Made To Love

Last night wasn't as fun for me, as it should have been. Blah. My friend and I are VERY different about our puncuallity. I am (almost) always on time. My friend is NOT! We got there 30 minutes late (with his sister already calling to find out where we were), so it just had me livid. I sit down next to my friend J. He's tapping his watching and looking at me (note, I'm LIVID, so I didn't say anything to anyone but just sat down)...J noticed real quick that I wasn't in a joking mood and says "Honey, I know its not your fault." in the sweetest sincerest manner. So, I was just crabby all thru dinner plus my food wasn't that good (and last time it was GREAT!), my 1st chocolate covered cherry martini was decent...the 2nd one was TERRIBLE! So, we leave dinner and everyone comes back here to play games. We played True Colors which was okay, but I like playing that better with my friends. Then we played Yatzee. J had never played before. FU*KER! Gets not 1 or 2 Yatzees...but 3!

J & Shell brought there dog (Comet) with them for game time. Comet is so fun. Makes me want a dog! Okay...not really. I like the fun part of Comet but its good for her to go home. Comet almost knocked my teeth out last night (she's a 7 month old black lab). I was on the ground playing with her and she hit me in the mouth. Didn't hurt or anything, just surprised me.

After everyone left, my friend and I were just laying out of bed (still in regular clothes, lights on, windows/doors open) talking. It was so nice to just whind down with him. Then, while laying there I realized we've been dating 6 months. That's a REALLY long time! So we talked about lots of fun things. About where we'd be without each other, did we ever see it lasting this long, where we see it going, how we need to work on spending more quality time together, etc. It was just sweet, fun, thought prevoking, relaxing, and loving.

I've got to figure out what I'm doing about softball season. I want to play REALLY badly...but I don't want to drive an hour+ one way to play (2-4 days a week). I just wish I had options down this way. Thinking about softball had me thinking about Red. That's when I remind myself that "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers." This summer shall be interesting. I bet he'll be the sweetest thing now that I'm off the market.

I had crazy dreams last night.

1 had to deal with a wedding (it was J & Shell's wedding, but it was taking place now). The day of the wedding Shell was debating which veil to wear. A lace/crochet green and blue one, or a normal very plain white one. Then the limo, it wasn't big enough and I got "trapped" in the way front and got all clostrophibic feeling. Then during the time between the wedding and reception the wedding party was going to a Tigers game. We had a suite. But J, Shell, & I went up the wrong stairs, so we had to sit in the front row, but they were someone elses seats, so we sat there until they came. (Note: We are all in wedding garb).

The next dream was similar to a dream I had before...
(The previous dream...My Mom passes away and neither ST or SML will go to the funeral because they don't want to deal with each other)
Last nights dream...My Mom passes away and SML doesn't go to the viewing or the funeral. He really doesn't even acknowledge that my Mom just died. I go crazy telling him he's only acting this way because of his girlfriend. He has no reaction.

Last night, I had a great oppurtunity to invite Shell to Church and I totally blew it. There is always next time. God will open that door again.

Everything in life happens for a reason. Patience patience patience. I could go on and on with my mantras of life right now...but I won't.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Rockstar

I had some crazy fun interesting dreams last night. Of course, I can't remember them for jack right now. It was such a good happy night of sleep though. My friend and I actually crawled into bed at the same time (which might happen 2 times a month lately) and he was just all sweet and cuddly on and off. He kept trying to cover me up but I didn't want to be under all the covers. He's still snuggled down happily in the bed.

For about the past 5 years now, I've been a big fan of the "Pick & Choose your battles" mindset. Sometimes easier said then done...but I try. Some things, while they matter, just aren't worth fighting over.

This week, I had a realization, that fits with my "Pick & Choose" theory. I can't change my friend. While he's 99% perfect in my eyes, the little things he does that just bug me...aren't that important (like not going to bed when I want him to) and I need to just accept him for how he is!

So, my friend's family is coming over for dessert and games tonight after we all go to nice dinner. We aren't having anything I like for dessert. ERRRR! I don't see a point in making a 4th dessert just to make me happy...but blah. I just might. Then again, probably not. I'm baked out this week. (Signed the girl that baked 2 loaves of bread!)

