Yes, I have ADHD. We saw Mr & Mrs Smith. It was VERY GOOD!!!!!! The movie was good, the eye candy in the movie was top notch. Yes, I went to the movies & enjoyed it. Miracles happen.

Mom is doing decent, so far today. YAY! She went to the Dr. this morning. They took her off 1 medication, that they think was creating LOTS of the problems, with her appearing stoned all the damn time.

Oh yeah...Jess, my boss, she's the BEST boss in the entire world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She rules! I love her SO much! Jess has been cool since day one (back in November of 2001) when she was the trainer...but Friday she proved that she just rocks!!! Thursday someone had Taco Bell for lunch, all afternoon I was smelling Cinnamon Twists. Poor Chelle, I would NOT shut up about NEEDING Cinnamon Twists. Friday morning, Jess mentions she wants Taco Bell for lunch. Ut oh! I start ALL OVER AGAIN about NEEDING Cinnamon Twists. Chelle was ready to kill Jess, cause seriously, I was out of control over the things. I was broke like a joke Friday, so going to get my own Cinnamon Twists wasn't happening. So, I'm working away, and Jess comes back from lunch and she brought me Cinnamon Twists!!!!!!!!! It *SO* made my day. I was bouncing off walls over the things. Jess rocks, that's all there is to it.

I've talked to ST very briefly a couple of times in the past few days. That situation is really getting easier...at least, this week. Maybe because I'm starting to think I won't be single forever. Maybe because I've made the (I HATE not being able to spell) conscious decision, that I'm ready to date again.

I think I'm just chilling at home today. I hate that a real mall is 40 minutes away. I'm in such a GOOD mood (shut up SML)...and I'm staying home. That sucks.

T out.

Big Beat

I started typing a post, then IE froze and I lost it. ANNOYING!

I am doing MUCH better then I was a few hours ago. I was having crazy raging suicidal/homicidal thoughts. For me to swing so badly, I must say, I did a damn good job of keeping myself rational. I'd rather not disclose details of what lead me to swing so badly. All I can say is something MUST change DRASTICALLY VERY SOON regarding my Mom & her care.

I didn't get to go to Dad's softball. It got cancelled due to a thunderstorm in the 2nd inning, so I didn't mess much.

As of right now, my weekend is going to be "calmer" then I thought..."calmer" but its my life, my house, my family, my Mom...it can't be that calm. Tomorrow evening Shell & I are grabbing dinner. Saturday is free (besides housework, laundry, Mom-sitting), and Sunday is just Church and Church...but evening Church (most likely) is a concert at a different Church. I might fit some shopping in there somewhere (I have $$ and need clothes BADLY!) or maybe some hanging out with SML, since he has the weekend off. Its me...I'm not great at making (and KEEPING) plans...we shall see.

Bed time NOW! 3 hours of broken sleep doesn't cut it.

Peace, love, and sweatiness to all.

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Love Never Fails

I told SML I was going to bed 64 minutes ago...and here I am. So much to do, and so little time.

David's Friends was interesting tonight. This week is "moving up" week. All the children go up to their new classes for Sunday school and stuff. That also means that the new high school grads are part of our group. I feel bad for Jo. One of her ex-friends is now part of our group. Its making Jo VERY uncomfortable. I don't understand (and don't think I ever will) why Jo & this girl aren't friends anymore...I just hope they can get along and be cordial for the sake of the group. At the end tonight, we did this thing were we all prayed for everyone else. We were basically sitting in a circle, each person was to pray for the person on their left. Red started, we were laughing way to much as the guys (Red & Erob mainly) were praying. Then the girl next to me prays for Jo not me (Jo was kinda across from me), so she totally killed the circle. I think the real reason that the girl did that was because she couldn't remember my name. This girl is the blondest brunette I know! Jo went ahead and prayed for the person she was supposed to, then it got back to the girl on my left, she prayed for me...leaving me to pray last, praying for the person that started the prayer, praying for Red. EEEEEK. I could pray for anyone else in the group without getting tongue-tied and just frozen. I can carry on converstations with this kid face to face, talk with him about serious issues, laugh with him, have fun with him, but praying for him outloud, in front of 10 other people and I was dead in my tracks. I really need someone different to be infatuated with. Red was in 7th grade when I graduated...he's 4.5 years younger then me. I'm weird.