God is love!

Dani California

Today has been a crappy day! Poor Jo & my friend. I put out distress calls before 09:00!

My (extended) family fails to realize a few things. 1) Mom's health sucks. 2) Mom's health isn't going to improve. 3) Everyone is doing the best they know how to help my Mom.

See that last one...that's the important one...we are doing the best we know dammit! I've been in tears on and off all day about this mess. I wish I could do ANYTHING to make things better...but I can't! Neither can my Dad. Trust me, if we could, we would. It would make our lives easier too if Mom's health was better. I wish I could explain my true frusteration with my Mom's family...but its not easy.

To make matters worse, I found out today that a relative (its Mom's cousin) has breast cancer. This is someone that I used to go visit every summer as a child (she lives in NC) and I'm just sad.

Other then that life is going decent. I got to spend time with my family last weekend which was nice. I'm annoyed though. I've left my older sister messages and she isn't calling me back. I want to see my nephews! ERRRR!

Tomorrow we have a shin-dig with my friend's family. I am just crabby so I don't want to deal with it, but I always have a good time with them. We are going to dinner to celebrate his mom's birthday/mother's day/good luck with surgery (she's getting a new knee)...then we are all (there shall be 8 of us) coming back here for dessert and games. Chocolate Covered Cherry Martini's here I come! This resturant has the best food and drinks EVER! Its my new fav!

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Like A Boy

I'm feeling very craptastic lately. I feel like no matter what I say or do...I'm just damned. I'm doing decent mentally there is just one area I'm struggling with...really struggling. I wish I could see an answer...but I don't. I feel like I've tried all my options and none of them are making things better. Time & prayer. Prayer & time.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Wasted Time

I hate Mondays!

Work was a blast today. Yeahhhh...right. I'm sick of cleaning up after others. I literally spent 1/2 of my day undoing something!

My weekend was pretty cool. My friend & I dropped like $600 at Kohl's. We got all new fancy pots and pans and new bedding/curtains plus some cookbooks, birthday gifts, and clothes. Kohl's sales, clearance, coupons ROCK!

Off to nap...that's what I do. Get over it.

How about my Red Wings? Off to a 2-0 start in the playoffs!! Wahoo!

God is love!

Interstate Love Song

Easter was a good time! Went to Mass with my friend, his mom & sister. Then to his parents house to color eggs, eat, play games, eat, and play more games. I had a good time. I love that I'm 95% comfortable around them.

After talking with my friend, he was cool with me heading to Cincinnati to visit ST (and hit Kings Island) but stupid ST is now out of town for work...for like 2 million years. 6 weeks...2 million years, close enough.

Life is going decent overall. For now. I know another depression rut can't be that far off. Hopefully nicer weather is on the way and that tends to help my moods. I need to decide if I want to try and play softball or not this year. I'd end up driving a TON again...and I'm LOVING not driving 1,000 miles a week.

I called JJ today, to see about stopping by to visit this weekend. Got her machine...I won't hold my breathe to hear back from her. I haven't seen my baby Jax since he was in the hospital...and JM & TOY, since TOY's b-day party in early Feb.

God is love!

Under The Lotus

I've got today off, for a nice 3 day holiday weekend! Wahooo!

Today is a very important serious holiday (holy-day) for me. Over the past few years, what Good Friday is really about & the price Christ paid for me has been overwhelming. I'll be heading to Church at 19:00. Other then that, I have no plans for the day or the weekend (well, except for Church again at some point, some where on Sunday).

Last night, I had a real awakening within my relationship. My friend and I haven't spent quality time together in awhile. We got 5 days while in Vegas but other then that its been slim to NONE. I've been busy, he's been insanely business (with work, other work, and helping his family). Its neither of our faults, life just happens. I've been doing a decent job at being understanding that he's busy and when he's not busy, he's exhausted. (He might just sit in front of a computer for a living...but do that for 80 hours a few weeks in a row along with 10-20 of other work and not be exhausted) Anyways...last night, I woke up from my nap and he was finishing up some things for work. He's like "Go start watching the game and I'll be down soon." That usually means see you in the middle of the night. So, I start the hockey game (at the end of the 1st period). He actually made it downstairs by 1/2 way thru the 2nd period. So we got to watch 1.5 periods of hockey + intermission together. He was lounging on the couch, me on the floor. Every time I'd look at him, he'd just smile. That's when it HIT me. Where my friend is a fantastic toughtful boyfriend...we have a great friendship too. We were good friendly friends of friends when we started dating and things took off much quicker then either of us thought possible, so we didn't have the best friendship to fall back on, but its so nice to know its there. I've got a FRIEND within my boyfriend. Its great! :-)

So on my day off, I might go shopping (shocking I know), or out to lunch (it sucks, Shell's not home. Stupid girl thinks she can honeymoon 6 months after her wedding. I hope her & J have a blast in Hawaii and leave MI stress in MI!) I might swing by my work to finish up 10 minutes worth of mess, because I should go by Gma's and Gma's is like a mile from work. A bunch of we shall see with no real plan. RELAXING. To bad Mother Nature forgot its SPRING!

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Better Off

I'm sick. Thankfully, it appears to be on its way out. I don't know if it was the flu, a touch of food poisoning, or stress related.

I talk about all this stress...right now, leading my stress way...without going into to much detail...

1) Money (like always)
2) My little sister
3) My friend's daugher passing away
4) My friend who I can't be there for as much as I'd like to be
5) My friends' jobs
6) My friend not being my friend any longer
7) My boyfriend's family issues (and for once, boyfriend's family issues don't involve them hating me!)

Some of it tie together and make everything fun in my head.

I want a steak & baked potatoe for dinner reallllllllly bad. I'll probably have soup.

God is love!

I'm Workin'

In case I haven't mentioned my love of Tim McGraw & Faith Hill lately...

101 days until the Tim & Faith Soul 2 Soul III.

I am BEYOND excited. I have 2 tickets (which I bought myself this time, which sucks!) and I have no idea who I'm taking with me. My friend doesn't care to go, but he'll go. I'd rather go with something that WANTS to go. I've seen Tim countless times since Oct of 97 & I think I can count on 2 fingers how many times (now 3) that I had to buy the tickets. Blah.

Tim released a new CD on Tuesday. I was slacking and didn't buy it until Friday. My opinion of Tim McGraw's "Let It Go" CD. Song # 11, I Need You (with Faith Hill) is GREAT! Song #1 Last Dollar (its all over the radio right now) is GREAT! Overall, its another good Tim CD. Nothing super about it yet...but quality.

Now...the reason I signed on to post again. My friend is sleeping still. I've been awake & playing on the computer for an hour or 2 now. I quietly walk into the bedroom to grab my purse. He wakes up and goes "Where did you go?" I'm like "No where, I'm on the computer." He goes..."What are you buying now?" Smart little cat we have there. T grabbing her purse+playing on the computer=shopping. Busted. Damn him. FYI...I bought 2 Las Vegas picture frames. 1 for my desk at work, 1 for the the living room here.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Let It Go

So, I just spend $3 (or something like that) buying a new ring tone for my phone. Dammit! Its not the one I want! Not even close. ERRRR! I'll get over it, but like I said...ERRRR!

Last night's "Game Night" that we had here went much better then I was stressing out about. I had a good time, I know my friend had a good time. Now, it looks like a tornado went thru the kitchen. I'm so glad we started this monthly "Game Night". The original 6 of us might see/talk to each other often, but to get all of us to sit down together is cool. The month of April its looking rough to get everyone together. Damn people going to Hawaii for a honeymoon. ;-)

So, I know what's going on in Jo's life now. I'm concerned but not that concerned or stressed. My only answer to things at 1st was interesting. After the fact, I realized that probably wasn't the nicest answer and not what my sister needed to hear, but she probably knew that's close to the answer she was getting. Yesterday, I felt a little calmer and had time to think, and was able to give her more thought out answers & a little bit of T's stupid knowledge.

Happy April Fool's Day!

Easter is in 1 week. I wish I had a clue what was going on that day. Right now, I think I'm going to Church (alone) and coming home to sit by myself. Fun.

God is good!