Now its 81 minutes after I said I was getting ready for bed...I'm going...soon.

T out.

Georgia Rain

Keeping my head above water.

For once (got to start somewhere), Dad forced Mom to go to his softball game tonight. No one wanted to stay home with her, we are constently rearranging our lives for her, her going with us some places, just is going to have to happen. Sadly, I'm glad that some others got to see Mom, in her not doing good moments.

Is it Saturday yet?

T out.

That Was Us

So much going on, so little time to blog. I've been doing MUCH better at putting other things (like SLEEP) before the computer.

Softball sucked today. We lost by 2 runs...kind of. We only got to play 3 innings, and according to the rules we have to play 4 innings for the game to count. We shall see what happens. I walked 3 times, I didn't swing the bat at all...I don't think I had a strike called at all. I played 3rd base...something that I've only done 1 other time. The 1st inning, I played crappy, but it got better. E5! Jo didn't go, something about not feeling good, her legs hurting. We played with 9 people. At least, we had a cool umpire...to bad his son didn't come with him.

Things aren't going well with Mom. We are all physically and mentally exhausted. Gma is here for a few days, trying to help. Jo has been busting her ass, in dealing with Mom. Mom normally goes about 1 week bad, 3 weeks good. Well, lets just say we are on about day 17 of her doing bad. I've been doing the best I can to help out some, but still take care of myself. The way I always managed to deal with Mom's bad spells before...was just that...they were bad spells, they would be gone soon enough. Not this time.

Tomorrow is work, Dad's softball, and drama club...I think. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.

Peace, love, and allergies to all.

Old Flame

There is a Church not far from my house, that has a message up right now that says "Who that angers you, controls you." Interesting...

That's all she wrote.

Home Sick

Jo & I didn't stay at the graduation party that long. Just didn't feel like it. People from our church can be so cliquey...because they are related and/or have been going to the same church(es) with the same people for their entire lives. I hate feeling like an outsider. My buddies were there...darn their family reunion.

I'm sick of EVERYONE asking about my Mom. I know they only do it out of love and concern, but its just getting annoying. Its not the "how is your Mom?" that bugs me really...its the "Why this, that, and the other?" Or the "You should do this, that, and the other." I know people don't understand things unless they are IN that situation...its just a real trying time for us right now.

Mom decided she wants to quit smoking. Dad bought her the patch. I have no faith in her quitting.

I think I need a nap. Brain overload. BTW...I think I did 3 loads of my laundry (and 3 loads of everyone elses). I still have 3 more to do.

T out.

From There To Here

Funning? What kind of word is funning? In my post The B-I-B-L-E, I used the word funning. I needed sleep, obviously.

Have a grad party to go to and just stuff to do.

That's all she wrote.

Earl's Breakdown

Lots going on...to much actually.

My allergies are kicking my butt. I have at least, 3 mosquito bites. I need to do laundry. Mom isn't doing good at all. I need to do laundry REALLY bad.

My head is above water, barely.

T out.

The B-I-B-L-E

I'm going to shoot Jo. She has this little kids song stuck in my head...

The B-I-B-L-E, yes that's the book for me. I stand alone on the word of God. The B-I-B-L-E.

David's Friends was okay tonight. There were only 8 people, which is double what we started with, but it seemed like *so* few tonight. We had a lesson about holiness & righteousness and did alot of talking about life. I often feel less smart biblically then everyone else there. 2 of the people have degrees from the Nazarene college, 1 goes there, 1 went there for a while. Red was there, cute like always. I am having so much funning bugging Jo about him. He's getting less annoying all the time, he just likes to talk a lot. I don't think I'll see him until next Wednesday. How sad! He was making eyes at me tonight. Maybe because I was the only one laughing at his (often stupid) jokes. I need my Red fix more often then that. (I better get over this fixation of him...how am I going to manage when he goes back to school in the fall? Hey its fun.)

Tomorrow is softball. The guys game starts 15 minutes before ours about 10 miles away. This schedule SUCKS.

SML is really on my case about only operating on the surface. Things will get better!

I am feeling a need to talk to ST, but lately, time just doesn't permit me to do that...at least, that's my excuse. He needs to go out of town, so I can talk to him online...its so much easier that way. I hate that he's still the person that knows and understands me the best.

I am going to bed by 23:00 tongiht. No more 03:00 nights this week.

Peace, love, and sleepless nights to all.